Also I think Jesus would have been in favor of woodchippers if they existed back in the day. Just sayin
14 comments
Nah, I think Jesus would’ve preferred the AR-15. He disapproved of blades but he didn’t say anything about bullets, so they must’ve been A-OK!
Also, I doubt he would’ve been in favor of using a woodchipper (instead of a piece of wood) for his own execution. Not just because it would’ve been much more messy and uncomfortable, but because something that clunky probably would not have caught on as a fashion accessory. Even the electric chair would’ve been more viable. Just sayin’.
spoiler Jesus Christ Superstar | Gethsemane (I Only Want to Say)
@Starlight #236695
Ah. Kind of amazing how universal Jesus’ preferences turn out to be. Any Christain with any opinion, no matter how unlikely or brutal or fucking psychotic it is, knows deep in his black hole of a heart that Jesus the Messiah agrees with him. That pacifist who even healed the guy arresting him wants the TRULY guilty chopped up an inch at a time while still alive…
I mean, sure, if this Jesus was a Bhaalspawn rather than the son of Yahweh…
On a side note, am I as an atheist allowed to be offended on Jesus’ behalf for how supposed devoted Christains blaspheme in his name all the friggin’ time?
@Peacemonger373 #236727
No, no, totally not cherry picking. But welcoming Christ into their wizened, atrophied heart has given them the Special Discernment to KNOW what they know without regard to verses taken ‘out of context’ or given ‘liberal spin.’
Someone has a woodchipper. But he mostly uses it as a Furbychipper or a Stretch Armstrongchipper. Who? Scott deShields Jr of YouTube’s Kentucky Ballistics fame. He’s a Christian too.
He has ‘Romans XIII’ tattooed on his chest.
But then as he was a Kentucky State Trooper, ergo…!
KJV, Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."
How certain are you of your faith, you monster? Paying lip service to Christ will not avail you of salvation.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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