[If you can't convert people by persuading them that Christianity has any benefits over other religions and philosophies, you can always convert them by scaring the pants off them!]
Man, we have the greatest benefit of all; the benefit of NOT BEING LIT ON FIRE FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
55 comments
Wow. Guess I'll just have to console myself with the meager benefits of free will, free thought, earthly pleasures, and a life relatively free of fear and superstition.
Oh, AND the not being lit on fire for eternity thing. I've got that benefit too, because it just isn't going to happen.
Both buddhism and hinduism have many hells, some of which involve burning.
What's more, if you make a mistake you aren't 'condemned for all eternity', but only until you have been justly punished, at which point you're sent back to have another go at getting it right. It's the religious equivalent to being sent back to the start of the level.
So it would seem that it's the other religions that have all the benefits. Specifically, they benefit by not being presided over by a vainglorious bigot who hands out incredibly disproportionate punishments and ignores the capacity of people to learn and change.
Yeah, it's this shit that made me quit religion when I was 13. Week after week of "Yer goin' to hell". Well, that stupidity and well-known local mafioso throwing hundred dollar bills in the collection plate, while their armed bodyguards stood in the back of the church.
tracer, I noticed the same thing.
My new religion will have a 10% afterlife guarantee. Bring in any description of the afterlife from either a revealed scripture or a religious body having recognized magisterium, and my religion will make our heaven 10% more heavenly and our hell 10% more hellish.
What the fuck did your mommy and daddy do to you, Shieldoffaith? It must have been a hair-raising fright that put that bullshit in your head. Did they whip you? Deprive you of food and sleep? They threatened you with eternal anguish, obviously. How old were you when they did this? 2? 3? How many brainwash sessions did it take?
Don't these people realize that they are worshipping God, not because of their love for him, or thanking him for the good things in their lives, but because they're afraid that if they don't, God will light them on fire? That doesn't really sound like a good basis for a religion to me.
I don't know. Islam let's me have virgins. That's a pretty good benefit.
I have a feeling you only get that one if you die a fiery, violent death while smiting unbelievers. If you kick the bucket naturally or in an accident, they probably just give you a handshake and a crappy certificate or something as a runner up prize.
Imagine a small child frightened by a scary story.
Normal parent: hug, comfort, explain to child that monsters aren't real and can't hurt you.
Fundie parent: agree, confirm child's fears, point out that hideous demons who's dearest wish is to torture you for eternity lie in wait around every corner.
Sickos.
@ Osiris, GigaGuess:
Fuck if I can't remember where I heard it (might've read it), but I seem to recall hearing (maybe reading) that the word in the Koran for "virgins" is a mistranslation of the word for a type of white raisin.
Therefore, upon arriving at heaven, martyrs for Islam might be unpleasantly surprised by a handful of dried fruit....
But first, you have to demonstrate that there is a Heaven or Hell convincing them that Christianity is good by reason or whatever, don't you think?. Don't put the cart before the horse, first you have to convert them, Hell comes AFTERWARDS.
@Wurdalac
Well, I dunno which'd be worse. Being presented with a handful of dried grapes, or 72 guys with no idea what they're doing. That said, being gay, it'd be a slightly better situation for me than the average guy, but still...
<<Imagine a small child frightened by a scary story.
Normal parent: hug, comfort, explain to child that monsters aren't real and can't hurt you.
Fundie parent: agree, confirm child's fears, point out that hideous demons who's dearest wish is to torture you for eternity lie in wait around every corner.
Sickos.>>
QFT
With you guys at Christian Forums, there's always a way to get someone's pants off.
Also, even a large heathen, if immolated slowly won't provide fuel for any more than 18 hours.
I don't approve of burning anyone. I'm just saying.
SOF is a troll, please dont posts his troll crap here.
Once again SOF not fundie
I don't know.
Well, you know what they say.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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