...
As I didn’t have a realistic possibility of becoming a man back in the 1980s,
You were born in 1965. You were old enough to have transitioned in the 1980's. The reason you didn't is because you're not transgender.
I want to be very clear here: I know transition will be a solution for some gender dysphoric people, although I’m also aware through extensive research that studies have consistently shown that between 60-90% of gender dysphoric teens will grow out of their dysphoria.
Sounds like bullshit. But it's not like they don't, you know, have trained mental health professionals around to evaluate a young person who can tell the difference between a genuine trans identity and a phase...
Again and again I’ve been told to ‘just meet some trans people.’ I have: in addition to a few younger people, who were all adorable, I happen to know a self-described transsexual woman who’s older than I am and wonderful. Although she’s open about her past as a gay man, I’ve always found it hard to think of her as anything other than a woman, and I believe (and certainly hope) she’s completely happy to have transitioned.
And yet you are promoting narratives that contruibute to a culture that denies her her dignity as a human and her identity as a woman.
Being older, though, she went through a long and rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation. The current explosion of trans activism is urging a removal of almost all the robust systems through which candidates for sex reassignment were once required to pass.
Some of those requirements were bullshit and trans people were forced to conform to nonsensical standards in order to gain access to transition. Like, a trans woman can't be a lesbian. But that's a buncha crap.
A man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law. Many people aren’t aware of this.
And there's nothing wrong with that. I want to have hormone treatments. I want to get a vagina surgery. But, in the meantime, I'm *still* a woman. And even if I never do that I will *still* be a *woman*! You don't get a say in the mattter. None. At. All.
We’re living through the most misogynistic period I’ve experienced. Back in the 80s, I imagined that my future daughters, should I have any, would have it far better than I ever did, but between the backlash against feminism and a porn-saturated online culture, I believe things have got significantly worse for girls. Never have I seen women denigrated and dehumanised to the extent they are now. From the leader of the free world’s long history of sexual assault accusations and his proud boast of ‘grabbing them by the pussy’, to the incel (‘involuntarily celibate’) movement that rages against women who won’t give them sex, to the trans activists who declare that TERFs need punching and re-educating, men across the political spectrum seem to agree: women are asking for trouble. Everywhere, women are being told to shut up and sit down, or else.
You know who else has to live through these misogynistic times? Transgender women. Like I said, TERFs deny me my right to exist. If that isn't enough reason to say they need "punching and re-educating" I don't know what is. It is infuriating that you want to lump transgender women in with Trump and... ugh... incels (I think I'm gonna barf). Transgender women are also "being told to shut up and sit down, or else". And we're getting it from misogynists *and* transphobic bigots. And some of those bigots are our fellow women.
I’ve read all the arguments about femaleness not residing in the sexed body, and the assertions that biological women don’t have common experiences, and I find them, too, deeply misogynistic and regressive.
That's a strawman argument. Nobody says cisgender women don't have common experiences (good Glob, just say "cisgender" for fuck's sake, I am just as much a "biological" woman as you are!). Guess what, trans women share in those experiences too. Especially those of us who transition at a young age. If I had been allowed to go through a female puberty and grown into a woman as a teenager just like you, then I think the only thing I would be missing out on is menstruation. But even some cisgender women lack the properly functioning reproductive systems that are required for that.
It’s also clear that one of the objectives of denying the importance of sex is to erode what some seem to see as the cruelly segregationist idea of women having their own biological realities or – just as threatening – unifying realities that make them a cohesive political class.
Don't you dare try to tell me I'm denying the impotance of sex. I have lain awake at night tortured by the fact that I lack a vagina, uterus, ovaries, etc. I have desperately wanted to have a female body, to be treated as female by the people around me, even if that meant enduring all the the misogynistic bullshit that cisgender women face. IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT TO SAY THAT I WANT TO ERASE THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN WHEN I VERY MUCH JUST WANT TO CHANGE MY POSITION IN THAT DICHOTOMY! (while, of course, acknowledging that there also very much needs to be room inbetween and outside of that dichotomy for those who have non-binary identities).
