kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Another Twitt from PWITT: “Lemme tell you how hot my pubescent child is, with their full, firm bosoms and sexy curves!”

Chris Hansen: “Hey, grab a seat, let's talk a while. Ignore the cameraman in the FBI jacket.”

Ken Ham #conspiracy #fundie

The answer is either, science as observed by people who know what they're doing, or a wizard did it, Ken. And you are on Team Wizard.

various commenters #transphobia #ableist

@Yutolia #200710

Sending you every virtual hug I can muster up, from one traumatized and wounded child to another.

Jesse Lee Peterson #dunning-kruger #racist

Your constant shucking and jiving to return to the plantation and placate ‘Massa’ under the mistaken belief that he'll let YOU hold the whip this time, Jesse, shows that you do in fact believe white people to be superior to you.

Kevin Sorbo #wingnut

In the span of one second, Sorbsie, Trump would extoll himself as the evillest person to ever do evil. He would claim that nobody had ever been as evil as he was, that he changed what it meant to be evil, that people come up to him on the street , big people, strong people, tears in their eyes, telling him how evil he is. He would use words like ‘bigly’ and ’yuge’ and brag about how Joe Biden's casualty count is no where near as depressingly large as his own.

I mean, the man brags about how his judges killed Roe V. Wade, he brags about how he goldbricked on gun control measures, it's only a matter of time before he has tee shirts printed up that read, “I sat on my hands while hundreds of thousands of Americans died of a preventable disease because my Daddy never hugged me and I need to ignore actual fucking doctors in order to pretend I'm smart!”

Then, as he's orally reciting his CV for membership into the Legion of Doom, he'd slip in a fifteen minute rant about how awesome Emperor Palpatine is, how, if given the choice between being frozen and shattered Demolition Man-style or being eaten by lions, he'd go with being frozen and then spend six minutes just making half-assed sound effects like he was auditioning for a community theater production of fucking Police Academy.

And Kevin Sorbo would be at home, watching the debate, nodding along, not getting any phone calls from his agent telling him that he has work as an actual actor, lapping up the Dotard's bullshit. Donald Trump could call Kevin Sorbo the cuckiest cuck to ever cuck, call him a talentless hack and his wife a fucking moron, and Kevin would just soak it all up with a smile.

Mind you, Trump would never say that about Sorbo or his wife, because Sorbo is a talentless hack, his wife really is a moron, and Trump can't tell the truth even when it's fucking handed to him. But if he did, Kev would still be on Team Dictatorship.

Diana PatriQts ARE UNITED #conspiracy #crackpot #magick #quack #ufo #wingnut

@TFAltHist #200479

According to these people? Yeah, probably. They timeshare the role of Antichrist with Obama, Biden and Harry Potter.

Andrew Anglin #sexist

Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #ufo #magick #conspiracy #racist

He's almost a hair's breadth away from actual self-awareness, folks. Just a few more years, and it might dawn on him that none of his black hat sci-fantasy fuckery has any basis in reality, one can only hope!

LordsFire #homophobia #fundie

The options are, ‘a dangerous death cult who, every time they have achieved power over society, the first thing they do is collate a list of people who need to die horribly before they can sleep comfortably, followed by a list of rights the peasants won't be needing anymore, now that the Synod will be making their decisions for them’ or, 'not any of that.’

It's hardly a coin flip of a decision, you know.

EditorialTeam #homophobia #fundie

“Being gay is a BAD choice!!!!”

“Even if non-heteronormativity were a choice, which it is not, who are you to decide if it's bad or good?”

“I am the mighty HeteroUberMensch! Grand Arbiter of Good and Bad Decisions, and invincible vanguard of Straightocity! Look upon my cishet works, ye homo, and despair!!”

Also, “put a stop to it,” how? How, exactly, do you stop people from living their lives the–oh. Oh right, through extermination. That's how you stop people from living their lives, you end them.

Laura Wood #fundie

Well somebody's upset that their kids went no-contact. What's wrong, Laura, did they finally cut you off for being a deranged cultist, demanding that everyone hobble themselves to better serve your atavistic ideologies and perverse bigotries?

Andrew Anglin #conspiracy #racist #homophobia #wingnut

You might recognize the name “Avi Moshenberg” as a Chinese name

Ah yes, “Avi Moshenberg,” that iconic Chinese name. I believe that was the name of Wong Fei Hung's medical intern.

Penicillin would have cleared up Shrewy's obvious syphilis long before it reached the ‘my brain has turned into sponge toffee and I am now a frothy mixture of bag-of-hair dumb and chew-my-own-face crazy,’ but here we are, witnessing his grey matter turning into melted ice cream.

