“…“no contact” … for parents who hold a different perspective”
The town i was born in, the stoplights on the ONE ROAD with stoplight were set to blink yellow and red during the weekend. There wasn’t enough traffic to justify the full pattern, and the tech for sensors was unreliable back then. EVERY WEEKEND when we drove through town, my grandmother complained that the lights were broken. EVERY WEEKEND i tried to explain that it was planned, on purpose and everything. It got outrageously frustrating and that was just me defending the DMV.
Can you imagine living with someone that has to have very personal facts explained to them OVER AND OVER and they refuse to see it your way? No wonder they go no-contact. Just for their sanity.
Your framing it as SIMPLY a different perspective is rejecting EVERYTHING your child is trying to tell you. Every single time it comes up.
“or can’t be controlled under the new rules the kids are dictating in the family dynamics.”
It’s not dictating. But it is a choice for you. Take their word for it, take their side, or stand your ground. And drive them off.
"Every difficult relationship gets pathologized. Every mistake gets turned into a trauma label.”
It’s traumatic. And they respond as it ‘s traumatic. And the parents continue to marginalize the kids’ side as an overreaction. Drama. Which is further trauma.
“How is it that so many kids have seemingly ingested this concept and have such negative attitudes toward their parents?”
And you don’t even consider the possibility that you’re actually contributing to the negative attitude, do you?
“What are the deeper causations or motives in devaluing parents and potentially discarding family relationships?”
Well, when else have parents been cut off by their kids? Anti-vax parents with kids that won’t expose the grandkids.
Interracial couples with parents that will insist on using slurs.
Abusive parents.
The ‘playbook’ is simply deciding not to tolerate harm. You’re inflicting harm. And even if you were in the right, the kid cannot tolerate the harm any more.
“Sometimes, estrangement is the best option to break a cycle of abuse. But now, it is also used as a method to cut off discomfort and conversations that are hard and take courage.”
Oh, man, you ALMOST had it!
"Now, loving parents are lumped in with truly abusive parents.”
Sadly, the parents are not the ones to decide if you’re abusive. You’re still not listening to the kids’ side.
“taking away the rights and undermining the abilities of parents to protect their children?”
You just need to rephrase your side from ‘protecting’ the kids to ‘disciplining.’
See if the ‘abuse’ becomes any clearer when you say ‘the rights and abilities of loving parents to discipline their children.’