KeithInc.

@KeithInc.

Rock #fundie

“So do you believe one hundred percent that Julius Caesar was real and walked the earth?”
I think it would be difficult to explain how he did NOT walk the Earth if we have his own writings, him being described by friend AND foe, his military record, and being minted on coins. But, sure, go ahead and try. Him being real is ust THE most likely explanation…

“I find it very interesting that nobody questions the existence of any historical figure except for Jesus.”
Because Jesus is not a historical figure.
Seriously, the Gospels were written many decades after Jesus, by anonymous writers. Paul, the closest to a contemporary, never mentions Jesus as having a physical presence on Earth.
Pilate never wrote home and said, “Send more troops and some wizards, we killed guy last week and his death made Zombies rise up and wander the streets, putting the frighteners on people!”

“I believe that people are scared to admit that he walked the earth because if you believe that then you will have to make a choice whether to follow Him or not.”
I already made the choice not to follow him because I can’t really follow a god that uses suffering to achieve his ends.

Israrullah Zehri, Honor Killers #fundie

“Evolutionist... there is something weird about your fossil evidence...?
ardi has two different sized feet...”
Yeah, that NEVER happens. My grandfather had to buy two different sized shoes then recombine them to fit his feet.

“has a pelvic bone broken into 4 pieces, and badly degraded to the point where it does not even look like a pelvic bone.”
You do know that buried things get stressed, right?

“stating these bones were found on different DATES and in different LOCATIONS.”
Um, my cousin’s car went over a cliff when I was a kid. They found parts of it right after the accident. Then winter came, and they didn’t find the other parts of THE SAME CAR until the next spring. And those parts had been flung farther away so you’dcall it different ‘locations.’

None of this is a problem for a fossil that’s been rattling around for 4.4 million fucking years.

“plus nothing remains in the bone in order to tell if every part came from the same being.”
Okay… That would still remain the most likely explanation for the fossil, no?

“also, since the bone was found in the dirt, and were highly subject to contamination, no dating method can accurate date any of these fossils.”
Oh, no, a creationist questions the experts’ opinion on dating thefind. How critical.

FrankBeMe #fundie

“I love it....it's funny that any time I ask if a chimp just one day, by total random chance, gave birth to an australopithicus, no one from the other side ever replies.”
Dude if you know THAT LITTLE about evolutionary theory what is the point of pointing out how very wrong you are?

Don McLeroy #fundie

“The controversy over science standards was actually the result of an attempted hijacking of science for ideological purposes by evolutionists.”
The standards of the scientific method are far older than the theory of evolution.

“Their agenda was much more about worldviews than biology.”
Worldview? OOOOOOH! You think evolution requires atheism.
You’re a fucking idiot.
Science is secular, not anti-religion.

“The standards reflect real science and challenge students to study some of evolution's most glaring weaknesses”
Creationists thinking they found a weakness is not the same as having a weakness… I mean, shit, you think evolution is anti-god.

“in explaining the fossil record and the complexity of the cell.”
::yawn::

wolfmuslim #fundie

“Yes. I personally believe that is the wife's main duty to give her husband children”
Wasn’t on our marriage license, wasn’t mentioned in the ceremony, and I know infertile couples have married. So, ‘duty’ may not be the correctest word.

“ and if she doesn't want kids then she shouldn't get married”
Well, that’s between the two of them, isn’t it?
I mean, when we married i wanted dogs. I wanted three dogs, but not until after I stopped making patrols. And that’s how she announced the first kid, called me at work and said i was down to two dogs.

“or let her husband marry another woman who will give him children.”
Oh, like Henry the VIIIth?

“There's no execuse for a woman not to give her husband children unless she is infertile.”
So glad to know your stance on this, now i can live my life.
Um… Who gives a shit?

I Believe!!! #fundie

Weird that you’re upset about Batman when he’s teamed up with Etrigan a time or two. An actual demon.

And frankly, if i was intent on corrupting youths with toys, I’d probably go with hot and sexy nun characters for a few years, then reveal that they’re all secretly demons. I certainly wouldn’t put ‘warning: DEMON’ features on any of them.

François Morin #fundie

:But! Take the birds that fly for example, there is more to the wing then mere accidental gene mutations.”
Yes. Natural selection.

“I truly believe there is an intelligence behind the building blocks that are genes.”
Okay. And you can convince me of this superstition by…?

“I am not a creationist, but they should not have spitted on the intelligent design idea.”
ID is just Creationism in a lab coat. Politics, not science.

“Sadly most hard core atheist are so afraid of a God, that they cannot even believe there might be an intelligence within life at play.”
It’s not any sort of fear of a god, that would not be a trait of hardcore atheism.
There’s just no need to assume an intelligence in the process.

“How on earth do you get a wing step by step of evolution that will make a creature propel itself in thin air risking it life without the proper tool (a wing or a wing like membrane)?”
You have a sort of magical view of what evolution does.
Small changes granting very small advantages multiplied by OODLES of generations of winnowing out the weak.