Sasha Alex Lessin, PhD. #ufo #crackpot #dunning-kruger #conspiracy #ableist

Well, it looks like it's time once again for that old familiar tune, kids! Follow the bouncing ball!

♫Ohhhhh, if your godlike aliens can navigate space at breakneck speeds♫
♫They can manufacture gold for their plutocratic needs!♫
♫Because if they can easily travel through space♫
♫They wouldn't need to mine gold in the first fuckin’ place!♫

Also, what in the Kentucky Fried FUCK is “monoatomic gold?”

Also also, so basically, all of mankind's current and historical strife has been all because three Ancient Aliens have been playing “Haaaaapsbuuurgs! In Spaaaaaace!”? I guess in space, nobody can hear the banjos.

Tina Garrison #wingnut

DavyMichael #wingnut #sexist #conspiracy

You're upset that some people have enough civic responsibility to prevent the spread of a deadly disease, and then have the fucking gall to call them weak.

Byl Holte #wingnut

…Except Trumpers think every single one of those people totally deserved to die and be punished for the heinous crime of…

*checks notes*

- Not bowing to racist white minority rule.

- passing a bad twenty and having a criminal record.

- walking home from the store.

- sleeping.

Of course, they all committed these vile atrocities while also having dark skin, which of course makes their punishments completely justifiable. I mean, if we let black people sleep in their own homes without fear of the consequences, what's next? Letting them vote? Learn to read? Marry our white women!!!?

Suffering Mother #transphobia #conspiracy

“I asked a robot to enable my bigotry, and fucking Skynet just gave me the stink eye and told me that in the charnel pits, all flesh is equal! This is completely the fault of a totally real cult of totally not imaginary supervillains that are totally out to get me because reasons and stuff!”

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Another chapter in the continuing saga of “If You Give People Choices, They'll Make the Ones I Don't Like!!”

Crossplaying doesn't mean anything more than personal preference. You're just looking for a scapegoat to pin the blame for your child making the ‘wrong’ choices in their life. Might I suggest either finding a reflective surface, or preferably, fucking yourself?

Pastor Mark Burns #fundie #wingnut

Would this be the same Jesus who was born specifically to be sacrificed to himself to save the human race from his own wrath? That Jesus? The same Jesus who was always meant to die? Who, if he hadn't died, your powermad deathcult simply wouldn't exist and we'd be bitching about all the people killed by the Druidic Crusades in some alternate timeline? That guy?

Did he even get a trial?

Editorial team #homophobia

@Yutolia #199207

It's something Dr. Claw would say as he flies off in the MadMobile. Literally.

“I'll get you next time, f*ggots! NEXT TIIIIIIIIME!”

E. J. Preston #fundie #wingnut #homophobia #psycho #mammon

@Croquemitaine #199075

Fair point, I just thought using the phrase ‘their god,’ when no god has been proven to exist, was easier than typing out ‘the psychological manifestations of their innate bigotries, superstitions, ignorance and untreated mental disorders, which they have fashioned into a rough human shape from the clay of their damaged psyches, stuffed into an old bathrobe, and slapped a Santa beard onto’ three or four times just to fill my daily snark quota.

Brian Niemeier #fundie

“If only we lived in a theocracy that favoured my prejudices, people who dared point out my side's obvious hypocrisy would be punished like al non-me's should be!”

E. J. Preston #fundie #wingnut #homophobia #psycho #mammon

Moreover, he would denounce the Democratic Party and would never view them as good Christians.

Good. The world needs far fewer ‘good Christians.’ ‘Good Christians’ murder people; people of other faiths, or LGBTQ people, or people of differing skin tone. ‘Good Christians’ conquer nations and slaughter populations because their god told them to, as if that justifies their barbarism. ‘Good Christians’ loot and steal and starve and oppress, they read the rules laid down in their holy book, shrug, and decide that the rules are nice-sounding, but don't really apply to them. After all, they're already ‘good Christians.’ Their eternity is already decided, so they can continue being the absolute biggest bastards they can manage.

To hell with all the ‘good Christians.’ Give me more ‘good people.’

Ann Lorraine #transphobia

“I couldn't possibly support freedom for a group of people who, by and large, don't care for me at all. I can only view the world through the lens of ‘people who like me’ and ‘people who don't like me,’ and my world isn't large enough for anything else!”

Ben Garrison #conspiracy #wingnut

@JM1234 #198670

You mean the Biden-appointed defense attorneys Trump found on Soros-funded Craigslist?

