@Bastethotep #68890
That’s very beautiful said, really. And I fully get where you come from, and since you’re so open, I’ll be a bit open as well. See, as some might know here, I’ve had a depression and anxiety issues for some time. Sometimes they’re perfectly manageable, other times they are not. And at my lowest points I have genuinely considered suicide. At one point I came very close to doing it (deciding locking myself in a car in a garage with the engine running, I’d prefer to keep it humane), but stopped myself because I realized then what it would do to those I would leave behind, which terrified me more.
All that being said, even at my suicidal moments, I don’t want to die; I sometimes only feel like it’s the only way out of my issues. I love living and if I were to die tomorrow, or next week, or next month, it would be with heavy regrets because there are still soooooo many things I’d like to experience, learn, and do. And most of all, I’d prefer to so something, anything constructive with my life. Even if so far the most meaningful things I’ve done is edit Wiki’s and donated blood, I still want to make sure I’ve made a greater positive difference in the world that I’ve been a burden to anyone. It may be from an old comic, but it’s a Dr. Strange quote that’ll forever be remembered by me: “The greatest gift anyone can ever recieve is the chance to do something meaningful with their life.” It may be small chances I’ve gotten so far, but I’ve sure as hell always tried never to squander them.
So anyway, I don’t mind dying per se. I just only find it acceptable once I’ve made my peace with life and done all that I can, you know. I want to choose the when and how, otherwise my “afterlife” will be full of regrets.
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Oh, and I’m not saying this out of a need to overshare. I just want people here with any issues to realize they’re not alone.