You don’t even eat Asian food, you lying cunts. Your diet consists mostly of white cum, kale, arugula, couscous, avgolemono, avocado toast, and whatever gay faggot food is in vogue at the time. Once in a blue moon you eat a California roll, thinking it’s real sushi and you’ve never been to an Asian country because there’s not enough white boys there for you to fuck. So shut the fuck up about being Asian.

You have my permission to not be Asian. Instead, you are noodlewhores who deserve everything that is done to actual noodles, like being cut into thin strips and cooked in a warm broth.

What authority do I have to say this? Probably none, but every Asian man is thinking this, not only me. This includes the presidents of China, Japan, and Korea. They just can’t say it publicly because there are too many noodlewhores who have the right to vote in those countries. Your ancestors are very disappointed in you and also fuck you and burn in the seventh sphere of hell.