“The idea of intelligence behind the mutation process does not imply the existence of a personal God like in the Bible."?
Yes it does. The whole point of ID is to get Biblegod into the classroom.
Note every single solitary time they take ID to court, the IDist swears, absolutely swears it’s SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE!
And every single time ID is kicked to the curb, they shout, “You’ve kicked GOD out of school!”

Now, imagine taking ID to court to prove that it shows that Allah is real. Or Odin.

NoLongerTrolling #sexist

“There should be a version of Purge Week where you can rape any femoid you desire. If shes not married or under 18 it would be open season on her cunt, ass and throat.”
I’d become Mormon again, marry about 30 women FOR GAWD! and there you are, unscrewed.

“Also if a femoid was caught having sex outside marriage the punishment would be permanent sex slave status, basically no rape protection for the rest of her life.”
And, again, Gawd tells me to marry you before I buy you a drink, so you’re safe.

“This would solve many problems, preventing the hell and pressure of inceldom from building up,”
You’d still be incels. Women not having the right to say no does not mean any woman on the planet wants to fuck you.

“and encouraging femoids to be chaste and seek a worthy husband who is her looks match instead of fucking Chads.”
No, they’d just marry Chads.

“It would be a perfect world.”
You know, once you set a precedent that there can be justifiable reasons to rape someone, you’re not safe anymore. Purge week, fuck the girls, six months later Gorge week, gangs of women drag incels into the street, pants them, and rape them with Coke bottles.

carterdmx15 #fundie

“ALL YOU GUYS WHO USE JEWS AS YOUR SOURCE FOR THE ARGUMENT NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THESE "GENIUS RABBIS" YOU THINK KNOW SO MUCH ARE THE ONES THAT CALLED FOR CHRIST TO BE KILLED IN THE FIRST PLACE.”
Hold on, wait, this is an argument?
The Old Testament foretells the coming of the Messiah, and tells us how to recognize him. It’s a Jewish book, written by Jews, for the Jewish Messiah.
And we need to keep in mind that Jews who did not think Jesus was the Messiah are complicit in the death of someone who didn’t meet the Messiah prophecies?
That’s not really an objection. I mean, you see that it’s not, right?
That’s like saying the guy who accused the criminal of robbing him was the owner of the shop he robbed. Um, yeah, that would follow.

“WHEN I SAY "IVE STUDIED THE BIBLE A LOT" I DIDNT MEAN, "OH, I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE ON WHAT IM SAYING WHATSOEVER".”
Apparently that’s what you SHOULD have meant.

binge_thinker #fundie

“What are people according to atheists who believe in evolution?
Okay, were you asking for a scientific definition or philosophy?

“When atheism takes hold of a society, moral relativism is inevitable.”
And also when religion takes hold… Watch any Christain discussion about ‘rape’ devolve into just how much to blame the woman.

“Nothing is sacred.”
Um, atheists.

“There is no objective standard of right and wrong,”
Where would we find this objective standard if it existed?

“no God, no eternal Day of Judgement. No hope of eternal justice. Life becomes cheap.”
No, life is ALL WE HAVE. The economics of scarcity rule.

“Yet it is the people that believe in the Bible that are clueless?”
Yes, pretty much. Yuo guys think you’re moral, but all you have are lists of behaviors that are prohibited and another list of approved.
Nothing much in the bible explains WHY something is prescribed or proscribed.

“Okey Dokey. Your delusions have been noted.”
Shiny mirror to you, too.

dad4jesus #fundie

“Oh, they know the truth.”
Yes, just not YOUR truth…

“Most evolutionists aren't uneducated -- in fact, most of them are very highly educated.”
Well, yes, biologists doing research on evolutionary theory tend to be educated, yes. Did you mean evolutionist to just mean everyone that accepts the science?

“ - but the educational SYSTEM, which is turning out graduates with no concept of a "higher power".”
That’s not the point of higher education, though. Especially naturalistic sciences. Learn about superstitions on your own time.

“Young people go into college with an open mind, and exit with a spiritual lobotomy.”
THat might be BECAUSE of the open mind. They find other thoughts and can compare them, as opposed to the echo chamber they were raised in.

“This is why we, as parents, need to make sure that our kids get a strong foundation in Christian truths that will follow them through their school years.”
Yes, the echo chamber. Blame the teachers if it doesn’t work.

Larry #fundie

“A number of years ago an Everest climbing expedition began their climb with a Buddhist ceremony before beginning the ascent !”
COnsidering how many people have died on Everest, I think i’d be more like Lisa Simpson. “God, Buddha, Spongebob! I’m not picky right now!”

“They reached the top and planted their flags it was a beautiful day on
top with perfect blue skies so they lingered enjoying the view,”
Lingering on top of Mount. Fuckng. Everest.
Where you have to take a few breaths of pure oxygen to climb a step?
Yeah, this is historical.

