(Context: Replying to a slightly less insane person talking about how they deal with addressing a trans relative)

But as my son's mother I just can't use his now legal woman name. Just can not do it. For me as his mother, who brought him into the world and devoted myself to his upbringing, it just hurts too much. Because I know why he changed his name. Its not a "stage name" or pseudonym for his profession. The only reason he changed his name is to present to others he is now a "woman". So for me to acknowledge the new legal name would be to acknowledge the metaphorical death of my son. But that's just me.