The hundreds of emails I’ve received in the last few days prove this erosion concerns many others just as much. It isn’t enough for women to be trans allies. Women must accept and admit that there is no material difference between trans women and themselves.
In other words, being a transphobic bigot is still a mainstream position. That doesn't make it right. And though I wouldn't say that there is no material difference bewtween trans women and cis women since, after all, it is essentially entirely a difference in the literal material we're made of that is the issue, I would say that there is no spiritual difference, if you will allow an atheist to use such language, between us. BTW, "women" includes both cisgender women AND transgender women. So, you know, you can go fuck yourself.
But, as many women have said before me, ‘woman’ is not a costume. ‘Woman’ is not an idea in a man’s head. ‘Woman’ is not a pink brain, a liking for Jimmy Choos or any of the other sexist ideas now somehow touted as progressive.
This. This is what makes me truly angry. I am not "wearing a costume" when I put on a skirt or do my makeup. I am just a normal woman, putting on a skirt and doing my makeup. I am NOT a man. I am not trying to conform to some stereotype of womanhood - at least, no more so than any of us who are pressured by society to live by the traditional norms of our gender. Pink brain? Fuck you. I won't apologize for those areas of my life where I express traditionally feminine traits. Would you give my cisgender sister a similar hard time where she and I are similarly so inclined? I don't even know what "Jimmy Choos" are.
Moreover, the ‘inclusive’ language that calls female people ‘menstruators’ and ‘people with vulvas’ strikes many women as dehumanising and demeaning. I understand why trans activists consider this language to be appropriate and kind, but for those of us who’ve had degrading slurs spat at us by violent men, it’s not neutral, it’s hostile and alienating.
It's TERFs who want to define women as "people with vulvas" or "menstruators" Trans activists want to point out that some women don't have vulvas or menstrual cycles. Even some cisgender women don't have menstrual cycles...
Which brings me to the fifth reason I’m deeply concerned about the consequences of the current trans activism.
I’ve been in the public eye now for over twenty years and have never talked publicly about being a domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor. This isn’t because I’m ashamed those things happened to me, but because they’re traumatic to revisit and remember. I also feel protective of my daughter from my first marriage. I didn’t want to claim sole ownership of a story that belongs to her, too. However, a short while ago, I asked her how she’d feel if I were publicly honest about that part of my life, and she encouraged me to go ahead.
I’m mentioning these things now not in an attempt to garner sympathy, but out of solidarity with the huge numbers of women who have histories like mine, who’ve been slurred as bigots for having concerns around single-sex spaces.
Ah, yes, single sex spaces. The greatest of all transphobic slurs. That trans women are just sexually perverted men who want to invade female spaces. Hey, fuck you.
If you could come inside my head and understand what I feel when I read about a trans woman dying at the hands of a violent man, you’d find solidarity and kinship. I have a visceral sense of the terror in which those trans women will have spent their last seconds on earth, because I too have known moments of blind fear when I realised that the only thing keeping me alive was the shaky self-restraint of my attacker.
I believe the majority of trans-identified people not only pose zero threat to others, but are vulnerable for all the reasons I’ve outlined. Trans people need and deserve protection. Like women, they’re most likely to be killed by sexual partners. Trans women who work in the sex industry, particularly trans women of colour, are at particular risk. Like every other domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor I know, I feel nothing but empathy and solidarity with trans women who’ve been abused by men.
Oh, you care sooooo much about abuse trans women suffer. But you still use the term "woman" as if it excludes us. Like, I don't know, someone who's, what's the word? "trans-exclusionary". Fuck you. I am a woman too.
So I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.