“then 165 mile and hour hurricane force winds with a complete white out hit them
and they could not get off the mountains but for one or two of them, 11
died now they had ask old Buddha to bless them on this endeavor!”
Buddha was a prophet, not a deity.

“God however said I will have no other gods before me, they had actually brought the wrath of God Himself down on their heads!”
Yeah, uh huh, sure. And all the sherpas are Christains so they come back down…

Babylon Bee #wingnut

“The White House National Climate Task Force”
Probably the only sarcastic line in the whole piece.

Anon #ableist #sexist

You bitch that men aren’t emotional, you bitch that you don’t understand what they want, you bitch that someone comes up with a way that men can express themselves without thinking the language is gay…

You say ‘i feel undervalued when you talk over me’ and they stare at you dumbly because they really, really thought you were done talking when they contributed.
But say ‘my love language is that you let me finish’ and they understand that! It won’t help, because they still rush in when you take a breath, but they accept that you have communicated an idea.
And then THEY say, ‘my love language is Buffalo Wings.’ They have expressed a want! And if you produce Buffalo wings, they will feel chuffed that someone listened.

Total Imbecile #sexist #psycho

“[Serious] My morals are entirely shaped by the fact that I dont have a gf”
Then what you have is not morals.
Your motivations are simply a desire for revenge upon the rest of the human race for your lack of pussy. And laziness. Most of the list is just for your convenience.

“For example abortion and free birth control: Im against both because girls being able to sleep carelessly with Chads ruins my chances”
because if they can’t have an abortion they’re MORE likely to sleep with you?
How the fuck no pun intended do you figure?
If she can’t have a one-nighter with Chad, she’ll pick YOU for a major, lasting complication in her life?

“If I ever get a gf and she gets preggo and I dont want it”
NONE of that is your choice, though.

“Id do anything for a gf, I would literally kill a toddler with a hammer if thatd guarantee me a gf”
Anything except let her have birth control…

cheezit #fundie

Anonymous #conspiracy #pratt

"God, I hate the Germans..." (Dwight David Eisenhower”
From what I’ve seen, this was a common thought expressed by soldiers in WWII.
Bill Mauldin drew cartoons for the Star and Stripes. He reported that no one walked around Europe saying they hated the Nazis or they wanted to shoot Hitler.
They entered cities that the Germans had held and said they hated the fucking Krauts. They buried platoon mates shot in combat and railed against the Germans. They ducked under machine gun fire and cursed the goddamned Huns.

I have to wonder, though, how many simple, apolitical soldiers such as you postulate looked around the destruction and blamed the Allies, and how many blamed Hitler.

Bacca #sexist

“feminism, the biggest victims.of feminism are women. It results in many women being single in their 30's and 40's”
Feminism is what allowed my wife to join the Navy, and to be stationed overseas on a tender. I met her in the chow line. A sure sign i wasn’t going to get a tradwife.

Babylon Bee #wingnut

@Bastethotep #260312
“Surely, they, above everyone else, should be well aware that there is indeed a shift in the long-term weather pattern”
Yes, but the important point is that there is no need to actually worry, or to change. They can continue to live, and farm, the way they always have despite the Chicken Little liberals and a few years outside of expected parameters.

FRC #fundie #transphobia

“The recent history and possible motives behind the transgender movement”
4500 BC,Inanna had transgendered priests. Exactly how do you define ‘recent’?

So, you just got all the arguments on PITT and arranged them into book form?

Oliver #conspiracy

“I'm not going to present evidence because even if it's true you'll debunk it with your scientific jargon, it's what you do with any credible evidence for ID.”
Do you not understand what ‘debunk’ means?
If it’s credible evidence, it can’t be ‘debunked.’
If it’s debunked, it wasn’t credible evidence.

And ID is just a political attempt to make creationism look scientific, to slip into science classes.

chrisnorton #fundie

“Well they said she was indeed in a persistant vegetative state.”
Yeah, we’ve known this for a while.

“But I don't trust "science" anyways.”
Why? DO you have any actual evidence that she wasn’t?

“That or the coroner was paid off by Schiavo himself.”
Really? Can you imagine that?
The case had reached NATIONAL ATTENTION. Would you sign a document that you knew was false, KNOWING that the entire country was watching? Knowing how many people were going to revisit your findings, whatever they were
How much would it cost for you to perjure yourself in those conditions?
And how long would it take for you to feel safe to use that money?

Phyllis Schlafly #fundie

“I think that when you get married you have consented to sex.”
Well, i sure did. The one time my wife took off her shirt and I did not stare, she banged me into the car and took me to the ER.
My wife has a different opinion on this, though.

“That's what marriage is all about,”
I kinda remember stuff about love, honor, and cherish. Taking turns cooking, sharing the laundry, stuff. Don’t recall Father Ernie bringing up ‘knockin’ boots’ too often in the ceremony.

“I don't know if maybe these girls missed sex ed.”
You mean the class where they taught all the boys that ‘no means no’ even if you already bought a lobster dinner!’? That class?

