So it turns out the new Bond film, partly written by a man hating feminist, is basically a nearly three hour long film of apologising for being male...
Daniel Craig, literally sitting in front of a grey gradient backdrop for 180 literal minutes, banging his head against the floor, weeping and tearing at his shirt, wailing that he should have been born with a vulva? I have my doubts.
Spoliers.
Nothing you have to say has any worth in any way to anyone.
Bond gets softened up to appeal to female viewers. So Bond becomes A DAD (ffs!). To a GIRL, of course. As if it would have been to a boy.....
And they kill the nasty chauvisnist sexist bond in the end, while lots of the film focuses on the MOTHER telling a story about him to the daughter and a FEMALE version of Bond.
*Whips pile of papers off desk in outrage* Well that's ONE movie ruined for me, thanks asshole. I wanted to see it, and now I guess I have.
And it was the pre-Craig Bonds that were nasty chauvinist sexist ones. Craig was more the shellshocked PTSD one.
And there's a fan theory that the reason Bond has been played by so many actors is because “James Bond” isn't a person, but a shared identity that comes with the 007 designation. Hell, Sean Connery was nearly cast as M's groundskeeper in Skyfall, where it would have been implied that he was a retired former Bond, and Daniel Craig was merely playing the latest soldier to wear the name. Also suggesting that the Lazenby, Moore, Dalton and Bronson Bonds were all canon, and either retired or dead.
Well done feminists. You killed off the male, just as you always intended.
*checks pants, finds absence of penis* Aw fuck, he's right, guys!
Oh wait, never mind. Found it. Man, I am unimpressive naked.
As for the social media surrounding the film-remember this-the film is literally being touted as 'the last hope to draw audiences back to the cinema after the virus, to save the companies that make films'. So did you THINK they werent going to try flooding the web with fake positive reviews, or to pay people to monitor social media to counter negative reviews?
Cry more, you sad incel bitch. There WILL be more Bond films in the future - maybe with a female Jamie Bond, maybe not - and men will still be permitted to be the heroes. You're just salty that your privileged monopoly, your ego-coddling security blanket lie of your own superiority, has been ripped from your chubby hands and finally tossed in the wash.
