( crodish )
I still haven't heard an actual explanation as to why saying "a transwoman is a man" is hateful.

It's the truth. Your shame of being male and/or your discomfort of your own body does not entitle you to overwrite material reality. There is nothing wrong with being a feminine man, a flamboyant man, a man who likes dresses, a man who likes pink, etc. It does not make you a woman.

"It's not hate to state the truth"!

( kalina )
its hateful to them because they want you to play along with their fantasy and you refuse. Refusing to play along with anything a man wants = literal violence

( jeannedeaux )
It is the rage of a cockblocked man.

Testosterone is both a man's aggression hormone and his arousal hormone. And now you know why they get so angry when they're horny and someone tells them No.

I'm not sure how aware most men are of that connection. I like to think some are and therefore control the anger better. But that's not most TIMs. And it's just another sign that this is a fetish to them. If their sexuality weren't tangled up in it, they would probably be a lot more rational when they run into resistance.

( jeannedeaux )
Also, when a TIM gets offended that you called him a man, he's literally saying it's bad to be a man, that "man" is a slur. Social media should be banning them for saying that, not us for saying they're men. If we didn't live in Wackyland.

( real_feminist )
I would be careful about making this argument to a TRA. The obvious comeback is that it's hateful to call someone fat even if it's true. Of course, it's not the same because being fat is stigmatized in our society and rarely necessary to point out and being a man is not. Just be careful with your wording on that one if you share that thought elsewhere.

( crodish )
If a fat person asked me to pretend they were thin and healthy, like the HAES movement, I would absolutely call it out.

I'm not obliged to be kind to clearly deluded people.