“That doesn't mean the husband can beat you up, we have plenty of laws against assault and battery.”
And rape… Dont’ forget rape.

“When it gets down to calling it rape though, it isn't rape, it's a he said-she said where it's just too easy to lie about it.”
It’s not rape because one of them might be lying?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
If she said no, and he heard it, it’s STILL RAPE if no one else can confirm it.

Kent Hovind #fundie

“The earth is spinning but it is slowing down.”
Yes.

“So that means that it used to be going faster.”
Good conclusion.

“ How many can figure that out with no help? Okay several.”
Just not you, apparently.

“ Well, now if the earth is only 6,000 years old that is not a problem. It was probably spinning a little faster when Adam was here.”
A little over one second less, six thousand years ago.

“ Maybe they had 23 and 1/2 hours in a day.”
The math is pretty straight-forward and you can’t do it?

“They would not notice, they did not have a watch anyway.”
Oh, you think 24 hours is THE standard for a day?
If you think that God established a 24 hour day, why is it changing at all?

SuperSaint4GodBZStyle #fundie

“Also Evolution is supposed to have happened according to the humanists,”
Biologists. According to biologists, not atheists, not humanists.

“but I have a question to ask. If in Evolution and survival of the fittest are correct and also Evolution is a science according to the humanists”
Biologists.

“ then there shouldn't be any purpose in life.”
No. Science is neutral to the supernatural. No science theory being true means there’s no god.

“But since I'm a biology major”
I have the doubt…

“and I'm currently taking Organic Chemistry and Lab, I have noticed that in our Lab Notebooks we have to have a purpose why we're doing the experiment.”
Yes. Understanding what you’re trying to accomplish is key to an experiment.

“If Evolution is a science should it have a purpose why evolution has occurred?”
No, evolution is history, not an experiment.

“Also, why does the atheist cry when his wife dies in a car crash?”
We’re not psychopaths?

“Life has a purpose.”
Sure. Just not one imposed on us frmo the Great Gazoo.

“We all have a purpose.”
Unless we’re dolphins.

“ Can you imagine that someone wants to be good to you?”
Yes, I’ve had many blowjobs.

“ God wants to be good to us all.”
Freel fee to prove this.

“ He's not bad at all.”
God who tests women’s fidelity by causing an abortion is good?
God who destroyed Job’s family to test his faith for a wager with Satan?
Try again.

“ God looks for good and finds good. Ever since Adam had sinned, God wants the relationship with man that he once had.”
Then all he has to do is forgive us all our sins and the sins of Adam and Woman.

“So he gave his only begotten Son Jesus to save us all from hell and eternal damnation. But whoever is not a christian already has to make the choice whether to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and let God love you just the way you are or to reject God and his free gift for a lowzy place in american society with no purpose other than to feel good.”
Heard it all before. Still don’t find any reason to believe in your invisible sky fairy.

Truthteller86 #fundie

“Aren't you a Christian yet?”
Born and raised… And then had questions no one could answer.

“What's the hold up.”
The questions no one can answer.

“Oh BTW, you are a loser unless you become a Christian, then we can be bros.”
Fine, I’m a loser. I’ve been called a LOT worse.
And I don’t want to be bros.

“PS: Don't be a homo, they die young and bring others with them.”
That decision was made 63 years ago.

“Oh, also, after you humble yourself before the foot of the Cross and and ask God to forgive you of your open rebellion and rejection if Him,”
If he’s omniscient, he knows exactly why i rejected him.

“then can you pick a new screen name? God hates sorcerors (and perverts).”
Um, no.

“Hey, I forgot to ask you....have you ever seen The Pasion (movie)? Just curious.”
Not into snuff porn.

AV1611 #fundie

“ Scientist have proven that the earth at one time stood still for about 24 hours.”
How would it even be possible to show this scientifically?
I mean, our time is based on sun-overhead (or whatever position you want to reference). and the duration from previous ‘sun-overhead.’

What would remain, right now, in our time references if the sun HAD stopped for a day? How could the current time references reflect a past change?

You’d need TWO time references in operation at all times from this alleged biblical event to right now, so you could compare them for a difference. The ‘position of the sun’ reference is the only one that’s been continuously in operation for all that time. There’s nothing to compare it to.
That entire story of a supercomputer detecting all the bible references to stopping time is not only mythical, it’s impossible.

rebelEnigma #fundie

“*sigh* Wow, apparently, if a woman can't vote, she's being oppressed.”
Um, yeah.
I mean, if she’s a felon, that’s one thing.
If you just decide, “You have no penis, no vote,” that’s oppression.

“If she stays at home, she's being abused and hindered.”
If she’s FORCED to stay home, yes.
If she quits her job because she’d rather be home, no.

“Can't get a job: rejected and proclaimed inferior.”
Like all the incels who claim that they shred all job applications from women?