That's simply a hateful slur meant to keep me from living a normal life. I am a woman. If facilities are gender segregated, I will not be forced to use those facilities designated for men. No cisgender man is going to pretend to be trans to sneak into women's spacs. Certainly not enough to justify denying trans women our dignity. And whether or not I've had my genitals upgraded to female is nobody's business but my fucking doctor or my boyfriend (if I ever have one). I certainly don't intend to show anybody else my genitals. I especially don't want to show this disgusting thing between my legs in any of those precious single-sex spaces of yours. Guess what, trans women aren't all depraved exhibitionists. No *cisgender* woman should feel less safe because I use the same bathroom as them. In fact, you're asking me to put my safety in jeopardy by going into the men's room even though I (am trying to) look like a woman. Not to mention that standing up to pee is less convienient if I'm wearing women's clothes, and sitting down to pee on a men's toilet? Gross. Men's rooms are absolutely disgusting. I never want to use one again. Yuck. Plus, standing up to pee just makes me feel bad in general...
On Saturday morning, I read that the Scottish government is proceeding with its controversial gender recognition plans, which will in effect mean that all a man needs to ‘become a woman’ is to say he’s one.
That sounds like an oversimplification designed to demonize trans women.
To use a very contemporary word, I was ‘triggered’. Ground down by the relentless attacks from trans activists on social media, when I was only there to give children feedback about pictures they’d drawn for my book under lockdown, I spent much of Saturday in a very dark place inside my head, as memories of a serious sexual assault I suffered in my twenties recurred on a loop. That assault happened at a time and in a space where I was vulnerable, and a man capitalised on an opportunity. I couldn’t shut out those memories and I was finding it hard to contain my anger and disappointment about the way I believe my government is playing fast and loose with womens and girls’ safety.
They aren't playing fast loose with womens and girls' safety. If anything you are trying to make women and girls less safe. Transgender women and girls anyway. Your trauma is no excuse for mistreating trans women. You're just projecting a distrust of men on to us because we were born with penises. I may, unfortuneately, have a penis but I am no man.
Late on Saturday evening, scrolling through children’s pictures before I went to bed, I forgot the first rule of Twitter – never, ever expect a nuanced conversation – and reacted to what I felt was degrading language about women. I spoke up about the importance of sex and have been paying the price ever since. I was transphobic, I was a cunt, a bitch, a TERF, I deserved cancelling, punching and death. You are Voldemort said one person, clearly feeling this was the only language I’d understand.
The importance of sex. You clearly think my existence in and of itself is degrading to women. You shouldn't expect nuanced conversation in response to such a denial of humanity. Indeed, Voldemort would approve of your vile rhetoric.
It would be so much easier to tweet the approved hashtags – because of course trans rights are human rights and of course trans lives matter – scoop up the woke cookies and bask in a virtue-signalling afterglow. There’s joy, relief and safety in conformity. As Simone de Beauvoir also wrote, “… without a doubt it is more comfortable to endure blind bondage than to work for one’s liberation; the dead, too, are better suited to the earth than the living.”
Or you could, I don't know, start treating transgender people with respect...
Huge numbers of women are justifiably terrified by the trans activists; I know this because so many have got in touch with me to tell their stories. They’re afraid of doxxing, of losing their jobs or their livelihoods, and of violence.
And yet, many women *aren't* afraid of transgender activists. That's because they aren't spreading hateful transphobic bullshit. Look, if you want to actively work towards a world where I am treated as a freak and/or forced to live a lie, then I'm not going to be upset because some people who are sick and tired of that bullshit decide to say mean things to you on the Internet. You reap what you fucking sow.
But endlessly unpleasant as its constant targeting of me has been, I refuse to bow down to a movement that I believe is doing demonstrable harm in seeking to erode ‘woman’ as a political and biological class and offering cover to predators like few before it.
