“First, masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act
that does not involve a woman.”
That’s not the definition of homosexuality.
Homosexuality is NOT a sexual act. It’s a desire orientation.
“If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other
forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way.”
If everyone I imagine while masturbating has breasts, I’m not masturbating in a homosexual way.
“However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on
homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.”
Look, just admit that you’re gay, we won’t judge that. This layering, though, that’s pathetic.
“Second, masturbation is a form of monosexuality because it is sex that does not
include another person.”
Biology tells us sex is the exchange of and combining of genetic material. So masturbation is not sex at all.
“Since sex is given for such purposes as oneness (Gen. 2:24), intimate knowledge (Gen. 4:1), and comfort (2 Sam. 12:24), having sex with oneself seems to miss some of the significant biblical reasons for sexual intimacy.”
Oh, I dunno. Masturbating to the image of one of the kids in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory does lead one to intimate self-knowledge. Blimping, shrinking, vacuuming, floating, goosing… A whole raft of websites one might never have looked for without such knowledge.
“Third, masturbation is often done in haste because of the mortifying embarrassment
of possibly getting caught in the act.”
Um, no.
Made 16 submarine patrols. Everyone knew what everyone else was doing in their rack after the James Bond movies.
And this is why you knock.
“Subsequently, masturbation encourages a man to become a notorious minute-man who will not be well skilled in the self-control necessary to satisfy a wife.”
Okay, you’re a gay virgin. Doesn’t mean you can’t satisfy a woman. With practice, anyway.
“Fourth, masturbation can establish a pattern of laziness. If a single man wants to
have an orgasm, he needs to first become a man and undergo the hard work of courting and marrying a woman. If a married man wants to have an orgasm, he needs to first undergo the hard work of loving, leading, and romancing his wife. But, lazy men are prone to rub one out in the shower each morning rather than undergo the labors usually associated with responsible masculine married life.”
Um… Have you ever MET a woman? I don’t masturbate because I don’t have or want to spend the time convincing her to touch me. I masturbate because it feels good and there’s nothing on TV for at last five minutes.
“Fifth, though masturbation is biblically permissible,”
You would be totally fucking AMAZEBALLS at how little this impacts my decision-making.