“Geez, no wonder feminists are so miserable with such a bastardized view of the world around them!”
Bastardized?
You’re the one who needs to take off the tinted glasses…

herostime #fundie

“There is physical evidence that events in the bible actually happened that prove god's existence.”
Well, Egypt exists…
But most scholars now hold that Egypt never kept a large slave population. Kinda makes the whole ‘let my people go’ story moot.

Dale K #conspiracy

ChurchOfChristDebator #fundie

“i told you once opinions dont count...”
Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

“Your theology is also wrong.....”
Uh huh?

“I dont think Homosexuals should have any rights until they become a heterosexual.....”
And what do you base this opinion on? Keeping in mind that the government of this nation is secular…

TheChampion #fundie

“Evolution much have been taking a long break from work when all these miraculous chemistry processes were going on.”
Miraculous? Sorry, magic is your side of the street, not evolution.

“To just leave behind dogs and cats and chickens, where they did not also "evolve" like minkeys.”
Huh? OOOOOH! You think ‘evolve’ means to ‘become tool using humans with opposable thumbs and mortgages.’
You’re horribly wrong.

“And why minkeys, couldn't evolution have just left minkeys alone? I mean, wasn't life better swinging from trees and eating bananas?”
Minkeys didn’t evolve into humans, idiot.

“Now we got to put up with traffic and Christmas shopping and bills and liberals and all kinds of annoying things.”
Like spelling, and knowing what the fuck you’re taking about…

“ Why minkeys?”
Nope. Not minkeys.

“Couldn't have bears evolved into big hairy Chewbaccas and subjugated the animal kingdom.”
I think i read that scifi series. But that’s not what happened.
What if is speculation. Evolutionary science is about what DID happen.

“I can't quite get how man could be so arrogant to think that he would be so special that evolution would single him out for higher intelligence, leaving behind alllllll other animals and mammals and reptiles and doggies and kitties and all that.”
That’s an important point. We’re not actually sure that intelligence is a survival trait. No one else seems to need fire, clothing stores, and atomic weapons.

“It makes no sense really.”
As several people have pointed out, comedy is MUCH harder to write than reality. Comedy has to make sense.

“Evolution makes no sense.”
Doesn’t really have to, since it’s not guided by an intelligence.

“The big picture of evolution cannot be reconciled with statistics, or science for that matter.”
You’re wrong, there.

“It is all quite murky and we are asked to simply take it all on faith.....”
No, you’re really not.
Every evolution textbook tells you the theory AND the facts that lead to that conclusion.

“because it takes a lot of faith to believe it all.”
Oh, that canard. How original….

“ And God help you if you disagree with the science community.”
Well, that depends on WHY you disagree. I mean, if you aren’t even able to spell ‘monkey’ right, your arguments aren’t going to be welcomed as compelling science.

“You have to stand back and let them refute their own theories, which they do regularly.”
How many theories can you name that were actually refuted?
Plenty have been improved with new evidence. Not too many have been proven completely wrong that I can think of…

bwfalme26 #fundie

“Me to Athiest: I can't see your brain, therefore you don't have one.”
Does one typically expect to see brains?
Did anyone see Einstein’s brain to know how smart he was?
Did anyone see Bush’s brain to know who dumb HE was?
If you haven’t seen the brains of people you think are smart, why would you offer such a horribly stupid argument? Are you trying to be clever? Turn the atheist argument around as a gotcha?

but does anyone actually USE that argument?
I mean, I don’t see wind, but we can measure its speed and direction.
I don’t typically see air, but i’ve seen a 4500 psi relief valve lift and buddy, you are aware that air exists. For that matter, in the diving tank, I’ve seen air. Little bubbles going by…
I’ve also used radiacs to measure alpha, beta, Neutron, and Gamma radiation that I could not see, but knew was there.

This is a really horrible argument you’re pretending that people use. Got any cites for it actually being used? And even if it is used, your riposte is really FUCKING stupid.

Joe #fundie

“Women are capable of love but there’s a reason St. Paul tells wives to “fear” their husbands."
Wishful thinking?

“Because women are just much more like children in their moral reasoning and in their emotional “resilience” (or capacity for cruelty).”
Yes, sure, for 40 years that’s all i’ve gotten from Mrs. Inc. Poor moral reasoning and a kid-like memory.

“So for a woman to love a husband is much like a child’s love for his parents.”
That’s not my experience, or anyone’s in my work group. All of our wives suffer from a blind spot in their math. We have three kids, but my wife refers to ‘raising four children’ rather often. Other husbands report similar math issues in their household.
The wife in our group just smiles.

“It is a love that is requires her to be in a dependent position.”
Dude, she’s the one who insists i need to go to the ER and she’s been right so often I no longer argue, even for form’s sake.

“This is why marriage in a feminist society of independent and irreligious (I don’t mean women without superstition, but women without fear of moral judgment) women, cannot work.”
One week ago we celebrated out 39th anniversary. After three years of dating.
Her moral code is MUCH superior to mine and we both know it.
Good luck getting a relationship to last 39 days.

