checkmate

@checkmate

Lawrence C Makin Snr #conspiracy #wingnut

… After the terrorist act of insurgence against the United States, Robert E. Lee, the ring leader, was arrested, tried, and ultimately executed by letting the widow of a Union soldier cut out his heart with a rusty knife. His stinking carcass was then hung above the entrance to the US Capitol building until it rotted away. The last remains were fed to pigs. …

See? I can do it too. It's not really very hard.

David J. Stewart #fundie #pratt

Their lame excuse was that allowing the Word of God tramples upon and violates the rights of atheists and non-religious children.

Right!

And I think religious scripture should be allowed again. NO, it should be mandatory. Let’s start with the Koran. Make it a mandatory reading in all schools and start everyday in school with “la ilaha illa Allah …”. But allow the “Lord's Prayer” on Wednesdays.

The Babylon Bee #fundie

Sen. Ted Cruz #conspiracy #ufo

Ok, spy satellites and a number of other satellites are in low earth orbit (~300km), but do these people realize that geostationary satellites, which make up the bulk of commercially used satellites, are 35,000 km (= ~22,000 miles) above the earth? That’s a 10% of the way to the moon. To maintain a stable geostationary orbit they have to be that high. Somehow I don’t envision space pirates searching out tiny little specks in space to make bounty.

zachthemac #quack

David J. Stewart #sexist #fundie #conspiracy

a two-bit whore like Taylor Swift.

If she is a whore, I expect she’s slightly more expensive.

the video has already received 651,879,685 views

And I bet you count for about 300,000,000 of those views.

Am I the only one who notices how filthy, wicked and sick this woman really is?

Honestly? Yes, I think you are the only one.

David J. Stewart #sexist #fundie

How does Brother David get through daily life? I mean, this posting from him alone; it’s so far removed from reality. How can he walk down the street? Doesn’t he see how 99,99999999% of the population lives? Does he really think all the women he sees everyday, all of them, are whores? I can’t imagine any of the women he sees on a normal day match his expectations. Can’t he grasp normality? How can he exist?

Star Trek Theory #racist

veuvo [sic!] riche Black family

Right! A rich black family has to be nouveau riche because, as everybody knows, blacks are all poor, uneducated, violent, drug dealers, slummers, and pimps who pick up their welfare checks in their Mercedes Benz.

Brian Niemeier #fundie

Consider: The First Amendment is why we can't stone these witches as they deserve.

Look at it from their point of view. Perhaps the First Amendment is why they can't stone you as you deserve.

David J. Stewart #fundie

privily (secretly)

Ah yes, the KJV is the sacred word of God you demand everybody should use, yet you have to explain even the simplest words because you’re afraid people won’t understand it properly.

What you have done is to give us an “easy to read” version, “secretly” instead if “privily”. Oh, wait, “easy to read,” I thought “easy to read” versions of the Bible were Satanic. Oh my God, you’ve given us a Satanic reading! Heaven help us all!!

Oh, and by the way, when I step in dog shit and somebody tells me that my shoe smells like dog shit, I’m not offended. I go home and clean my shoe. Why don’t you do the same instead of bitching about how the world is out to get you?

Wulfram #homophobia

Most people who "support" gays are actually opposed to it underneath, but dare not say anything for fear of being accused of ignorance, a typical leftist ploy.

No, but most people who claim to be Christians don’t actually believe any of it inside, but dare not say anything for fear of being accused of ignorance ad being called horrible names by other people, who themselves don’t really believe either.

David J. Stewart #conspiracy #fundie

The Washington Monument … is 555.5 feet … the occult Washington Monument … which stands 666 feet tall

Oh, my faith is strong. I believe. There is no contradiction.

The word 'obelisk' literally means 'Baal's Shaft'

Oh, that's rich. Yes, somebody’s giving you the shaft, but it isn’t Ba`al.

freemasonry tightly grips control and reigns supreme over … our highest courts

Almost all Freemasons are protestants. The SCOTUS presently has six Roman Catholics* and three Jews on the bench. Not exactly your average Freemasons.

*One former, now Episcopalian = Catholic light

KidknappedHerRaptor #sexist

Brittney Kara #fundie #quack

The Bible doesn’t mention guns, yet you think it’s a divine right to own and bear them.

Hmm, the Bible does mention swords. So why don’t you restrict yourself to biblical swords?

In a way the Bible does mention vaccines. Isn’t Jesus more or less supposed to be our vaccination against death? Isn’t christianity intended as one huge vaccine?

