The Unicorns existed, but they were too stupid to get on the Ark. So sayeth the Historical Documents:
A long time ago, when the earth was still green
And there were more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the earth was being born
But the loveliest of all was the unicorn
Now god seen some sinnin' and it gave him pain
And he says, "stand back, I'm going to make it rain"
He says, "hey, brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo"
Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the ark just as the rain started fallin'
He marched in the animals two by two
And he called out as they went through
Then Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them unicorns was hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pouring
Oh, them silly unicorns
The ark started movin', it drifted with the tide
Them unicorns looked up from the rock and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
And that's why you'll never see a unicorn, to this very day
you'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no unicorn
Norm