LaBarbera: If you want to just think of how wrong homosexual so-called marriage is just ask yourself: how do two guys consummate their marriage? Yuck.
Mefferd: I’m sure they don’t like that question, Peter.
LaBarbera: Yes, they don’t like it and it’s because it’s absurd. The whole concept is absurd. It’s not marriage. You know one angle that I’m going to be writing about Janet is if you’ve got homosexual so-called marriage legalized you’re going to end up teaching gay sex-ed, there is no way around it.
—
LaBarbera: I believe it was on NPR in Boston after homosexual so-called marriage was legalized there, or forced by the courts, one I believe it was a teacher who said she was emboldened to talk more frankly about homosexuality in the schools in Massachusetts. Think about it, if a teacher is so-called married, say a guy, a male teacher is married to another man, so-called because of course it’s not really marriage, he gets to talk about that marriage in the classroom just as a normal heterosexual married person could talk about — you know a man could talk about his wife.
56 comments
the Horror! the Horror!
quick! everyone panic!
If you want to just think of how wrong homosexual so-called marriage is just ask yourself: how do two guys consummate their marriage? Yuck
I recently read a news story about two 90 year olds getting married. A Man and a women.
Now, just ask yourself: how do those two consummate their marriage? Yuck ;-)
These people really are afraid of homosexuality. This speaks volumes about their confidence in ther own sexual orientation. And they dwell lovingly on anal sex without a thought that many heterosexual partners practise it. Indeed, many heterosexual men like to have prostate massage during sex with their wives...now how do they do that?
Protip: gays are not as filthy in their anal sex as the minds of La (feminine article, btw!)Barbera's (almost a woman's name!) and Mefferd's are. The colon can be cleansed, y'know, and gays who practise anal sex know how to do this. Clearly La Barbera and Mefferd don't know how. Clearly they have never had the pleasure of prostatic massage. It's not called man's G spot for nothing.
yeah, gay sex is gross. but so is straight sex. kissing is probably the most disgusting thing.
i mean, imagine two people spitting in each other's mouths. how's that different from kissing?
and like catholics used to say, imagine a beautiful woman, then imagine a sack containing all the blood, guts, shit, piss, puss, etc. that's contained in her skin. still want to fuck?
this is why it's impolite to talk about sex, because sex is disgusting but it gets people hot and bothered, which makes the disgust worse.
anyway, peter labarbera paints a picture of the future more terrifying than "the road".
"Horror of horrors! Teachers... gay teachers... will talk about their gay marriages! And civilization will crumble and fall!"
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
WHAAAT!? Gay people living their lives, like it's normal, and not staying in the closet?? Can't have that!
Also two guys consummating their marriage is fucking hot, not so-called "yuck."
You know one angle that I’m going to be writing about Janet is if you’ve got homosexual so-called marriage legalized you’re going to end up teaching gay sex-ed, there is no way around it.
I suggest we do this, then force Peter to attend one of said classes.
Also, way to be honest about your lack of a reasonable argument.
When I was in elementary school, two of my teachers were married to each other. None of them ever discussed their private life, let alone their sexuality with us students, because it was none of our damn business. What kind of schools did you go to where teachers telling their students about their lovelife is normal?
Yuck.
If that's the extent of your argument against gay marriage, then think of this one: how do coprophiliacs consummate their marriage? Yet I don't hear you screaming about how using feces during intercourse is an affront to marriage.
It’s not marriage
Yes, it is, or at least in civilized portions of the world, like most of Europe.
you’re going to end up teaching gay sex-ed
OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!
how do two guys consummate their marriage?
Any way they want to. I don't care.
Yuck.
I bet you wouldn't be saying that about two women consummating their marriage.
Old people having sex is also yuck-y to think of for most people, you wanna tell old people they can't have sex anymore?
Yes, they'll teach gay sex ed in schools, it will go something like this "these are your sexual organs", "this is how you put on a condom" and "this is how awful STDs are".
Straight sex ed looks something like this: "these are your sexual organs", "this is how you put on a condom", "this is how awful STDs are" and "don't get pregnant before you're ready".
How do I know that? It was included in my sex ed classes.
