Here is my revenge story about @Anon-e-moose in the parallel universe.
Anon-e-moose was an administrator on Fundies Say The Darnedest Things. He lived in England.
In 2015, when the true king was put on the throne, the government made new regulations for the site for it to be allowed in England.
Since Catholicism became the official religion of England again, Fundies Say The Darnedest Things were forbidden from quoting or mocking Catholics or the government. They could mock Protestant fundies and Protestantism, but were forbidden from committing blasphemy against Christianity itself.
Anon-e-moose was angry that democracy in England was replaced by a traditional Catholic monarchy. It infuriated him that things he considered to be human rights, such as freedom to insult the government, same sex marriage, and abortion were outlawed. He wished that he could somehow overthrow the government and restore democracy.
Meanwhile on November 14th, 2017, someone claiming to be Patrick Scrivener posted a comment, accusing Fundies Say The Darnedest Things of being an MI6 controlled website to discredit his exposing of the great conspiracy. However on December 5, he blew his cover and was forced to admit that he was Jacob Harrison, the Archbishop of New Camelot, a city planted on Earth from the sky and a major advisor to the king. He said he was mocking Patrick Scrivener because he hated that Patrick was insulting and spreading conspiracy theories about England and the Catholic Church.
This gave Moose an idea on how to overthrow the government. He went onto Reformation.org and found the email of the real Patrick Scrivener. He then sent him an email.
Dear Patrick Scrivener,
Archbishop Harrison impersonated you on Fundies Say The Darnedest Things mocking you, discrediting your exposing of the great conspiracy. I want to overthrow the English government so I need your help. What you need to do is to contact Archbishop Harrison, pretending to have converted back to Catholicism. Arrange to go on a pilgrimage to New Camelot Cathedral as penance for your apostasy from Catholicism in 1973 when you were born again, and for slandering the Catholic Church.
Secretly bring a tranquilizer with you. After tranquilizing him, go on his computer and impersonate him, making a threat to kill the king. He will therefore be charged with high treason, and executed.
Then reveal the truth of what happened and that Harrison was innocent. The execution of an innocent cleric will cause Catholics to be outraged so there can be a revolution against the government.
To which Patrick Scrivener responded,
It must be the will of God that I overthrow the Latin Church monarchy and fulfill the prophecy of Revelation 13:3!! I will wound the beast!!
And so, Patrick Scrivener contacted Jacob Harrison and travelled to New Camelot Cathedral.
“Welcome, Niall Kilkenny,” said Jacob Harrison. “I am glad that you are repenting of your apostasy.”
Patrick Scrivener then tranquilized Jacob. He went on his computer and typed on Fundies Say The Darnedest Things impersonating Jacob.
I am tired of marijuana being illegal because I want to get high so I will kill the king in hope that his successor will legalize it.
Patrick then took the dart out of Jacob and left.
Jacob therefore came out of his sedation.
“Niall you son of a bitch! What did you knock me out for?!”
Later, Knights came in, and grabbed Jacob.
“You are under arrest for plotting to kill the king!”
“I did no such thing!” said Jacob.
“We saw your online post about how you were planning to kill him hoping that his successor would legalize cannabis! Geez you are so fucking stupid to post your plans on the internet!”
“Patrick Scrivener is framing me! I never smoked pot and am a loyal servant!”
“Tell that to the judge!”
So Jacob was brought before the king’s court. He was found guilty and sentenced to be beheaded.
Anon-e-moose, @Pharaoh Bastethotep and many other Fstdt users were there and watched as he was sent to the scaffold.
“I forgive everyone. I die the king’s good servant and am ready to meet the king of kings in paradise.”
Pharaoh Bastethotep suddenly felt guilty for this plan. He hated Jacob Harrison for being part of the inner circle of an authoritarian regime, but Jacob showed himself to be truly loyal. Having a loyal servant branded a traitor and executed for a crime he didn’t commit seemed like an unjustifiable means.
As the executioner was just about to chop of Jacob’s head, Pharaoh Bastethotep said “Wait! Check the emails of this guy” he said pointing to Moose. Jacob was framed!”
Anon-e-moose then attacked Pharaoh Bastethotep, tackling him to the ground.
“Traitor!” shouted Moose.
“Hey!” said a knight as they started running at them.
“We have to run!” said @SpukiKitty
Moose then realized the Knights were after them so he started running along with the rest.
“So we will now do an email investigation of that guy which might somehow exonerate you,” a knight said to Jacob.
“Thank you.”
Moose, SpukiKitty, and other Fstdt users ran into a corner.
“I have an ouija board in my bag! We can summon a master of the ancient wisdom to defend us!”
“That is new age bullshit!” said Moose.
“We don’t have a choice. Trust me you unenlightened inferior being!”
She then took out the ouija board and she and Moose put their fingertips on the planchette.
“Is their someone here?” asked Spuki Kitty
The planchette moved to “Yes”
“Are you a master of the ancient wisdom?”
The planchette stayed on yes.
“Well we ask you to come here and help us from these Knights”
Suddenly, a moose appeared.
“This must be your guardian angel”, SpukiKitty said to Moose.
The moose then charged at Anon-e-moose, tackled him, pulled down his pants, and raped him. After that, the moose began to feast on him.
The knights showed up. The moose noticed and disappeared. But Anon-e-moose was dead.
“I summoned a demon taking the form of a moose! I repent and accept you Jesus Christ as my lord and savior!” SpukiKitty cried out. The other Fstdt users at the scene repented as well. They confessed to being part of conspiracy. Patrick Scrivener realized that since the plan failed, it was not God’s plan after all so he repented as well.
After the Fstdt users involved in the conspiracy and Patrick Scrivener were executed, they went to purgatory to do penance for all their sins before they could be admitted to heaven.
But since Anon-e-moose died without repenting, he was cast into the fires of hell.
