I wish I had a time machine. I would teleport a small delegation of Ben Franklin, Tom Jefferson, and Button Gwinnett from their sweltering labors at Independence Hall — then known as the Pennsylvania state house — to a Drag Queen Story Hour hosted by Lil Miss Hot Mess (“The People’s Drag Queen”) reading from her best-selling book, The Hips on the Drag Queen Go Swish, Swish, Swish, to a roomful of six-year-old offspring birthed by America’s current Progressive ruling elite. Here, I would explain, is what it has come to.

Have today’s elites in our country, marinated in social justice and frantically signaling their goodness-and-virtue, gone perhaps a tad too far in their quest to liberate the populace from boundaries previously established for human behavior?
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This birthday of the republic we are on track to going medieval, or something that at least rhymes with it. I’m regretful as anyone to leave so much baggage behind, but frankly it’s been a long time since all the Fun, Fun, Fun was over and Daddy took the T-bird away. Daddy himself is gone, along with all representations of him. Donald Trump tried to play the role in a movie called The Years before Covid-19 but the critics savaged him. Anyone who dares to try to be Daddy in America now will be Me-tooed and J-Sixed to a fare-thee-well, we’ve been warned. In your New World Order of Bill Gates and the Schwabenklaus’s Great Re-set, we are all expected to be a hot mess (so the exterminations can proceed without resistance).

I, for one, refuse to comply with all that insolent wickedness and urge you to join with me in making something decent, honorable, and workable in the vast salvage yard that America will be when we expel the degenerate maniacs who broke it to pieces. You can, for instance, be a man. Or, another instance, be a woman. These binaries of human reproduction can produce new humans. A man, a woman, and children will comprise a family, a good start in rebuilding the organism called a society.