I’m glad your son is putting himself first. I’m guessing he has put y’all first for most of his life, protected you from the he has experienced, and likely blamed himself and his being trans for any bad things he experienced.
You sound like very selfish people - I’m guessing you didn’t even noticed him putting himself and his needs last until he stopped doing it and started putting himself and his emotional and physical health first.
Your son deserves love, acceptance, joy, validation, and grace. I’m guessing from your horrific screed that you and your spouse are incapable of giving those things.
You may have heard this from us before: we did not get married to have you; you are a result of our love and marriage. We must begin to put ourselves, our marriage, and our health first after so long.
“we did not get married to have you; you are the result of our love and marriage.” What kind of person do you have to be to say this to your child? It’s basically implying that your son isn’t important while at the same time demanding that he grovel and be ‘thankful’ that you created him. As I’ve already said, you have likely been putting yourself first this entire time.
We long for the day when we can welcome you back—with open arms and hearts—to our family as our daughter.
This, right here, is emotional blackmail. You are forcing your child to choose being having a family and being who they are. You are also making them responsible for your actions and choices.
Even though your son is probably feeling incredibly hurt and betrayed by you right now, I’m thinking that ultimately they will be far healthier and happier without you dragging them down and shaming them for being who they are.
Edited for grammatical mistakes