UltraCatholicAngloAmerican aka Jacob Harrison #wingnut #fundie #psycho fandom-fanon.fandom.com

(Jacob Harrison’s description of alternate universe Britain (and presumably the rest of Western Europe and the Anglosphere) under the rule of Emperor Gary Stu Michael Cooper.)

[…]

Social Politics

The English are allowed to celebrate their victories against the French during the noble phase of the Hundred Years War in the 1300s but not the bad Lancastrian phase in the 1400s when God chose Joan of Arc. God chose Joan of Arc to save France because the vacancy of the English throne after the overthrow of Richard II made their claims to the French throne vacant.

The Church of England was rejoined with the Catholic Church. But the Catholic Church forbids forcing people to convert to Catholicism so people have freedom to practice their own religion or lack of religion. The only religions that are not tolerated are Satanism for being Satanic and Jehovah’s Witnesses for being unpatriotic. Any form of paganism that involves witchcraft, divination, ouija boards, and psychic mediums are put in the Satanism category.

For Catholics, divorce is distinguished from annulment. Legal separation is allowed in cases of abuse and other things, but unless an annulment is granted, divorced couples are not allowed to get remarried because the spouse they legally separated from is still their valid spouse until death.

Islamic Extremist misogynistic clothing such as the niquab and the Burkini are banned.

When Muslims and Jews do their animal slaughter, it must be done humanely so that the animal doesn't feel pain. Therefore, it is required that the animal is stunned and unconscious before being cut.

Abortion is illegal

Homosexual relations is legal since the monarchs Richard I, Edward II, and Richard II were bisexual. However, homosexuals are kindly encouraged to confess their sins to priests like those monarchs did. It is required to be kept in private locations like it was in Medieval England. Therefore, no cross dressing or kissing in public. Only heterosexual couples can adopt children.

Since prostitution and brothels were legal during the time when the legitimate monarchs ruled England, it is legal with regulations to ensure that the sex is consensual.

The press is tightly regulated to ensure that it is loyal to the government.

It is legally required for people to stand for the national anthems of their countries within the Empire at sporting events.

The Education System

The state education system is required to teach Catholicism, patriotism, and Europe’s glorious history in addition to other necessary topics. Every morning, it is required for students and faculty to stand and say a pledge of allegiance to their country within the Empire.

[…]

The Justice System

The justice system is based on common law. Defendants have a right to a jury and a lawyer and are presumed innocent until proven guilty.

Disrespecting the Holy Roman Emperor and monarch of the country within the Empire is punished by a yearly jail sentence. So is disrespecting a previous monarch on the good monarchs list.

Blasphemy is punished with fines.

The death penalty was restored throughout the Empire for mass murderers, child molesters, and those who commit high treason (trying to overthrow the government). Traitors are publicly beheaded and their heads are put on pikes and publicly displayed for a while.

Enhanced interrogation techniques are permitted as a means of interrogating criminals, rebels, and terrorists to force them to reveal important information.

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Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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