" how do two guys consummate their marriage? Yuck. "
Gays are yucky so they can't have rights.
Fundies are even more yucky. At least gays don't molest children then tell me I'm immoral.
If you want to just think of how wrong homosexual so-called marriage is just ask yourself: how do two guys consummate their marriage? Yuck.
So your entire argument against gay marriage is 'I think gay sex is uber-icky'? Seriously? That's all you've got?
Look, Pete, just because the thought of two guys gettin' in on grosses you out does not mean it should be banned!
Sauerkraut grosses me out, should we ban that? NO!
OH NOES! TWO MEN/WOMEN FUCK! THE HORROR! THE HUMANITY!
And you mean to tell me that they will be allowed to speak about it, like normal straigh people do? Will it never end?! Oh truly, us uppity queers should know our places!
Also, I'm damn sure they voted in Boston. You lost. Put on your big boy pants, stop sucking your thumb and deal.
Mefferd: I’m sure they don’t like that question, Peter.
You probably wouldn't want to think closely about your grandparents consummating their marriage, either. That's why most of us pull our shades down at night.
Let's push the clock back about 50 years here:
If you want to just think of how wrong interracial so-called marriage is just ask yourself: how do two people of different colors consummate their marriage? Yuck.
Gay sex-ed: It's not just for Homos anymore!
Spin, Anita, Spin! What? You're not dead yet? Well, Peter here is still "thinking of the children!"
Yuck!
For one, it wasn't forced.
Meanwhile, the sane part of the world is wondering what's wrong with anything he's complaining about..
This is what they're afraid of:
Mommy teacher has a husband.
Mommy: Well, um...
If you believe it's wrong just tell them that while they should respect their teacher that's also not something the you approve of.
Hopefully your kid will see through it by the time they're an adult.
I doubt if straight married teachers discuss their sex lives in detail with their students, so I expect gay married teachers to follow the same guidelines.
Act like an adult, Peter.
You want something disgusting?
Think about the millions of heterosexual couples consummating their marriage everyday!
The exchange of bodily fluids, in a sweaty embrace, tongues intertwined, saliva mixing, odours coming together in a gut-wrenching spasm of liberation at the climax of the act, with the slow descent during which partners croon at each other, weary of their exertions, their fluids mating in their respective bushes...
Did I put you off your meal yet?
Stop talking about disgusting, there is no clean sex (except some form of BDSM, but you guys would never accept it as sex).
Hopefully, male teachers do not get away with talking about fucking their wives. If gay teachers are held to the same standards for content as straight teachers, then yes, they can talk about their spouses same as anyone. I can somewhat sympathize with if not support discomfort with 'gay sex ed,' but with people having equal rights to discuss their loved ones...uh. You see the problem? Probably not.
Come to think of it, I never actually got any sex ed...act-specific enough to be exactly gendered, except that as we were a girl's school and condom application was briefly covered via banana, I guess it was definitely not lesbian-exclusive sex ed. I think we learned about other contraceptives, too, but it's a little hazy. Health was taught by literally the stupidest woman in the school, a gym teacher I suspect of head trauma. There may or may not have been some vague reference to the interaction of penis and vagina taking place before fertilization, in the part where we learned how human reproduction functions, but then again that may have been middle-school biology.
Anyone else recall whether sex ed taught them how to physically go about conducting sexual relations? Because if that's not standard practice already, I REALLY doubt it will become standard vis-a-vis the gay community, when the lesbian and gay-male lessons would be useful to maybe 5% of the class each. I seriously doubt that is what sex ed is for anywhere, though.
I bet most newly married couples (regardless of genders involved) have already consummated their relationship long before they got married. It's of no real importance any longer, is it? You can't dissolve or annul a non-consummated marriage nowadays, can you?
In the sex-ed I received in the 70s and 80s, homosexuality was included in the curriculum. It's nice to see that it took the US only thirty years to catch up... Or, if Peter here is full of it; to see that a 11-year-old Swede thirty years ago managed to accept what his adult self can't accept today.
It IS a real marriage; two consenting adults join together to live with each other and share everything, and perhaps have children together.
My husband often talks about his wife, what's so special about that? Some men talk about their husbands instead, no big deal.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.