Brittany Waller #fundie

“This is completely horrifying!”
Yes, you’ve been scammed by a horrifyingly unqualified hack.

“Where is the justice.”
That would be his conviction and jail time.

“The government can sentence a child molester to a 22 dollar fine”
Your whataboutism is noted…

“but puts a christian that has offered to pay the taxes back in prison for 10 years!!!”
Offered? How magnanimous of Hovind to give the state what he owed them in the first place.
But it’s not debtor’s prison. He’s not being locked up in an effort to recoup the funds.

He broke the tax laws. They’d like it if he did not do it again. They’d like it if no one else did it either. This involves punishment. They judge his crimes to be worth 10 years.
And be glad it’s a secular government. His crime is worth ten years.
If the government was Catholic, he might get a much longer sentence, just for not being Catholic. Or for working with Jack Chick.

Robert J. Antonellis #fundie

“At Christmas time, when Christians are trying to enjoy the peace and harmony of the birth of Jesus Christ, we have been attacked, in recent years, by retailers who are part of the body of the New Goliath.”
Oh, you poor pitiful put-upon VICTIM you.
Your favorite stolen pagan holiday is included with other holidays that you didn’t steal in the ‘Happy Holidays’ greeting, but having to share Solstice is AN ATTACK on you?
Good lord what a drama-martyr you are.

“After you dish out hundreds of dollars in their stores”
Um, is this materialism part of ‘the peace and harmony of the birth of Jesus Christ’ or something else?

“ their employees are instructed to throw Excrement Pie in your face, by saying "Happy Holidays" with a sheepish grin.”
IIRC, there are like 14 religious holidays between Thanksgiving and Presidents day. It’s a period of holidays. And when someone hopes you enjoy all 14 of them, you think you’re being treated as (and with) shit.
Please show us on the snowflake how you’re harmed by someone hoping you’re happy during Kwanza?

“Or they decorate their establishment not with Chrsitmas symbols, but using the Snowflake of David as the sole decoration.”
The snowflake of David? Mother of fuck, you use Christain Salt for cooking, don’t you?
And, really, what ARE the Christmas symbols? The magic elf and his flying ungulates? Those aren’t biblical. Snow, snowmen, snowballs? Not much snow in the Bible. Yule logs? Hanging Stockings? Any Christain symbols at Christmas?

“So if they would like to qualify for the 1% merchant fee, they must sign the contract which will include a requirement for its employees to be trained to say "Merry Christmas!" or "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!" in the two weeks leading up to Christmas.”
Um, pretty sure that Legislating that people have to celebrate a Christian holiday would indeed be a violation of the 1st Amendment you sorry excuse for an American.
Now, if you were to shuffle it, so they said ‘happy boxing day’ for 2 days before Boxing Day, and ‘happy solstice’ for 2 days before Solstice, and ‘Happy Kwanza’ for each of the days of Kwanza, at least it wouldn’t be unconstitutional.
But i’d BET that it would only pass if there were exceptions to allow ‘happy holidays’ for people who are calendar challenged.

“And if an employee should accidentally throw Excrement Pie at a member using the Christian Clout card, the Christian Clout member would receive a $25 gift certificate in the store.”
Oh, my, you are SUCH a victim! Cannot STAND the fact that you’re not the be-all and the end-all of Saturnalia in its stolen form, nor the sole target of the entire industry for that materialist-gasm we call Christmas Morning.

Coriolanus #fundie

“Are the majority of atheists brainwashed?”
Well, not anymore, i left the Church.

“Or is someone holding up placards with the words "Sky Daddy", "Imaginary Friend", "Flying Spaghetti Monster", "Invisible Fairy", "Santa Christ" for them to read from?”
No, just your posts and responses to them. And sometimes someone will coin a phrase I like, such as imaginary friend, and I’ll use that later. Not brainwashed, just impressed.

“Is it true that Atheists are those people with vulnerable minds who are susceptible to the kind of anti-religious propaganda emanating from Hell itself?”
Doubt it, since i don’t think Hell is real. I mean, it makes ZERO sense.

“Have they been unwittingly duped by those who practice pseudoscience and call it "fact", and those who revise history and call it the "past"?”
Heh. Yeah, that’s atheists, sure. Not like different flavor of fundie have different history texts…

“Does anyone seriously contend that Atheism is anything other than a crime against reason and truth?”
Do you have any actual statements, here, or just leading questions?

Studies have shown that by presenting as a Christain, scam artists can disable the usual defenses of other Christains. You guys fall for the DUMBEST scams, just because you feel that no Christain would lie about the opportunity.
I’m unaware of any studies showing that you can get similar results from claiming to be an atheist.
I mean, other than people like Strobel, who claim they USED TO be atheists… But again, it’s the faithful that they prey on…

Budge #fundie

“I was an atheist/agnostic during UU years.”
You need to pick one.
Most agnostics I’ve known are unwilling to actually commit to the title of ‘atheist,’ and make that clear in any discussion. And the atheists that I know are atheists aren’t ashamed of the status, and don’t dissemble.

