Myles/Margot Lewis. Robert/Robin Westman. Tyler Robinson. These names have taken me to the keyboard and brought me to my knees. News of their actions has pierced my heart in ways I’m still searching to describe. And I’m not alone.

We’ve heard much about ROGD (Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria), especially in girls and in large part due to Abigail Shrier’s book, Irreversible Damage. But less has been written about the boys. We’ve seen drag queens and images of demented looking men, but the parents of many trans-identified kids have a different perspective. After our son came out in 2014, it soon became obvious there was a common thread in these boys.

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I must not fail to mention, some of these kids have been abused. Sometimes by the very people who were supposed to be protecting them. It is not a stretch for them to claim a trans identity and seek these communities as an escape and a place of safety. Tragically, many of these kids fall into further abuse.

I’m not suggesting that our son or anyone else’s is desiring another’s death but we know they have already chosen death to themselves. We know because we dare not use their “dead name.” With our son’s 10-year absence, I know next to nothing. I can only draw conclusions from the growing number who have escaped this madness, trying to find their way back to reality as best they can with the damage done. And I’m not suggesting these young men all have the potential to be shooters, but often parents have no idea what they are capable of because of the unrecognizable changes that have taken place. And this worries us.

I know only God is able to fully rescue them but I share this in hopes that I can help prevent all the quirky, sensitive sons out there from becoming one of these lost boys.