Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #conspiracy #quack #magick #wingnut

Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #conspiracy #quack #magick #wingnut bennettleeross.com

Vampires are real
They are members of another species
Who need human blood

The reason they are Counts
And are of nobility
And live in castles
Is because they are of the ruling class

The reason they do not go out during the day
Is because they are reptilian
From the dark underground world

Barnabas Collins of the 1960’s TV show
Dark Shadows
Was 175 years old

The reason why they live so long
Is because each human cell
Is like a battery cell to them

As they drink human blood
And eat human flesh
They consume electricity
And it has an anti aging effect

Todays vampires are different
They are better adapted to light

They appear quite normal on the surface
But behind closed doors
Their reptilian nature comes out

Peter Thiel the Silicon Valley billionaire
Admits he drinks human blood
Through transfusion

Hillary Clinton got her close friend out of jail
Who was caught performing
A blood drinking Satanic ritual

She had cut the skin off the face of the victim
And was wearing it as a mask!

14 comments

Peter Thiel the Silicon Valley billionaire
Admits he drinks human blood
Through transfusion

Finally, one of them acknowledges the vampirephant in the alt-right’s backroom!

You know that reptiles typically need the sun’s heat to live, right. Dark underground caves aren’t their usual thing.

Barnabas Collins of the 1960’s TV show
Dark Shadows
Was 175 years old

Seems pretty young for a vampire. Dracula was published 420 years after Vlad III.’s death. And that’s leaving aside all those ancestor vampires who are from prehistory, like in World of Darkness.

Also:
image

I understand your confusion, but it's umpires.

Umpires are real.

And centuries old.

Dark Shadows was fiction, not a documentary.

Barnabas Collins of the 1960’s TV show
Dark Shadows
Was 175 years old

Don't worry about
Those undead lizard peeps
Buffy will surely save us!

Vampires are real
They are members of another species
Who need human blood

You should have stopped there. Because vampire legends are based on bloodsucking creatures which are real: fleas, mosquitoes, bedbugs, leeches, etc. Which are hardly Dracula stuff.

You've inspired me to create this, entitled '...and "BNA: Brand New Animal" is a documentary too':

Vampires real: thus
"Vampire: The Masquerade" fact?
Your Haiku's still crap

@Titania #73462

Actually, (folkloric) vampires were rooted in infectious wasting diseases like tuberculosis. Notably, vampires would usually go for their household, friends and family first. It may be noted that early vampires did not necessarily drink blood but might instead steal their victim’s breath by setting on the sleeping victim’s chest (i.e. yet another sleep paralysis fiend) or even simply drain the vital force without need to actually leave the grave by gnawing at themselves.
Further, fear of the contagion could lead to rushed burials and thus a higher number of people buried alive (a real fear back then), leading to disturbing noises coming from the graves of the recently deceased and exhumed bodies having bloodied fingertips…
Additionally, when the corpses of supposed vampires were exhumed, they often seemed too well-preserved to people unfamiliar with the taphonomy of buried bodies (which would include the “experts” available to these rural communities, who were usually battlefield surgeons). Indeed, with slightly bloated abdomen and reddish skin discolourations, some of them may even have seemed oddly healthier than they had looked when they died from consumption, pale and emaciated. And often, reddish liquid was found around the mouth - a product of putrefication, but misinterpreted as leftovers from drinking blood.

The reason they are Counts
Is they like to count
The shitty poems Benny writes
One wingnut! Ah ah ah!

The reason they are Counts
And are of nobility
And live in castles
Is because they are of the ruling class

I hate to be a wet blanket, but that’s not an explanation. It’s just saying the same thing, twice, in different words.

Vampires are real
They are members of another species
Desmodontinae rotundus

Can somebody just put him jail for "crimes against art" or something?

Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #conspiracy #quack #magick #wingnut bennettleeross.com

14 comments

Confused?