checkmate

@checkmate

GuineaIncel #sexist

I constantly get phone calls from Victoria’s Secret supermodels craving for hot sex with me. For some dumb reason, however, the calls always seem to come when my phone’s turned off or I don’t have a signal, so I never get them.

Bummer.

David J. Stewart #fundie

Cave canem!

The Catholic church attracts its audience with colorful liturgy which can be performed by even the most boring of priests. Baptists tend to go for theatrical pastors who prance around on their stage. Apparently Furtick prances about with the best of them. Remember, it’s not the message that counts, it’s how you present it. So be hip and cool.

mayoung10 #racist

Asians hate themselves and worship whites.

This explains a lot. Wherever I go, I have this group of tiny slitty-eyed yellow people following me around, bowing down and constantly trying to kiss my feet. Now I understand why. Thank you.

Elon Musk #conspiracy

Heribert Illig, Nikol Ertman #conspiracy #crackpot

A simple truth known very well by historians is that, yes, there are many forgeries from the Middle Ages. These are almost exclusively documents granting privileges and land rights to nobles. When disputes arose about who had the right to take money from whom for what, claiming tradition wasn’t enough. Sometimes a noble family would have to prove their land rights, usually granted by the emporer. If the original document was lost or never existed, a forgery was produced. There are a lot of them.

Illig used mainly these forgeries to come up with his theory. What he chose to ignore was that there are also very well established genuine documents from the times he disputes.

This is an old conspiracy theory, based on a total misconception of documents. It’s been convincingly debunked by dendrology. The guy who started it, Illig, is a total nutjob. I’ve seen interviews with him. Completely off his rocker.

It’s about as stupid and along the same logic as the guy who claimed some of J. S. Bach’s best works were actually composed by his second wife, simply because the only surviving manuscripts were copies made by her. It’s a well know fact that the whole family copied orchestra and choral parts to save money for a copiest.

David J. Stewart #fundie

This is the only Biblical conclusion that does justice to all Scriptures.

Yes, you can bend and twist and shove a round peg in a square hole. Or can just say Jesus is God and can therefore do whatever the fuck he wants and always get it right.

I believe Hell is located down under the earth, in the molten parts of the planet.

Hahahahahahahahaha. Right! And Jules Verne went there and brought back pictures.

Ok, it’s settled. David J. Stewart is not only a nutjob, hateful, racist fundie, he’s also a blooming idiot.

Rod Pickens & followers, Youtube #fundie

Fr. Chad Ripperger #fundie

Protrident, Fr. Chad Ripperger #fundie

Bill P #wingnut #racist

I strongly suspect that MLK was indeed handled by the KGB

Yes he was! And Billy Graham was his handling agent. Graham reported to J. Edgar Hoover who in turn reported directly to Brezhnev. Brezhnev then got his orders from the Pope. It was so fun back then.

David J. Stewart #fundie #homophobia #sexist #conspiracy

David J. Stewart #fundie #dunning-kruger

5. SEE ALSO …
6. REFERENCES …
7. EXTERNAL LINKS …

All chiding and humor aside, this actually fits in well with the fundie mindset: these are very often people who take everything over-the-top seriously, unable to grasp irony, humor, allusion, or wit, or even structure. Granted, this is an extreme, but we’ve all experienced this in real life, individuals who take things literally while everybody else immediately sees the real meaning.

I know someone who falls for every fake video on the net, even the glaringly obvious ones, and who gets horribly upset when the videos are debunked and even continues to defend their authenticity as if he alone is “in the know”. Needless to say, he’s a fundie and Trump fan. Go figure.

I think this is where Stewart fits in, especially with his KJV-Only stand. His complete inability to understand, analyze, and differentiate. For him, wikipedia and its structure is probably Satanic anyway.

Dave Blount #racist

Needless to say, the story has not received much press.

Right, because it didn’t happen.