“And I have to tell you from personal experience atheism is a sad, hopeless state to be in."
Really? I’ve only been an atheist since about, um, 1977? Never been sad or hopeless because of that. Rather the opposite, as stupid people tell me things like they’re not afraid of getting AIDS at communion because their God will protect them…

“I used to buy into the lies of Paul Kurtz and even supported his magazine at one time.”
Lies? He was a secular humanist. Concentrating on humans, who demonstrably exist, and the human condition rather than the supernatural? What lie would you be referring to, bubbles?

“Like looking down a dark tunnel of nothing.”
Well if it wasn’t full of nothing it wouldn’t be a tunnel, would it?

“Also when sick from asthma, even as an atheist, Id pray OH GOD! so what does that tell you....?”
Immersion. You’re surrounded by people who use Christain terms to swear, to pray, to add intensity modifiers to speech…
After 20 years in the Navy, I say ‘god damn’ quite a bit, with absolutely no intention that a divine being cast the soul of a bolt into eternal torment because it’s not turning. I don’t believe in any gods, nor in souls, NOR that the bolt would suffer even in the fiery lake.

All in all, though, I doubt that you were ever an atheists, or an agnostic.

freespirit #fundie

“I think the world sees fundies as a group of nitwits who accept the bible 100% as written,”
Well, as written, and translated, and edited, translated some more, then shelved and ignored in favor of what fundies THINK is in the Bible, yeah.

“yet most can't offer a reasonable explanation to any of thier (the world's) educated discounts and doubts on many of the key fundamental issues,”
You not accepting my answers to questions that are key does NOT make fundies any less nitwits.

“that they see as ridiculously easy to dissmiss as fable.”
Um, are you under the impression that ‘goddidit’ is an explanation? It’s just name-dropping.

“The Blind leading the Blind. Another description they like to use is "Sheeple"”
Yes, both sides use that term. Is there a problem, there? Do you have an actual argument? Can you show that it’s ‘wrong’ to refer to y’all as sheeple?

Patricia McCarthy #wingnut #racist #transphobia #conspiracy

You know, what’s probably more instructive here is that the Airline Company doesn’t have to.

I mean, it would be one thing if it was a class-action lawsuit. Bunch of travelers suddenly have DJT on their luggage, demanding that the DOJ force a major business to violate quite-enforceable contracts and provide a refund, and the Airline saying, ‘We shouldn’t have to, they bought the tickets as-is!’

But that’s not what happened.
The business is saying, “Yeah, Donnie’s being a cockwomble, and we already have your money, but even WE won’t make you play as spearcarriers to Bonespurs’ ego.”

@Timjer #260252
Probably because she’s the only first lady in their lifetime they could imagine having the sex at.

GuineaPi #fundie

“What does it say about Western democracy if the European majorities in them can't even determine their national makeup?”
But you DID determine the national makeup.
You brought in slaves and indentured servants and cheap labor to build your country, now they live here.

"Either you believe that Western democratic values and institutions are largely a farce”
Dude, ‘democracy’ doesn’t mean that you get what you want because you’re the bigger bullies. Democracy means that even the minorities have rights. YOUR rights only extend as far as the edge of THEIR rights.

“or you agree that the European people have collectively chosen this path on their own will.”
Slave trade, Chinese to build the railroads, migrant workers to pick the crops…

“Neither is flattering to the European people to be honest.”
The truth hertz?

WHO DAT???? #conspiracy

Patricia McCarthy #wingnut #racist #transphobia #conspiracy

“How petty and childish are the Trump-deranged?

Some among them are so immature that they cannot possibly land at an airport named after Trump.”
‘would rather not’ is not quite the same as ‘cannot possibly,’ but what’s a fact to the Deplorable.

Trump’s destroying the White House, the Supreme Court, the DOJ, Congress, the reflecting pool, our alliances, our economy, and getting our men killed in needless foreign wars he can’t fight or bribe his way out of.
He wants his face on the money, his name on seven or eight airports, his face on Rushmore, a class of ship named after him, all things normally reserved as monuments to dead people. These are childish and petty, self-aggrandizing ego trips.
But, sure, I don’t want to go anywhere NEAR this draft-dodging, child-raping, convicted felon or anything that attempts to ‘honor’ his convicted, corrupt, cowardly ass, because _I_ am the childish one.
I did 20 years in the Navy. My wife did 11. My son did 15.
Even Queen Elizabeth did more military service than the ENTIRE Trump family since coming to this country, and you besmirch MY honor?
Fuck you AND the grift you rode in on.

Christians 4 Jews #fundie

“Disease comes by sin.”
And we’re all sinners, so we’re all subject to disease.

