Adolescence was for me as everyone an awkward age. Not quite grown up but flying towards it. The fear remained but I could no longer run to adults for comfort and protection. I was developing feelings about my sexuality but most of the time I was still a child. To the grays I was of reproductive age and of use to them.

Teen years are always turbulent and mine were as well, but the added hidden dimension was ever present. Odd occurrences were the norm for me. I worked hard at school, but nights were unpredictable. I tried in my own way to create a sense of safety. In my teen years I found that alcohol often quickly obliterated my fear. This would prove to be a destructive pattern for my later years. It was during these years of change that I began feel that I was leading a double life-being a young teen by day, and a reproductive age female when I was abducted.

As I got older I began to rely on alcohol at night to ease the fear I always felt after dark. In my teen years I was not abducted as frequently as in adulthood but still enough to maintain that gnawing fear of being taken.