imageJoe Biden as Mr. Freeze. We know Joe wasn’t running the White House. Not with his frozen brain and perpetual ice age moments of “Uh…” In a pathetic attempt to sound sharp, he utters lines such as, “No joke!” and “Period.” He spews gaffes faster than the ice cream machine at Dairy Queen. “We finally beat medicare!” will go down in the Gaffe Hall of Fame. Mr. Freeze also thinks he can whip Batman, but first let’s see him defeat some stairs.

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Adam “Shifty” Schiff as the Riddler can spin a web of lies thicker than Gotham’s fog. “Q: When is a lie not a lie? A: When I tell one!” he quips, leaving puzzles that lead straight to impeachment hoaxes and Russia collusion capers. The Riddler’s enigmas are about to be solved—permanently—by a billionaire vigilante a determination to make bad guys accountable. Riddle me this, “Who has bug eyes and gray bars all over?” You guessed it.

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In true comic book fashion, Batman-Trump wins in the end. The villains are no match for his legal punches, and though they may swing wildly, none can knock down JD Vance in a debate. The Capitol dome looms in the background, a reminder that DC (both the city and the comics) is safer with the right heroes in charge. Look for the bat signal to appear in many more blue cities!