You’re in a conversation and someone says, “It doesn’t matter if we get married, all that matters is that we live together and love each other.” What would you say?

In recent decades, the marriage rate has plummeted, but at the same time, the rate of cohabitation—couples living together long-term without getting married—has spiked. According to a 2019 Pew Research study, more Americans have cohabitated at some point than have been married.

Most people don’t see any problem with that. For example, about three-quarters of high school seniors think that cohabitation is a good testing ground for marriage.

But it’s not. Cohabitation is fundamentally different from marriage, and sets couples up for relationship failure.

So, the next time someone says, “It doesn’t matter if we get married, all that matters is that we live together and love each other,” remember these three things:

Number 1: Cohabitation doesn’t confer the same benefits as marriage.
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Number 2: Cohabitation hurts your chances of ever ending up in a stable marriage.
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Number 3: Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It’s God’s design.