[From a satirical article presenting transition as a deal with "Dr. Lucifer"]

I want more. I want…your parents. Well, I don’t really want THEM, but as part of our deal, you must cut your parents out of your life. Completely. I call it “going no contact”. This isolation from your family is an important requirement of our contract. Remember that time you lost a balloon at your 8-year-old birthday party, and your dad found it and you cried, “Daddy fixed it”? Forget that memory, and any others like it. Yeah, it’s true your mom and dad love you to a depth you can’t begin to comprehend. Your parents never give up on you. They are there for you. They want the best for you. But dumping your parents will not be as hard as you think because once you become trans, you will actually want to cut them out of your life. It will be entirely your idea. And you can cut out the rest of your family too!

And if you’re under 18, some countries and US states will actually help you ditch your family. I have helpful servants everywhere! They take the form of clueless teachers and counselors, child protective services, and others. If one of my servants hasn’t given you instructions about this, let’s review. Start by keeping secrets, and then move onto lying. Go to an LGBTQXYZ meeting and don’t tell your parents. Pick a new name and try it out with your friends, in secret of course. Then, if you go to school, insist that everyone at school use your new name and gender, and keep it all secret from your parents. My servants working as teachers and counselors can help you with that. Tell your parents everything is great! If you can, don’t even tell them about seeing me! When you make your big trans announcement, you can then tell your parents how they have ruined your life and proceed to ditch them. Now since I’m the devil, I will make deals. If your parents or other members of your family are “all in” with your new identity and support gender ideology, you can consider keeping them around. (Note to Reader - Gender ideology has been my best gig in many years for acquiring souls, sterilizing and injuring children, destroying families, and just spreading pain and misery everywhere - all with societal approval - so I consider parental support of gender ideology an investment in my future returns.)