The following is a parody that includes both facts and far fetched suggestions, attempting to sound like the voice of propaganda TV series trying to convince their audience with outlandish stories of ancient aliens with pseudoarchaeological arguments.
Is Yahweh anthropomorphic? Is the explanation that humans created Yahweh like for the other deities? If so, does Yahweh have a mouth? The Bible claims so and that he even spits people out of it! Consequently, if he has a mouth, it also means that he eats, suggesting that he also has a digestive system. If so, it has interesting implications. Does God defecate? All of the evidence point out that if he existed, he would!
Does YHWH also have a penis? Scriptures often refer to him with masculine pronouns, it was, afterall, a patriarchal society with its patriarchal versions of the origin myths of the Levant. A few verses mention that he would have a wife. Archaeology suggests that he actually did before an attempt to impose monotheism by a power elite, he was a storm war god with a consort, Asherah. Polytheism with consorts suggests fertility cult.
If so, this suggests the equivalent of a lingam, yes, a penis! And we know that the most ancient human cults were centered around fertility and the denial of death, the magicalization of nature that they did not understand, animism, etc.
But if God has a penis, it also means that he urinates and ejaculates, that his consorts also have vaginas, like yonis, receptacles that if inseminated, should result in reproduction!
Why? Because ancient humans created and adapted him, from and to their culture. The very reason it's anthropomorphic, with all the weaknesses of stupid mortal humans. If so, it explains why he's a jealous asshole who enjoys playing chess in the sky with humans, the image of an abusive king claiming to be of divine origin to justify it. He's even affraid of tall buildings (Babel)!
This is so obvious that a verse also had to be added, a justification, denying the fact and falsely pretending that humans were created in God's image. Therefore aliens!
