[From “The 5 stages of MAP Grief”]
Denial: “No I’m not a MAP”
Anger: (Overcompensating) “Those fucking horrible pedophiles!!”
Bargaining: “Ok I’m a MAP, but I’m the only good one”
Depression: “Everyone hates me. I hate my life”
Acceptance: “I’m a MAP, and it’s a normal orientation”
[From “This is My Ministry”]
I joined the MAP community as a young, naive, teen. I was hopelessly in love with little girls and the prospect of a lifetime of loneliness seemed inevitable and devastating. I had radical ideas of legalizing relationships between adults and tween girls and looked for ways to be able to spend time with them. (Though I soon realized these types of relationships aren’t feasible.) I knew nothing about this orientation, and I hated the idea that I was a pedophile, and went through the 5 Stages of MAP Grief
Over the years, I’ve met a lot of people who have guided me, and inspired me to reflect philosophically on minor-attraction. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and about human nature. I’ve had many MAPs confide in me for comfort and advice. And I don’t know how I do it; I’m hardly a great communicator. But the right words just always seem to come to me. And every time I help another MAP, I’m so fulfilled. I finally found my purpose in life. I’m still on this MAP journey, myself. Still learning. I believe I can take this experience, and use it for good in this world. The MAP community is where I belong. And helping people with this orientation is my ministry
The girl I love. I fell in love with her when I was 25, and she was 12. I had no bad intentions, and didn’t act sexually with her. I just loved her. She was my companion, my friend, and she had a puppy love crush on me. How could I resist? She was beautiful, and sweet, and she reciprocated that attraction.
We hung out a handful of times. Went swimming, chased each other around, cuddle up and listened to music, and just talked.
I wanted to marry her. I wanted to be with her all the time. She meant the world to me.
I had to leave, and we lost contact for 3 years. When I came back we got in contact again. Now she only sees me as a friend. That was always in the back of my mind. If you love her you gotta let her go.
She turns 18 in a few days. It just makes me cry that my little girlfriend is no longer little. She’s lost her innocence. She’s lost her magic. And I’m no longer the one who brightens her day. No longer her companion. It hurts so bad.