“Many people have been asking me to comment on the Cincinnati Animal Prison's psychotic, knee-jerk decision to murder Harambe, the gorilla, after a child snuck into the primate enclosure.”
Is there a version of this where the well is NOT poisoned? Just curious.
“First, they should've thrown the parents into the enclosure ALIVE.”
Right, right, they’ve got the time to survey the crowd and find that child’s caretaker during the emergency.
"This would've intrigued and distracted Harambe, and in all likelihood he would've grabbed the parents and let the kid go.”
I don’t believe you can know this, or establish the likelihood in any substantial way.
“Then, maybe one of those heartless gawkers could've rescued the boy even though NONE of those 'humans-are-great, animals-don't-count-so-we-put-them-on-display-in-cages-as-a-form-of-entertainment, humans-are-the-kings-of-the-world' hypocrites jumped in to rescue the kid in the first place! WTF?”
Do you feel better, now? Your bile under control? Wanna take a moment, reread this, see if there’s anything else you want to throw onto this steaming pile?
“Once the kid was safe, the parents should've been shot in their heads, without harming the gorillas in any way.”
Yes, the zoo has that kind of authority.
“In case any dipshit is gonna claim my comment is racist because the parents are black, screw you.”
Never occurred to me.
“But to appease any irrational folks who scream racism at every turn without realizing that black people AND white people AND all other humans suck equally, shooting Jack Hanna and Ted Nugent in their heads instead would've been fine with me, especially if I was flown in to pull the trigger!”
So, lots of revenge fantasies, here. Raised Christain, I take it?
“Then, after the primates went to sleep for the night, the worthless human corpses should've been retrieved and served up to the lions for breakfast.”
Again, I really doubt the zoo has that kind of authority to make that decision.
My fantasies at the time of this tragedy were about much greater safety measures to prevent it, not to hammer everyone in the vicinity in revenge.
"Ya know, all that Circle of Life shit people love to espouse ad nauseum!”
Any indication that this kid’s parents ever espoused that?
“This plan of action would've SAVED Harambe and spared the lives of a few cows, pigs and chickens, too, who are always fed to the lions. Sounds like a win-win-win (kid, Harmabe, & hungry lions) for all involved!”
So, you’re going to save the kid by murdering his parents in front of him? And skipping teh actual ‘how do we save the kid from the gorilla’ step in your hurry to rack up the murders.
“Human lives are NOT more important than animal lives!”
Maybe. Who am I to judge?
However, Harambe’s family did not and could not sue the zoo. So the math in that respect is pretty straight forward.
"Besides fleas and ticks, humans possess the dubious distinction of being the only expendable creatures on this planet.”
Yes, yes, let the misanthropy flow through you! Soon, you’ll be throwing yourself into the lion’s exhibit.
"We bring nothing positive to the table as we are destroyers, attackers and takers. Our extinction would benefit the air, the water, the forests and the animals. But if bees or ants became extinct, the ecosystem would either collapse completely, or be devastated and altered dramatically. That's how important animals are to the planet, and how unimportant humans truly are!”
Curious how you determined that wiping out fleas and ticks won’t also have an effect on the biosphere.