“ If Jesus headed blindness,”
Do you mean ‘healed’?
And he did heal blindness…

“then the blind would have some other handicap replacing blindness.”
Really?
So what’s the point of the miracle of healing, then? Just shifting your sin-debt from blindness to deafness or something? Jesus can’t miracle your sins away?
Isn’t… Isn’t that the entire Point ofhis visit,though?

“As long as there is sin in this world, there's going to be handicaps and sickness.”
And your omnipotent god can’t do shit about it?
So, it’s not that Jesus cured blindness,it’s that he forgave the sin that blinded them. Except he didn’t, not really. What a bunch of malarky….

Peter Ruchti #fundie

“Put Christ Back Into Schools

To allow freedom of praying and reading of the Bible in all schools across America.
Positions:”
Christ is in all schools across America. Any student can take a bible to class, and pray for their math scores…

“1. Allow Teaching of and only the Bible by teachers at any time to students anytime.”
Okay, THAT’S unconstitutional.

“2. Allowing the Bible (and only the Bible) to be an elective in all schools, and not forced upon.”
Even as an elective, you’ll have someone telling everyone else what the Bible means. What if the teacher who gets that class is a Satanist?

“Category:
Education - Elementary and Secondary
Description:
We believe every teacher should have the right to teach the Bible at any time.”
Then you’re anti-American. Shut your treason-hole.

“Please note: To clearify, this group is for teaching of the entire Bible, and only the Bible.”
Seemed pretty clearified to me.

“According 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, every person has the right to religion.”
Yes. You have a right to your religion.
You don’t have a right to force me to obey or even listen to your religion.

“ Why is praying/reading of the Bible not allowed in most schools?”
It is, idiot. You just can’t teach it as fact or force people to join you in prayer.

Jim #sexist #racist #homophobia #pratt

“This extensive representation of women is, of course, profoundly anti feminist, presenting the uncompromising position that women should be chaste and faithful, and that the mistress should not seek to replace the wife”
It’s been a while,but IIRC, Penelope was very much a feminist icon in the Odyssey. She stayed true to Odysseus because she chose to, rather than seek an alternate husband to protect her once what’sname was severely overdue.
CHOOSING to be chaste is feminist, not anti, you dork.

As I recall, Helen’s skipping town was also feminist. She had been a prize, and offered as wife to the winner, but she fellin love with Paris and made the choice to seek romantic happinessity.

Circe lived on her own terms, another feminist.

I think you’re just a misogynist, viewing the movie through crap-colored glasses.

little jeremiah #homophobia

“Already sexual attacks on men by men have increased tremendously [in the military].”
I really doubt that. I was in the military and certain people were famous for grabbing your ass or flicking your dick or placing their dick on your shoulder just to see how you reacted.
I would believe that the REPORTS of man-on-man sexual harassment has increased. First time I complained about the treatment, I was told to man up, it’s just how submariners do things. When women started to serve on surface ships,they were harassed HORRIBLY. And told to take it.
Slowly,the military is becoming sensitive to the problem they’ve had for a long, long time.

“Already homos are on the march, chaplains are silenced,”
Chaplains, officers, enlisted, everyone needs to support the military’s equal opportunity program. Well, except under this administration.

“it’s just the beginning; it will get much, much worse unless and until it goes back to “Ask, and if the answer is wrong, out the damn door!”
It’s not going back to that for any rational reason. Kegsbreaath is just pushing it back because he’s a snowflake.

“Homosexuals DO NOT BELONG IN THE MILITARY and there is so much evidence to prove this”
Such as?

“ that only those pushing a depraved agenda ignore it.”
So sorry you feel this way, but your emotions aren’t terribly useful as legislation.

Ray Martinez #fundie

“Presupposing an explanation to be necessary presupposes the falsity of Creationism.”
Well, no. The definition of science is naturalistic. Meaning no magic. Creationism needs magic actions from a magic being. So it’s not science. I don’t know if it’s true or false, but it’s not science.
So I don’t presuppose an explanation to be necessary, as much as I ask, “CAN science explain this?”

“Creationism, once postulated, makes the request for this explanation unnecessary.”
No. You being satisfied by ‘goddidit’ doesn’t make anyone else satisfied with that answer.

“That is the very point and purpose of Creationism: to kill any debate concerning why because "why" presupposes transmutation to be true and Creationism-ID to be false."
But Evolution is not about ‘why.’ It’s about ‘what happened.’ It may or may not have been driven by magic, but it’s what the evidence shows happened.

“The Creator wants to kill this debate so mankind can get on with studying the Bible and not animals.”
You can speak for the Creator? Isn’t that kinda blasphemous? Do you have scripture that supports this or are you just a fatuous bullshitter?

Charlie Kirk #sexist

“Still waiting for American “feminists” to protest against the oppression of women in Middle Eastern countries, where women cannot drive, vote, own property, run for office, or speak freely”
When the Shah fell, and the Ayatollah started restricting women’s rights, opportunities, privileges, American feminists got arrested right and left for protesting. Some got jailed some got deported.
Where were you?