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John Branyan #crackpot #fundie #pratt johnbranyan.com

ATHEISTS BRAINS DON'T WORK WITHOUT GOD

[For "National Ask-An-Atheist Day 2011]

Theists can think.

Nobody else can.

Respect for God is where wisdom begins.

Thought without wisdom is impossible.

So that’s it.

You Atheists will object.

You think you think.

I don’t believe it.

Why should I?

You offer no empirical evidence.

No proof your thoughts exists.

You say, “Show me your God!”

I say, “Show me your thought!”

Brain scans don’t cut it.

A scan just proves brain activity.

Doesn’t prove thinking.

If activity signaled origination then

…music comes from your eardrum.

But I’m already too deep.

Only the theists are still with me.

You Non-Theists are readying another volley of vitriolic vapidity:

“Do you believe in Santa Claus too? Santa and God are the same thing!”

Oooo! Ouch!

“There’s a multiverse! The multiverse makes life possible!”

Zing!

“People don’t need God to be moral.”

Ka-Pow!

Comprehending any offered response to these statements requires thought.

That’s where you run into problems.

In place of genuine thought…

…you have skepticism.

You are skeptical of everything

…except your own skepticism.

Sorry.

I went too far again.

If you want to follow what I’m saying…

Wisdom is just a prayer away.

Ask God to reveal Himself and He will.

But you’re not gonna do that.

Because you think that’s stupid.

John Branyan #crackpot #fundie #pratt johnbranyan.com

EVIDENCE FOR GOD 2: MY JELLO IS ALIVE

This is the 2nd part of my fantastic new series where I present evidence for the existence of God.

In part one, I explained what I mean when I say “God”.

In order to understand the first evidence, you need to understand Jello.

Specifically, you must understand that Jello is not alive.

Though it comes in many shapes and flavors…

…none of them are living.

Suppose a spoonful of Jello that you scooped onto a plate suddenly came to life.

It slithered across the table onto the floor and headed out the front door.

Be honest…that would surprise you, wouldn’t it?

Suppose a microscopic piece of Jello suddenly came to life and slithered around.

Is that less surprising?

What if a microscopic piece of Jello came alive a million years ago?

It’s pretty miraculous no matter when it happened.

That’s essentially what happened on Earth at some point in the unrecorded past.

It wasn’t exactly Jello that came to life but it was something just as dead.

And that’s not something that ever happens.

Non-living stuff doesn’t come to life.

Living things only come from other living things.

Always.

Earth started out as dead as a teaspoon of Jello.

And then there were living cells.

Poof!

That’s evidence