Snopes debunking

And whatever happened to the good old days of whites lynching blacks and mass extermination of Native Americans by righteous christian white folk?

laidnyc #god-complex #sexist #elitist #racist #ableist

Hmm, let me paraphrase: “I’ve never spoken to a girl my age but I know everything about them from the internet. They’re just like the games I play all day on my computer: hit the right buttons and they react exactly as planned. Somebody told me you can actually speak with a woman like a normal human being, but I don’t know what that means, so it must be bullshit.”

James Gregory #racist

David J. Stewart #fundie

JB4three #sexist

Ok, I have absolutely no idea, but let’s guess there are about 10,000 porn videos on the net. Aww, let’s say 50,000. And I may be way off, in either direction.

The world’s population is roughly 7.7 billion now, about half women. So even if each of the postulated 50,000 videos had a different woman in it, that would still be only about 0.0013% of all women. Ok, lets count out grannies and kids and double that. That’s still a whopping 0,0026% of the women who come in question, age wise.

I’m assuming JB4three was thinking more along the lines of 10%. So his chances of seeing one of his porn stars on the street (if he ever goes out, that is) are pretty slim.

Andrea Hardie aka Janet Bloomfield aka JudgyBitch #sexist

afrovegan #sexist #quack

One Angry Gamer #conspiracy #sexist

David J. Stewart #fundie #psycho

Americans have finally had enough and are now starting to murder those judges and their families!!! … the average person today couldn't care less about such awful sins

Huh? If the average person today couldn't care less about such awful sins, why on earth are they murdering judges and their families? And what are they losing because of judges? If anything, judges are protecting Americans from Trump.

ETA: I checked the original. It’s from June 2015 and refers to judges approving real estate foreclosures. The segue to sinful society is his normal rambling.

Some commenters #racist

Whatever happened to issues and the economy?

Maybe it’s time to do elections like The Dating Game: put the candidates behind a curtain, call them “#1”, “#2”, and “#3”, and ask them questions.

Sub-Sero #fundie #conspiracy

Many cannibals have described the similarity between eating pig and eating humans.

And what do they say about eating monkeys?

David J. Stewart #fundie #sexist

Women who pursue careers over homemaking are God's enemies

Right!

As we all know, only middle and upper class women can be good christians. Families that are dependent on a double income to survive are destined for Hell.

Mark Taylor #fundie

577AllWell #conspiracy #racist

Bully Boys #racist #psycho

let's do it again!

And these are the same people who deny the Holocaust?

Incel Wiki #sexist

21st century women have started a trend whereby they have weaponized the vagina

Hahahahaha, 21st century? Hahahha.

They’ve been doing that since Adam and Eve.

There’s an old saying: men spend the first nine months of their life trying to get out and the rest of their life trying to get back in.

Incel Wiki #conspiracy

Ok, this is going to be a horrible pun, but I thought “looking bad” was one of the basic elements of being an incel.

Twelve unnamed ICES Vendée Catholic University students #homophobia

David J. Stewart #fundie #sexist

She saw me, knowing I am a preacher, and fled like she saw Jesus Christ Himself

Uh uh, more like: She saw me, knowing I'm a complete asshole, and fled like she saw Jack the Ripper himself.

I saw her desirable thighs, which I'm still praying for God to remove from my mind.

Have you ever thought that maybe God is testing your faith and she’s just one of his instruments? You often compare yourself with Job. Well, maybe that’s your test and not all that other stuff you constantly bitch about.

Matthew Archbold #fundie

Concerned-father2 #sexist #racist

EmmaRoseheart #moonbat

Worldbuilding is at best reactionary intellectual masturbation, and at worst (which its often at its worst) purposeful fascist propaganda.

Interesting interpretation of Genesis 1.

Monarchieliga #wingnut #fundie

@Bastethotep

This does not make sense (or at least I could not make any of it) in the original German, either. How can prayers, i.e. something that is not a material good, become part of an (in this context, specifically material) treasure?

Die geleisteten Gebete gehen in den Kirchenschatz über.

