As soon as I stepped into the church my heart was stabbed again. There, standing by his parents, was my son’s former best friend who was home visiting from college. He is a nerdy kid, like my own son, who is maturing into a handsome and delightful adult. Then his other former best friend, tall and handsome came in. His parents, our dear best friends of years, were sitting next to me. My mind flashed back when the three musketeers would sit together in church and then come to our home to play video games with other boys from church.

My heart broke into a million pieces and the sadness overtook me. Today, the music bounced off the walls and didn’t comfort me. As the music played and tears rolled down my eyes, my heart screamed to God “Why my son? Why our family? Why does he have to be the messed up one who wants to eradicate his identity and who is killing any chance to be a functional man one day? Why do my best friends have their SONS and I don’t have mine? Why? Why? Why?”