(in response to a thread started by a lesbian who recently began dating a man)
It's not that you are betraying the community, it's that you are betraying yourself. In Jr. High you started the shed the chains of the heteronormative patriarchy, and you decided to put those chains back on.
Trust me, as someone who has been in relationships with men and is now a lesbian, men are all evil violent defective creatures. They will abuse you, they will feed off your positive energy while offering nothing in return, they will rape you. They put on a shiny 'White Knight' facade, but given enough time that facade will crack and their inner violent nature will shine through.
I know what you are saying, "My Nigel isn't like that'. He is, as all men are. I don't know if it is in their genetics or rooted deeply in their privilege, but they are all violent abusive fucks. I hope you can get free of him before he has a chance to hurt you.
Witchwind, a feminist blogger, explains the facade Men put up in order to trap and abuse us very we'll here. Please read this and take heed to what you are walking into: http://witchwind.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/spot-the-man-behind-the-man/
37 comments
So, for whatever reason, she's decided to go back into the closet. It's her choice, but I hope she realises her error before it's too late.
If a woman dates a man, she's a bisexual, not a lesbian.
I've been living with my husband since 1991. I highly doubt that he will suddenly drop a facade this late in the "game".
Have you met all men? How else can you know what ALL men are like?
Oh boy, radfem... Neither rad nor feminist. Obligatory note from reality: Just. No. I don't even know what to say to women who believe all men are innately evil. I've never been in a good relationship, but can grasp that there are plenty of men and women who have loving, happy lives together.
How would someone be betraying themselves if they pursue a relationship of their own free will? What are bisexuals, just wishy-washy swindlers forever adrift in the current of human intimacy? How can one "take off the chains" of heterosexuality? If you can't force gay people to be straight seems it wouldn't work the other way around, either.
Speaking as a man, I'm actually not sure I consider this fundie, despite how over-the-top the nature of her comment might be.
The OP strikes me as someone who has been abused, both badly and repeatedly by multiple persons. A subtext of pain underlies everything she writes. This is someone who hurts.
She obviously is in much need of help and healing and I hope she can find it someday.
@Captain Bacardi
I'm sure a lot of the fundamentalists or MRAs we get here have been badly hurt in one way or another as well. You don't get to be that screwed up through natural means. If we don't extend them any sympathy, though, I don't see why we're obligated to extend any to this radfem psycho.
@Cloning Blues
"Fundie" is in the eye of the beholder, of course. I can see where you're coming from -- we're all entitled to our own definitions (and I'll even admit that yours probably comes closer to that expressed in the FAQ than mine). I'm just expressing my take.
Speaking as someone who, at one point in his life, wrote stuff that probably belonged here, however, I guess that the stuff I'd label as fundie tends to be born out an abundance of hubris, a lack of self-awareness, an absence of introspection, and a dearth of empathy. Ignorance while claiming mastery of the facts, if you will. This person, on the other hand, just seems to be someone who is hurting from being betrayed one too many times. Extreme, to be certain, but expressing an extremity borne from unfortunate experiences rather than a lack of exposure to other points of view.
I could be wrong, of course, and it's all very subjective. But hey, I'm not trying to change any minds here. To each their own! :-)
I kept suffering from cracked facade until i began moisturizing daily.
I dont think this is lesbianism, bisexuality or anything else. I see it as possible that a young woman had not clearly defined her sexuality until she decided her boyfriend was what she wanted.
All violent abusive ... says it all really.
We're all violent abusive fucks?
Aw, dammit- I was planning on baking some banana bread and watching a couple movies tonight, but now I have to go out and rape someone. Thanks, OBAMA.
I feel bad for the OP.
As for the "bisexual" comments: she might be close enough to lesbian on the Kinsey scale to identify as such. If you're only attracted to women, and ONE man, it's fair enough to refer to yourself as lesbian.
Hmmm, remember that MRAs are coming from a place of privilege while complaining that they are so oppressed while usually promoting the subjugation and hatred of women. Women on the other hand are actually a minority in a sexist society and undoubtedly many rad-fems have been abused and have had bad experiences with men. So they do not come from the same place.
Not that I have tolerance for rad-fems with their transphobic, anti-male, and ultimately anti-feminist views. But I feel sympathy for women who are abused. No sympathy for the rape apologist MRAs who claim they are victims of feminism.
So, either she's bisexual or tried going back into the closet. Her choice, I guess.
Now, THIS person has the same amount of sanity as you find in the average psychiatric hospital patient. She's under the (retarded) assumption that all men are VIOLENT EVIL SOCIOPATHS! (for the record, the last time I hit anyone in a proper fight (I occasionally muck about with my brother or friends) was... Jesus, I think it was about 5 years ago.)
@Pmorg: Judging by that thread and the original thread, I highly doubt she's opted to re-closet herself....besides, if she were to "go back in the closet", wouldn't she have to somehow make all her friends and family forget about her orientation too?
Those of you going on about privilege and this being different from the MRAs on account of that, it really isn't. We've had MRA whackos who've ranted long and loud about all the personal betrayals they've suffered at the hands of women. If we're going to dismiss their BS--as well we should--we have to do it to the radfem lunatics as well.
Especially since we've absolutely no way to know if this person has actually been abused. We can't just make that assumption. It could be that she--like thatincelblogger and fschmidt--is just an ass.
oh god how many Political Lesbians use this?
Bad enough they are devaluing LGBT+ movements by saying that they chose to be gay.
Now they are getting papers written.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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