Sadly, I can relate. For some of us–and I'm cis-female to the best of my knowledge–violence is a shot of endorphins. The world goes from super complicated to a simple yes/no binary decision tree, and it feels grand.
At the time.
Afterwards…
It's a bad addiction to feed. Like any addiction, you need fixes, closer together.
And so,you go from hitting some asshole who clearly needs it, self-defense, say, to looking for reasons that someone needs hit, to not really needing a reason, because it just feels so damn good.
And, yeah, a incel, who are they gonna end up targeting? Their philosophy has a built-in 'people who deserve violence category.’