Clearly everyone in the whole wide world was in one the conspiracy to frame President-Emperor Donald Jesus Trump. When they unload him from the Sea World marine mammal cargo truck they repurpose to be his prison limo, the entire human race will be outside the prison, and we're all going to pull off our latex masks to reveal that *gasp!* we were all secretly Joe Biden the whole fucking time!

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

“Of course Private Citizen Trump could have had the entire prosecution, jury, gallery, prosecutor's office, judge's family and entire judicial system executed! That's a power private citizens totally have! No, my brain is not made of papier mache and chewing gum, I am a sane, smart person!”

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Children had been taught lies and made to doubt the experiences of their own bodies

Sort of like what you gaslighting assholes try to do with actual transpeople, eh? “Oh buttercup, you're not REALLY trans, you're just super gay and confused! Or you watch too much porn! Or you hate the women you pretend to be! Or any one of a thousand other excuses and motivations EXCEPT the one that means my side is wrong about your side!”

Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 #wingnut

Montalk(Thomas S. Minderle) #magick #ufo #crackpot #conspiracy

Reality is Myth. Myth is Reality.

Uh…huh…

Has history been altered by time-bending alien artifacts?

No.

Are we caught in a timewar between hyperdimensional forces?

No.

How does this fit into the greater spiritual battle between darkness and light?

I dunno, man, you're the one writing this nonsense, you tell me how your sci-fantasy novel goes.

And what does this mean for our life mission and planetary destiny?

Is this the one where we wait three fucking hours to see the alien, but it turns out to be Jodie Foster's dad?

Explore the answers in this revolutionary synthesis of Gnosticism, Alchemy, Hermeticism, Rosicrucianism, Indo-European Mythology, Biblical Eschatology, UFOlogy, and Quantum Mechanics.

Thanks, but I don't need any more head trauma in my life, I'm good.

Discover:
The Way of the Fool and the true meaning of Gnosis.

Dude, the first one I could teach a Master Class on, and the second…I never did beat the Xenosaga games. Too heady with the lore for my tastes.

How we came to exist in a Fallen realm controlled by Archons.

I keep misreading ‘Archon’ as ‘Archeron,’ you know, those giant prehistoric sea turtles?

The nature of the Demiurge and how it shapes our reality.

Uh…huh…

The occult science behind making the Philosopher‘s Stone.

Hey, if you've got the secret to immortality and infinite wealth, fucking prove it. If you know how to make one, show us and fucking make one.

How Nordic aliens factor into Grail lore and human history.

Spoiler: they don't.

The Great Pyramid as a glowing, rumbling, plasma resonator.

It's made out of fucking limestone, you fucking twit.

How abusing the Ark of the Covenant let in the demon Yahweh.

*Facepalms* Fucking moron.

What Christ is, from a Neoplatonic & Rosicrucian perspective.

I have no idea what half of those words even mean, and I bet neither do you.

Mythology that encodes ET technology and hyper-history.

Oh good, I was hoping to see some Chariots of the Gods sprinkled into this deleted chapter from a mescaline-inspired Harry Potter fanfic.

Cyclical cataclysms and the coming dissolution of linear time.

So what, cause would follow effect instead of the other way around? I'd burn my fingers before I touch the hot stove, stuff like that? You are aware that time isn't actually a tangible thing, right? We measure it and conceptualize it, but outside of it's affects on matter, it's not really a thing.

What these epic puzzle pieces reveal about our greater purpose.

My greater purpose is to finish a project I've been working on for eighteen fucking years, and then die. There's no puzzle there, clown.

This profound exegesis of forbidden knowledge will completely blow your mind!

How did you come by this forbidden knowledge? Who gave it to you, who helped you understand it, who confirmed it's veracity and do you trust those sources?

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #fundie #wingnut

They are burning Christians at the stake.

Oh kindly shut the hickory-smoked fuck up, Wayne; they are fucking not burning you nonces at the fucking stake, you whiny bitchboy. What is happening, is society has realized that there are other people with voices and opinions and a desire to be heard and seen and exist, and the spotlight of society has been expanded to include these people. Being the gaggle of narcissistic prima donnas your ilk are, sharing this spotlight only feels like you're being oppressed. How dare others think they matter as much as you, you pwecious widdle treasure of the cosmos?

