First of all this morning, I have to apologize for our failure to bring the rain we promised to Texas. We thought sure that we were going to be able to bring the storm over Texas for several hours and cause a great deal of rain. But Obama drew an horrendous surge of dark power up from South America, we believe using his union supporters, and pushed the storm east, causing it to take the track that we have been predicting for several months. Not that we didn't take advantage of it, but still we would've liked to get the rain to Texas. It is obvious this foul creature still has power, though it is weakening.

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To give The Republicans more power I am putting forth a proposal. I have asked Conan O'Brien to move his show to Las Vegas, and to have his wife become my servant's campaign manager in Nevada. When my servant is president have Conan be his press secretary. In exchange in a thousand years I will give Conan power and glory equal to my own and a world to rule over in the stars as I rule over the Earth, especially for the people of Nevada. This is one male that is offered great power. I have also asked the senior President Bush to be my earthly host in Maine for two years, to have his wife Barbara be my servant's campaign manager in Maine.