OH GOOD GRAVY!
The sad thing is that this was probably based on something legit but the OP embellished the heck out of it and added the bit about her vag being wet despite the fact that there was no way to check…
#1 & 2: She’s burning in the fire and in pain, she is also struggling to breathe due to the heat, smoke and carbon monoxide. Of course, she’ll be tense and her chest heaving.
#3 & 4: I’ll let this slide for “Religious Hagiography” and “Religious Devotion” reasons. She was canonized as a Saint and was a deeply religious young lady who claimed to receive messages from Michael the Archangel. Her showing little response to physical pain, religious ecstasy and crying out to Jesus is a given.
#5: This, however is a fabrication by the OP as a means to be a tasteless douche and to drive the point home that the above describe a gal who is such a masochist freak that she “gets off” on turning into a charcoal briquette… thus reducing this brave woman who lead armies, won battles, was generally awesome and a holy, saintly spiritual figure into some “common degenerate pain-fetishizing slut”.
… Finally, She was a teenage girl and, by today’s standards, an underaged kiddo.
So, in a nutshell, this jerk is putting down a teen girl who was awesome beyond her years on both the battlefield and as a religious and national icon because he can’t get a date, has no self-awareness, is too lazy to improve himself and his mommy makes his pizza rolls when he could easily microwave them himself.