Expanding the List of Human Blights
Some types of people were left off of the last (too short) list of human blights. Let us fix that:
Human Blights:
Jews
Black people
Brown people
vegetarians
queers
trannies
midgets
fat people
people who constantly whistle
people who practice yoga
people who eat sushi
people who eat tofu
people who believe in global warming
people who watch Woody Allen movies
people who own more than 3 cats
people who drive electric cars
people who don’t carry a pocket knife
people who correct your grammar
25 comments
That’s nearly everybody.
For example, carrying a pocket knife (NOT a weapon) is mostly a hangover from days spent as a Scout in boyhood. Or else something you’d expect from someone who’s doing a lot of fixing stuff in their spare time, like a farmer or a biker. You’re talking about 3% of men and 0.1% of women (nail files don’t count).
Also, Socrates (the Greek philosopher) was a “queer”. Probably would have made some others on the list as well, had he lived in modern times. Also, he’s most famous for saying he was aware of his own ignorance, which in the case of this quotee, is blatantly not the case.
Why 'people who watch Woody Allen movies'?
Why not 'Woody Allen, for making movies'?
You're affixing 'blight' to those at the end of a very big process. And YOU had to watch at least one Woody Allen movie in order to come to this opinion, right? So, you're just fractally wrong, here.
people who correct your grammar
...in other words, people who are educationally superior to you, Soak Rates.
Nietzsche preferred the company of Jews to other people. Do you know why?
They gave him more of a challenge in discussions and debates because they were better educated .
Even Friedrich knew that being an 'Ubermensch' didn't necessarily mean physical strength: ergo, Israel being the tech powerhouse it is today.
So much for the so-called 'Master Race'.
@Conscience #96740
Good point.
But that furthers the fractal error. I mean, 'blight' means "to have a severely detrimental effect on." I can sorta see (though not agree with) a fear that 'teh joos' are controlling the world, manipulating the markets, pulling strings and etc. which has a theoretical detrimental effect on us all. If he's identified Woody Allen Movies as a detrimental effect, then he's mad at all Jews, Woody Allen, Woody Allen Movies, the funding of Woody Allen Movies, their distribution, manipulation of the media in commercials and movie reviews to drive up viewership, positioning at theaters to maximize viewership, and Woody Allen Movie Merchandising, blah, bleh, blabbity.
And he just lists the people who choose to be manipulated by all this manipulation, THEY'RE the blight upon humanity. Yeah.
Wouldn’t a single point:
Mean Poopooheads.
Be quite enough? When it comes to these things, less is more, my hostile and most likely both uneducated and inbred fella.
“people who own more than 3 cats”
Phew! Squeked just by under with 2!
“people who don’t carry a pocket knife”
A pocket knife? How gauche and unmanly, that will simply not do for a penis substitute, how about we one-up this to “people who don’t always open carry at all times”?
“midgets”
Yup, I can definitely see your shit being ever-so-kicked in by some offended person with dwarfism. One stereotype happens to be true about them, they are in terms of physical strength on par or sometimes more than your standard-ass adult so this should be one where you shouldn’t offend not because you’re a decent person to others but just cause some offended midget is going to send your bollocks to the ER and your face right after that. And I’ll be cheering them on all the way.
“people who eat sushi
people who eat tofu”
Translation: I find sushi gross and so must you all because otherwise I feel like an ignorant imbecile, tofu is for teh libruls and gays and such so ofc I hates it!
So this guy made a list before and forgot to hate on PoC, queer people and fat people? Those are usually at the top of all hate lists, so I'm curious what people were on the last that made him forget?
Human Blights:
Anti-Semites
Racists
Gourmands
Homophobes
Transphobes
Height Shamers
Fat Shamers
People who hate other people for doing things different than them
Food Snobs
Climate Change Deniers
Woody Allen and other pedophiles
Sexists
Cat Haters
Coal Rollers
Gun fetishists
The Willfully Illiterate
Fixed that for you.
<@Dr.Weird > #96853
Human Blights:
Gourmands
Fat Shamers
Uhm, I sure hope you mean gourmands as in “gluttonous overeaters”, not just people who can enjoy good food. Because that makes me a bit of a gourmand…
And, no offense, while I am not a fat shamer, I sure hope you don’t consider me one because I consider obesity an actual illness that too many people have.
@Timjer #96930
I sure hope you mean gourmands as in “gluttonous overeaters”, not just people who can enjoy good food.
"Gluttonous overeaters” was my intent, yeah.
while I am not a fat shamer, I sure hope you don’t consider me one because I consider obesity an actual illness that too many people have.
Nah.
Neither of those were my best entries, I admit, and maybe I should have left them off; just trying to come up with something to counter the idiot OP’s “Vegetarians” and “Fat people”.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
To post a comment, you'll need to Sign in or Register . Making an account also allows you to claim credit for submitting quotes, and to vote on quotes and comments. You don't even need to give us your email address.