People are indeed all liars, unlike my angelic overseers, who speak with the truth of God. They assured me today that I have reached the United States.
Yes, I have landed my luxury yacht at last, at a small jetty on the West Coast of the USA. However, the people here all dress in ponchos and only seem to speak Spanish. It's also very hot... but I suppose that's because of all the sin that happens in Western cities like San Francisco.
I was bemused by the reaction of the Spanish speakers to my appearance however... although my lower half is totally naked, my upper half is dressed in an immaculate jacket, shirt, and tie. However the local women found the immaculateness terrifying and ran away. This is a sure sign that the people here need salvation. Some humble evangelical work is needed here, I think. My luxury yacht needs fuel and a service and it all has to be paid for somehow!
My Japanese girlfriend has been well trained in ministering to the spiritual needs of others. When the head man of the village spoke angrily and mentioned "Policia", my Japanese girlfriend (I really must ask her what her name is sometime) immediately began evangelating him. This eased the situation somewhat. The head man must have a feeling for religion as he smiled happily whilst being evangelated.
However, when I explained in broken Spanish that I was there to give my support to God's appointed ambassador on Earth, it appeared he thought I meant the disgusting heathen Pope of the disgusting heathen, hell-bound Roman Catholic church. When I revealed I meant Donald Trump, he became angry and threw me back onto my boat, keeping my devout Japanese lady companion to himself. I briefly heard her saying "thank you for saving me" to the Spanish speaking guy in the poncho. Strange, I thought she was already saved due to my vigorous ministering to her in the bunks of my yacht every night.
I miss her companionship, but I am really glad I don't have to suffer the Satanic abomination of her performing oral sodomy on my male reproductive organ any more. That was an act I feared might undo our salvation and lose me the favour of God and all his angels who looked after me, and who guided me unfailingly to the USA.
