An open letter to the families of the victims and survivors of the Parkland school shooting

Dear Normies,

Four years ago, as poor Nicky Cruz here was being arraigned, he offered you a deal. He would plead guilty to 17 counts of first-degree murder and another 17 counts of attempted first-degree murder right then and there if you didn't pursue the death penalty.

You said no.

Now you want to stage press conferences and say that the "jury failed you" and that you're "disgusted by the jury"? Now you're mad "at the system" and think that the verdict was "insane" and that "justice wasn't served today"?

Sweaty, that's an entitled mindset. So I humbly present to you the following advice:

Be less entitled and selfish.

Yes, it may have been upsetting to hear graphic testimony describing how your sons and daughters were ruthlessly shredded by a semi-automatic rifle. But as I said, you are not entitled to a death sentence.

Demonstrate empathy.

Nicky Cruz also deserves empathy. Imagine the torment and bullying that he must have experienced for there to be enough hatred within him to make the fateful decision to slaughter your sons and daughters at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. Thankfully, three jurors showed him the empathy he deserved, even though you showed none.

Accept that life isn't fair.

Because it isn't. Your offspring are dead. Nicky Cruz will be placed in protective custody and he will receive three hot meals a day, showers, and mail from his fans and admirers. He may even be allowed a tablet, radio, and TV in his cell with good behavior.

Acknowledge your privilege.

The fact that you were even able to reproduce accords a level of genetic privilege that many others do not have. Some of you can always create a replacement child, right?

Be grateful for what you have (left).

Repeat after me:

“Someone somewhere has it much worse than you, so don’t complain.”
“Learn to be happy with yourself. Don’t make your well-being dependent on your (lack of) children.”
“Having non-dead children won’t solve all your problems.”
“People with living children have problems too, you know? The grass is always greener on the other side of the cemetery fence.”