Kingston Tong, Graduated from seminary, preaching and teaching the Bible #fundie,

he appeared … he appeared … he appeared … he appeared

Ok, so does the Ghost of Christmas Past, but where did he spend the nights? Where and what did he eat? Did he just appear and then disappear again shortly afterwards? How did he travel? Sounds more like a ghost than a person who had been raised from the dead.

Somehow the story doesn’t add up.

Unnamed Pruchnik Easter celebrants #racist #fundie

a life-size effigy of a stereotypical Jew with a hooked nose and sidelocks

Ehh, and how is Jesus depicted? Like a stereotypical Jew with a hooked nose and sidelocks? No, probably not.

Lighter_Sheepherder #sexist

I[‘]m currently at an airport … and i[‘]ve seen no less than 20 whores in yoga pants in this terminal lobby alone

Smart women. Yoga pants are certainly the most comfortable thing one can wear on a plane. Very practical.

David J. Stewart #fundie #sexist

You are a fool if you think that grown men don't have sexual desires for those young girls.

Fuck you. The last thing I have sexual desires for is an 8-9 year old girl. You’re rationalizing, you fucking paedophile. If you really think that “such a man is not a pedophile”, then you should go have your balls cut off, you sick bastard.

WhenISayNYouSayIgger #racist

The woman in question has insisted time and time again that she was one part of a large team numbering ca. 200 people. Yes, she had a major part in writing the software which coordinated the various signals which constructed the image and yes, she’s obviously super smart. She didn’t prove anything and she didn’t do it “all by herself”.

That being said, my nerdy side says she’s totally hot. Very, very yummy. :-)

David J. Stewart #fundie #sexist #psycho

utter doom of Babylon (which is very clearly the United States)

No, absolutely not, The Bible is to be taken literally. Babylon is very clearly Babylon. How dare you question the word of the Bible!

Hell will be hot enough!

Perhaps, but for whom? I happen to know that all of the women who dress like sluts and whores have accepted Jesus as their personal savior and are therefore irrevocably reborn and saved. Their apparel is therefore irrelevant. Saved is saved.

Prove I’m wrong.

Unnamed University of Lorraine second-year sociology students and "Oh djadja" private chat #racist

They clearly showed that they didn’t want to sit with us.

It’s shameful actions like these which have Jacob Rees-Mogg thinking that remaining in the EU might be a good idea after all. He could be closer to his European counterparts in nationalistic hate. On the other hand he’d probably disagree with these French bastards about who is actually the master race. In his view the English of course. (NB: the English, not the British)

Rep. Jonathan Stickland #wingnut #quack #conspiracy

a doctor concerned about the child’s vulnerability to disease is a “brainwashed commie” and that a defender of science is a “typical leftist trying to take credit for something only The Lord God Almighty is in control of.

Yeah? Well, wait until his son or daughter has a ruptured appendix and The Lord God Almighty is taking a prolonged lunch break instead of performing healing miracles. He’ll be kissing the “brainwashed commies” asses to have them utilize their evil medical science and show concern for the child.

David J. Stewart #sexist #fundie #racist

One grossly obese assistant pastor

Well, according to the (redone) Harvest Baptist Church website, good ‘ol “let's have some more cake” is no longer at the Harvest Baptist Church.

The present leadership is made up of slimy fundies who don’t tuck their shirts in:

https://hbcguam.org/about/leadership/

Well then let them learn to speak fluent English!

NO!

Then let them, and all Christians, learn to speak fluent Ancient Greek! Fuck, the original isn’t in English. What a lazy hypocrite Brother David is. Why doesn’t he learn Greek so he can read his God’s words in the original? Well, ok, Jesus spoke Aramaic, but he certainly understood Koiné Greek and spoke it from time to time.

Chechar #fundie #wingnut #sexist

Pride & Prejudice

Since it’s boring as all hell, I never watched it, but I do have to admit: Keira Knightley gives me the hots. :-)

David J. Stewart #conspiracy #fundie

The occult powers behind the scenes leave me alone is because I am just a small, obscure, voice.

No, it’s because your just another delusional crackpot nutjob on the internet like so many others. Yes, you have a special flavor of crazy, but so do others. Face it David, nobody gives a shit about you and your “ministries” are worthless. You’re not saving anybody. You are, however, providing me and a few others with great entertainment.

We’re not laughing with you, David, we’re laughing at you.

David J. Stewart #fundie

all drunk drivers who murder innocent victims, ought to receive the gas chamber!

While I oppose the death penalty in any and all cases, I agree that drunk drivers should receive radically harsher penalties than presently given. That would include mandatory life-long revocation of the driver’s license for any offense including alcohol and 1 year in prison for every 0,1% blood alcohol content above zero, meaning a 1,2% blood alcohol content would get you at least 12 years in prison, plus additional charges for further circumstances of the offense.

