I think it's worse than that. Niceness is detrimental to selection. Our culture fetishizes rude behavior from men, sanewashed under the label "confidence". Many women will go as far as, e.g., refusing to kiss any man, and disqualify all but those who go ahead and kiss her despite her refusal. Then be surprised that "all men" (who qualify) will also break other boundaries.
(I've been off the market for decades and I'm theorizing on vibes. Hopefully I'm wrong)
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Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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