Complete bullshit. Just excuses for your bigotry. If my being counted as
a woman devalues your womanhood, then your womanhood is flimsy at best. TERFs like to wrap themselves up in the historic marginalization and worse women have had to endure as though it were a defining trait of womanhood. Never mind that trans women are not immune to misogyny, if we lived in a utopia where there was no sexism would you then cease to be a woman? The rhetoric of many TERFs seems to suggest so. But it's transgender activists who want to erode the concept of "woman"? Get the fuck out of here. My womanhood in ingrained in my very soul.
I stand alongside the brave women and men, gay, straight and trans,
Don't you DARE say you're standing alongside trans people. Just don't.
who’re standing up for freedom of speech and thought, and for the rights and safety of some of the most vulnerable in our society: young gay kids, fragile teenagers, and women who’re reliant on and wish to retain their single sex spaces
Guess what? I am one of those women who wants to retain my single-sex spaces. I am socially female. My genitals are none of your Glob damned business and I belong in female-only spaces just as much as you do!
Polls show those women are in the vast majority, and exclude only those privileged or lucky enough never to have come up against male violence or sexual assault, and who’ve never troubled to educate themselves on how prevalent it is.
Popular bigotry is still bigotry.
The one thing that gives me hope is that the women who can protest and organise, are doing so, and they have some truly decent men and trans people alongside them. Political parties seeking to appease the loudest voices in this debate are ignoring women’s concerns at their peril. In the UK, women are reaching out to each other across party lines, concerned about the erosion of their hard-won rights and widespread intimidation.
The only one seeking to erode the rights of women is you lot. Treating trans women as women does not in any way infringe on your rights. If you really want gender-segregated spaces and you can't accept that I belong in with you then it is my rights *as a WOMAN* that are being erased.
None of the gender critical women I’ve talked to hates trans people; on the contrary. Many of them became interested in this issue in the first place out of concern for trans youth, and they’re hugely sympathetic towards trans adults who simply want to live their lives, but who’re facing a backlash for a brand of activism they don’t endorse.
Oh yes. They care so much about trans youth. Just not enough, I guess, to treat them with dignity and respect.
The supreme irony is that the attempt to silence women with the word ‘TERF’ may have pushed more young women towards radical feminism than the movement’s seen in decades.
In other words, women who are transphobic bigots are finding out that there are other transphobic bigots they can join. That doesn't mean they aren't full of irrational hatred.
The last thing I want to say is this. I haven’t written this essay in the hope that anybody will get out a violin for me, not even a teeny-weeny one. I’m extraordinarily fortunate; I’m a survivor, certainly not a victim. I’ve only mentioned my past because, like every other human being on this planet, I have a complex backstory, which shapes my fears, my interests and my opinions. I never forget that inner complexity when I’m creating a fictional character and I certainly never forget it when it comes to trans people.
Oh, it's very clear that you have your traumatic past very much in mind when it comes to trans people. It is what makes you see trans women as decietful male predators or the enablers of such and it is what leads you to assume that trans men are just women trying to escape misogyny. I understand that that you are afraid of men. But your fear has led you down a path of hatred. You have given in to the dark side (yeah, I know that's not a particularly relevant reference but I just finished watching the first season of The Mandalorian and the final season of The Clone Wars so Star Wars is on my mind...).
All I’m asking – all I want – is for similar empathy, similar understanding, to be extended to the many millions of women whose sole crime is wanting their concerns to be heard without receiving threats and abuse.
No. You get no empathy. You get no understanding. I absolutely will not grant you that when you so casually deny me the same. My existence as a woman is not something I am willing to put up for a debate. I frankly don't give a single fuck if you're not happy with that. And I have no sympathy for you. The hatred coming your way originated in *your* heart.
You know, I really enjoyed the Harry Potter series. Despite the fact that much of it was poorly written, it was still a great story (much like most of Star Wars actually...). It is truly sad to find out that the author of such a great series wants to deny my womanhood and by extension my life as an authentic human being. Damn it, Shirogane, I would have liked to be ignorant of J.K. Rowling's transphobia... Fuck.
(I apologize for the lengthy split-up post. I am too upset not to post this and it can't be any shorter.)