Now, as far as Brother David is concerned, for his molestation of a child, perhaps a sort of eye-for-an-eye punishment, so-called ius talionis, would be appropriate. Perhaps daily treatment with a huge dildo up his ass.

Patriotic Black dude #fundie

I nominate this goofy bullshit for the “Sigmund Freud Revisited” award.

Steven R, “Mike Pence” #fundie

Ryo_Hazuki #sexist

Men are biologically hardwired to attempt to fight, mog, kill, compete with, and assert dominance over other males.

I’m beginning to understand why Trump won the election. Apparently all men are Southern rednecks.

Let me see, I’ll have to practice: “ok y’all, gimme annoder Bud lite.”

Chechar #fundie #wingnut #sexist

Women belong to us; not to themselves.

Well, let’s say my feminine side, minute as it may be, belongs to me. Otherwise, no.

Brian Niemeier #fundie

Stirling Newberry #homophobia

Huh?

First, wtf is Greypony? Is anybody supposed to know that?

Second, wow, what a jerk. Sailors are gay and fantasies of sex in a way it would never happen.

Boy, somebody’s spending waaaaay too much time on the computer. Go out and play.

Ann Barnhardt, Barnhardt #fundie

Conditional Baptism

Well, it’s obvious that men should baptize their sperm and women their eggs in advance in corpore, just in case. That way every possible fetus is saved.

It’s magic!

Homeowner told “Your interracial family isn’t welcomed here” #racist

Let me guess: “I’m not a racist, but …”

The owners of your home … was a dire mistake.

Hmm, maybe the “older neighborhood with established residents” should require an English test, which the author of the letter would obviously fail. If you can’t even keep the subject of your sentence clear in your head until the verb comes along, perhaps you too “cannot possibly afford a home” in that area.

This reminds me of an interview with Miles Davis I once heard who, while driving his Ferrari, was stopped by a California patrolman who asked him “if it was his car”. Davis replied “do you think I stole my master’s car, mister, sir?”

Genesis II Church of Health and Healing #quack #fundie

I remember hearing about this in Germany a few years ago. Some dangerous quack named Jim Humble. As I remember, the authorities were apparently tiptoeing around it, not knowing who was responsible. I have no idea what became of it.

Article in Der Spiegel (in German)

David J. Stewart #fundie #homophobia #sexist

Every New Testament Bible-believing church needs to boot …

7 times.

I wonder if Brother David sings that as a Hawaiian style song to his steel guitar. Put a lay-down rhythm to it, an “aloha” or two, and swing your hips gently while listening to the ocean waves. … “Every New Testament … [strum, strum], aloha heh …”

Robert Escandon, B.A. Philosophy & Psychology, The University of Texas at El Paso (2005), #fundie

TOTAL BULLSHIT.

The Bible mentions the sacrifice of children and fire in connection with the Canaanites, along with a number of other “bad” things, mainly in restrospect as a justification for attacking and killing them. The prophet Jeremiah also complains that the Israelites copied this practice. Go figure.

There is, however, no real evidence that this ever happened. It’s probably just propoganda mixed with a misunderstanding of rituals which included burning meat for the god.

The description of the method offered by our Texan(!) with a mere master’s degree is a huge lie. Where did he come up with this? Is Texas planning to use this method for its rampant, mass use of capital punishment? The oh so Christian way of regulating society?

Gail #fundie

Rabbi Eliezer Kashtiel and Rabbi Giora Redler #racist #psycho #wingnut #fundie

David J. Stewart #fundie

Lemmingwise #wingnut #homophobia

The expansion of free speech to also cover obscenity, porn and sex is a relatively new idea, first defended by hustler magazine.

Nope.

Google “Supreme Court movie day”. That was 50 years ago.

Usagicho #psycho

David J. Stewart #fundie #conspiracy

Historical evidence shows that the Jewish Holocaust was orchestrated by the Luciferian elite to create a pretext for invading Palestine

Woah! On top of everything else, Brother David’s also a Holocaust denier.

Since he’s in the Pacific anyway, can’t he just find one of those tiny deserted islands, create the New Jerusalem, and live happily ever after in his own world of crazy?

czakal #sexist #homophobia #racist

Natural News #quack

fosforsvenne #wingnut

Pomidor Quixote and Mr Justice Hayden #sexist #wingnut

Before we all go bashing away at the husband, I looked up the case, and apparently the order was being sought at a protection hearing brought by the Protective Services and as quoted in the OP, the husband had been willing to comply ahead of time, in writing, even without a court ruling.