God is awesome.
He had me born into a family I love. Besides God and family, I like video games a lot. He had me born when video games just started to come out, so a lifetime training in them makes me a world class master in many games. He commissioned me as a messenger, and my task is easy compared to early Christian's persecutions.
I have a great life thanks to God. And the cool thing is that it only gets better in Heaven.
67 comments
Alright, just a gawd-damned minute!
Do you actually believe that a supreme being, omniscient, omnipotent and all powerful gives fiddler's fuck if you can get to level 12 of some fucktarded video game.
That would be blasphemy.
Fanatic-Templar;
I don't actually have an immortal soul but if I could find my copy of Starcraft I'd be happy to wager it on a game anyway. =P
Why don't you get off your fat fundie arse and go to, oh, maybe Darfur, maybe your inner city, or a thousand and one other places you could go to make a difference for your fellow man, instead of being a video game addicted ass-wipe?
Sorry to break this to ya kid, but g0d is not the final Boss in your games. And remember, the mystical shit that the final boss tells you, is the same shit he tells everyone who plays the game.
RL...remember that? Oh yeah, you missed out on that. Well, do us all a favor and don't ever leave your momma's basement.
God also had people lots of other people born when other major tech developments became huge.
Additionally, if video games didn't come out, do you really think God could have possibly want them?
Uh, sorry kid, but video games have been around for more than 7 1/2 years.
Oh, and, wtf? Relevance, your Honor?
I hate to burst your bubble dood, but the stork had dementia and delivered you to the wrong house.
If anything, one could argue that if God had meddled in things, it wasn't that he loved you, but that he hated both your parents!
What, so you're a black-belt, sixth-dan, stealthy ninja master at Frogger or something?
Son, that won't even help you flip burgers, try Cooking Mama instead.
(What's the betting that James here can complete Night Trap using only one hand? Just don't ask where the other hand is!)
e commissioned me as a messenger, and my task is easy compared to early Christian's persecutions.
I don't think that trying to convert NPC's counts as witnessing.
Cute. ^^ Cute and totally lacking in perspective.
I like the video games too, but I have no choice but to cast severe doubt on that being the reason he put you (and many many others) on earth at this time. This is a rather short-sighted way of going about things, and if you replaced video games with any one material thing there'd be little change in that fact. Consider the world at large, for example.
To give credit where it's due, at least he recognizes that he's got it pretty good compared to the early Christians.
Only a world-class master? Rayman Raving Rabbids says I'm the 'Best Player in the Universe' on Bunny Hunt .
(Hint: for a really high score, always sacrifice a real bunny and smear its blood over the walls in the form of the holy sigil of Lord Cthulhu before each level. Also make sure you don't stand to close to any obstacles or other players.)
You know what, if there's a higher power, I am thankful for it.
I am thankful that it blessed me with intuition. That it blessed me with empathy, to understand the suffering of others. That I was blessed with a family that loves me, and that I love in return, even if I do threaten a few of them with pain of death once in a while. I am thankful that I am talented, and intelligent. I am thankful that I am an independent person, albeit to a fault at times. But never once would I attribute something as trivial as game playing skill to a deity. I'm pretty sure if there is a higher power, he could give a rats ass if I can beat Ruby and Emerald Weapon, or if I can beat Bowser.
Not so fast young man, maybe you need me to beat your ass at Madden a couple of times, then you'll start to question your faith! *flips the bird*
although it is nice to see a happy-go-lucky fundie for a change, a welcome break from miserable bastards like David J. Stewart and Kent Hovind you must admit...
He's 30?!? Egad, I was all set to nominate this for a Cutest Fundie Award, assuming it was someone about 12 years old -- maybe 14, tops. But for this to be coming from a 30-year-old is just depressing.
You know what's depressing? I had an atheist 'friend' who acts EXACTLY like this (just without the religious raving).
Dude, you've got some weird-ass priorities. Seriously, you're waiting for The Wizard to come out on DVD, aren't you? I mean, I'm a thirty-something basement dweller as well, but I at least want to get into television. I'm pretty sure a camcorder will get me further than a PS3. Maybe not much further, but it's better than that.
God rips people off by making them shop at Electronics Boutique for the latest games.
P.S jamesSager3 I kick you fat little chirstian ass at any video game punk. Lets see ya beat me at through fire and flame on guitar hero 3 on expert!
See what I mean about their god getting senile? He used to be able to part the Red Sea! These days, well, forget about getting James a good job or a nice girlfriend: it's all god can do to get this 30-year-old basement-dweller top ranking in video games.
I'm underageb&. I'm extremely left behind in my family, there's about a ten year distance that shouldn't have been there. I would kill to have been born before the mid-90's and grow up with my brother and cousin, watching The Real Ghostbusters when it was brand new, playing Turtles in Time on Super Nintendo and doing a bunch of other shit.
this is no where near fundie. he's not raving, he's not insane, he's not hateful, he's not uber-religious. he just believes in god. don't attack this post, it shouldn't even be here.
Perhaps if god loved you a little more you would have been born in japan, they have alot more games. Byw did god hate all the people who were born, drafted into war at 18, and killed
Marissa: "God sucks. He had me be born in England, where we get about 10% of the games America gets, and always the crap movie tie-ins or sports games. I want RPGs."
I'm English, and I feel your pain. On the RPG front, may I please reccomend the Shin Megami Tensei games? Not just the actual franchise, but all the spins-offs, ESPECIALLY the Devil Summoner games and the third and fourth Persona games.
You are arrogant and pathetic. Do you actually believe that a being powerful enough to create the entire universe would give a flying fuck abut your precious video games?
Also, I doubt you are a world class master at any video games. I bet you are just another worthless wannabe who considers himself a world class master for being able to defeat his 6 year old sister.
While stupid, at least this one isn't one of those, "Life on earth has to suck, and if you have any fun you'll be raped by porpoises for an eternity," sorts.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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