I don't fully understand the point Gender Critical(aka TERFs in some circles) seem to be making, but one aspect which has stuck with me is the idea of abolishing gender completely. Biological sex is a real thing and our society, for better or for worse, establishes strict and starkly different expectations depending on one's sex. This is how I understand gender. The idea of "abolishing" gender would try and get rid of this assumed default correlation altogether.

But the correlation is there. The only thing wrong with it is the enforcement. Noticing that certain traits seems to cluster to each sex should not be the same as saying that those sexes MUST exhibit those traits. We should exist in a state of "typically, you'll exhibit these traits. Not all of them, and sometimes not even many of them. And that's fine too. They're trends, not rules."

"Abolishing gender" is too close to attempting to studiously ignore reality for me. These things do correlate a lot of the time, and to deny that is just wilful ignorance. But we should be more open to the idea that this pattern is not absolute and there will be exceptions.

Having the fluidity within society to just become an effeminate man seems at least to me to be far more desirable than getting stuck in this rubric where a full binary transformation is the only solution.

TRAs impede this as well. Look up how many of their are virulently, viciously against femboys and traps. Part of this is, I suspect, simple jealousy. But some of it is ideological, leading to the "egg" rhetoric or the "pinkpill" stuff, where every feminine male is a trans female in denial and they must be shown the light and made to take the hormones.