Others came forward and partook in the choreographed weeping – Republicans and Democrats, Baptists and atheists – in between the testimonials from sons of homosexuals who assured the committee that they were perfectly happy being deprived of their biological dads or moms, or not even knowing who those dads and moms were. We even got a less famous version of Zach Wahls; from the plains of Minnesota comes the trim white suburban boy conceived through sperm-banking, to say his lesbian moms raised him so well that he turned out heterosexual, a varsity letterman, gorgeous, and articulate.

He is so successful that now nobody will sympathize with him if one day he wakes up, decides a terrible wrong has been done to him, and wants to know who his father is. The poor chap got swindled by his own moms.

We heard about horrible bullies committing all these mythical crimes against helpless gay people:

Stiffing lesbian waitresses on tips because they hate their lifestyle.
Barring a lesbian mom from visiting her lover in the emergency room because they’re gay.
Spray-painting “Kill the Gay” on lesbians’ garages.
Putting on ski masks, breaking into a lesbian’s house, vandalizing her rooms, and carving slurs into her naked body.
Luring gay boys out of Montana bars with an offer of cigarettes, calling them “f-----s,” and beating them to a pulp.
Slipping hate letters under the door of lesbian college students.
Burning gay men’s hands with hot metals.
Jumping a gay man en masse, calling him names, and beating him to a pulp.
Spray-painting “Hey Tranny, know your place” inside Vassar dormitories.
Posting homophobic messages so prolifically at Oberlin College that the whole school had to shut down.
All of these stories, it turns out, were completely fabricated. And this is a trimmed down list, believe me – the anti-gay hate crime hoaxes are astonishing in their volume and premeditation. This is not a coincidence. There’s too much consistency in the fabrications and what the fabricators are trying to do.