“The holidays are NOT the most wonderful time of the year for many of us PITT families.”
Good. Stupid choices should bring painful consequences.
“The Christmas hymn O Come All Ye Faithful beacons us to come joyful and triumphant. However, for parents, grandparents and siblings of trans-identified family members, there is no joy to be found and no triumph to be felt.”
That’s a choice you made. You could support your child or you can demand support for yourself and your bigotry.
“Instead of joy and peace, we experience sorrow and anxiety.”
Personal choice of yours.
“We find ourselves exhausted, disappointed and with no energy or desire to shop, cook or celebrate the holidays. Shopping for the child who’s declared that he/she is not our son/daughter feels as if the floor of the mall has become lava.”
Such drama.
I have actually been deployed underwater for every holiday at least once and at least one of everyone’s birthdays. And didn’t feel this put-upon.
“We tip-toe around, trying not to get burned. We look for neutral items which makes finding a present an impersonal and painful task.”
Well, there’s your problem. You’re supposed to buy presents they would want, not presents you feel they’re allowed to want. Just give them giftcards. Or give them the gift of sewing your mouth shut.
“Then, what do we write on the name tag?”
You KNOW what to write on the name tag, but you’re too self-centered to go that far.
“We either lie to ourselves to make them happy or write the truth and create and explosion of anger.”
You write their truth, bitch. And keep the explosion of anger inside yourself.
“So, we settle for “To: My dearest second child”. We dread not seeing the estranged or distant child and we dread seeing them and the potential scenes that will take place if anyone “deadnames” him/her. We anticipate the gray cloud that will settle over the table while everyone is trying to enjoy a holiday meal that will taste bitter to us.”
SUCH the drama queen. Maybe take a couple doses of thorazine before shopping, before Christmas. Everyone will be happier.
“Why celebrate when we will be painfully reminded that our families are broken and incomplete?”
You mean you broke them.
“How do we reconcile the bustle and hustle of the season with the emptiness that we feel, not only inside, but tangibly through the empty seats at the table?”
Since that’s the product of your hate, no one cares how you deal.
“Even if a chair is not empty, there’s one that might as well be because the child or grandchild who sits there is as absent and removed as the one who doesn’t come home.”
My son came out gay about 15 years ago. He still visits me in the hospital if i’m there, and comes over for Christmas, visits. Great relationship even though he feared my reaction.
But MY KID is more important to me than anyone’s opinion you self-absorbed, self-centered, self-aggrandizing, selfish cunt.