I think they’re talking about the modern form of “Ablaß”/”Ablaßhandel”, which still exists in the Catholic church. You can donate a certain, usually small amount, to have a cleric include your privite intentions in his official prayers, be it a mass, the Office, or whatever. In German one would say “eine Messe lesen lassen”. This is usually done for someone elses benefit, not your own. The whole list of crap shows that these people don’t really know very much about the church, just a few headlines. Thus the false use of prayer/Gebet.

The German King

This can’t be a restoration. There never was, at anytime, a “ the German King.”

Magdeburg Cathedral

Oh, so you’re an Ottonian?

Listen, if you want it to work, use the Basilica in Worms. That’s where the true tradition lies. Not for coronations, but for the true roots.

Quiz: Who is the Primas Germaniae? I bet the Monarchieliga doesn’t know.

(A: the Archbishop of Salzburg, in Austria, not Germany)

Monarchieliga #wingnut #fundie

die breite Masse die Reichen durch die Macht Ihrer Überzahl unterdrückt.

Nur, dass es in Wirklichkeit genau andersrum ist.

Except that in reality it’s the other way around.

Frankreich als Republik wäre das Ende des monarchischen Europas

Zumindest damit behielt er Recht.

He got that part right at least.

Joshua McAdams and Taylor Bland-Ball #quack

The parents then looked into alternative treatments, including medical-grade cannabis, vitamins, and a strict diet.

Rumor has it they also had Gomez Addams call in Doctor Bombay.

David J. Stewart #fundie #conspiracy

unless parents can afford private school (which most cannot)

If this is really such a serious issue, then why don’t churches provide schooling for FREE? If they want to save souls, begin at the bottom.

Freemasons should all be tried in a legitimate court (one not controlled by them), convicted and immediately hung until dead! … Freemasons are traitors to God

Well, then let God come down and sit on on the bench and pass earthly judgement. The bar exam shouldn’t be much of a problem for him. Or her?

The_Truth_Hurts #fundie

So my “personality” is therefore my religious state? And when I say “that’s personal”, it relates to God? And my “personal belongings” are my rosary beads?

Take-The-Honk-Pill #racist #wingnut

camletoejoe #conspiracy #wingnut

Take a look at the homeless. All men. Real USA loving God loving men. Vote Republican. All over the place. And they are getting killed on the streets left and right every single day

Huh?

I don’t think even Trump would believe that. Not at first, at least.

Sepean #sexist

In other words, be a complete fucking asshole. Oh, and be prepared to be left alone.

David J, Stewart #fundie #homophobia #transphobia #conspiracy

The true sinister agenda of demons and Satan is to DESTROY everything that God has made!!! They are the enemies of God

Right!

The almighty, omniscient, ubiquitous God, the creator of all that is, is so weak and defenseless. That bully Satan is always picking on him. Give God some power prayer to keep him going! Amen.

homosexual same sex marriage

God especially loves tautologies.

Ruthless #racist #sexist

These stupid bitches won a contest … These retarded blacks

If it’s all so easy, then why didn’t your genetically superior lily-white blond, blue eyed girls win hands down?

Judge Jim Lammey #racist #conspiracy

He was elected to office in 2006 and re-elected to serve an eight-year term in 2014.

Tennessee? No problem, he’ll get elected again for another term, probably by many more votes than the last time. If not, he can go to Alabama or Mississippi and get elected for life almost unanimously.

Brian Niemeier #fundie

Brian Niemeier #wingnut #sexist

Actually, it was 1620. That was when a gr0up of religious fanatics decided to run away in the name of Jesus instead of dealing with their situation. They spread their intolerance and oppression as best they could. It was downhill from there.

church mouse guy #fundie

There is trouble with Egyptian dating

Yes and no. Do you mean what the Egyptians wrote themselves or what generations of egyptologists have proven?

True, in their inscriptions the pharaos were compulsive liars, but that’s why modern scholars don’t take it all as written. You should do the same with your Bible.