AITA for expecting my daughter to do chores?

I (50M) lost my wife ten years ago. It’s just me and my two kids N (17M) and E (F15), recently it caused a big stink with some family that my daughter does chores, but my son does not. I explained it’s because I have to spend extra on my daughter each month not only for her extra curriculars, but for her monthly supplies, so it‘s my way of having her pay me back. She cleans the shared living spaces and bathrooms in our apartment and cooks four meals a week. My brother said I spend twice as much on my sons extra curriculars and by my logic, he should have to do chores too. I explained he didn’t because I feel his could help him get into college but hers were just a hobby in my opinion.

E overheard me say this and was very upset. She started refusing to do chores because it isn’t fair. I told her she’d still be doing her chores and life isn’t fair so stop being a brat, or I’d refuse to pay for her extra curricular stuff or pads. I wouldn’t actually do that, but I was mad when I said it. She packed a bag and took off. She’s been staying with my sister who called me an abusive asshole when I demanded she send E home. My brother and sister are coddling her and I’m furious. N said I was being an asshole to E and that’s why she left. I’m completely fed up with the whole thing. AITA for expecting her to do chores?

ETA: My son plays Football and Baseball while you daughter is in choir and a dance group, so yes I do think my son has a better chance at getting a scholarship. I’m not sexist and I don’t appreciate being called one, and for those of you messaging me saying you hope someone calls CPS on me, I’m not doing anything wrong so that’s just stupid.