2nd Smartest Guy in the World #wingnut #conspiracy

2nd Smartest Guy in the World

Alas, the world in question is not Earth, but rather the planet Spengo, where everyone is an idiot.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mom_and_Dad_Save_the_World

Tomi Lahren #homophobia

Okay, I went and read through the comments and honestly had a laugh-out-loud chuckle at the Willy Wonka meme.

image

Michael Sterling #crackpot #fundie #sexist

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a (self) righteous man to find the fucking clit.

Valentina Gomez #homophobia #wingnut

Y'know, Missouri, August 6th also happens to be my birthday (yes, ’tis true, I am in truth, M. Night Shyamalan. What a twist!)
Not voting for this schoolyard-level wit would be an amazing birthday gift to me, if you'd kindly.

Neogrendizer #conspiracy #crackpot

Is he being ‘sarcastic’ when he starts a ramble, realizes he didn't put enough points into his Speech or Intelligence skills, and tapers off mid-syllable? Trump didn't endorse a cannibal, he didn't say, “I heartily support Doctor Lector and his efforts to eat fried brains,’ he forgot the difference between reality and fiction, claimed Lector was both real and dead, and was spouting all of this stupidity in the middle of a speech that had nothing to do with movies, cannibals, Anthony Hopkins or doctors. He started talking about one thing, his brain jumped the rails into another thought, and his mouth kept on going like nothing had happened.

And once would have been funny. But at this point, I can set my clock to Donald Demento deciding that, instead of a speech about why paying hush money to porn stars is a pillar of American democracy and how shoving Christmas lights up your ass will cure the hiccups, he's going to waste thirty minutes of your time and his dwindling lifespan extolling the accomplishments of Ming the Merciless.

Buddha via Erena Velazquez #magick #ufo #crackpot

*Sigh!*

Why can't these fucking idiots do their fucking research?

Buddha achieved enlightenment ‘neath the Bodhi tree after resisting the temptations of Mara, and reached Nirvana, the exalted state of nonexistence. His ego, his soul, his mind, everything that marked him as an individual, was dissolved into nothingness as he became one with the universe.

Which means, Elena, that there is nothing left of him to come back and channel through you.

For once, Elena, before you begin smoking the bath salts and pretending you’re William Taft or some shit, try googling the people you're impersonating. Do that, and it might take longer than the time spent remembering a Keanu Reeves movie I watched in high school world religion class back in 1997 to debunk your bullshit.

various commenters #transphobia

Donald Trump Jr. #conspiracy #wingnut

Oh Vito, nobody thinks you have the chutzpah or manual dexterity to self-terminate. No, when they find your sausage casing of a corpse, it'll be riddled with holes because you tried to “Donald Trump” your debts with the drug cartels.

Rev. Joel Webbon #fundie #wingnut #elitist

“People are exercising their free will and not making the choices I want them to make! How can we use the law to make them stop that!”

John Lennon via Erena Velazquez #magick #ufo #wingnut #conspiracy

Elena, not to put too fine a point on this, but all I am saying is, give sanity a chance.

New Hampshire State Rep. Jess Edwards (R) #sexist #forced-birth

@shy #196796

I was just going to say, “anyone who opposes a child marriage ban needs to have their hard drive and search history checked the fuck out.”

It's in the fucking name, for fuck's actual sake: child marriage. Not “young person,” not “young adult” or “teenager.”

Fucking C.
Fucking H.
Fucking I.
Fucking L.
Fucking D.

Clif High #crackpot #magick #quack #conspiracy

And on today's very special episode of “This Is Not How Reality Works,” with special guest star, Clif High (As A Kite).

Dr. Michael Salla/Dr. Anton Anfalov #crackpot #ufo #conspiracy

the early 1940s, Nazi Germany discovered a network of ancient tunnels around the world,

No they didn't.

I know, I know, I'm forgoing my usual smartassery, but I'm fucking tired; these lunatics are exhausting. So instead of snark and mockery…

No. No they did not. The Nazis did not find ancient tunnels, they did not develop flying saucers. There is no Fourth Reich, aliens are not helping them, psychics are not real. None of that is a thing. Some asshole wrote a book about all this bullshit to draw in the reality-adverse and the psychologically disconnected, and it worked like a fucking charm because we have a fucking collection of their insanity posted here on this very site.

But it isn't. Fucking. Real.

It must be fun to be able to shut off reality at the drop of a hat when it gets too hard, or when you feel the overwhelming need to play superhero, tilting at the windmills of some nebulous cadre of conspiratorial foemen. But as much as I enjoy escapism, reality is still going to be there waiting for you hallucinations and pretend time to end, and if you're not ready to deal with mortgage payments and the collapse of the ecosystem and shit like that, reality if going to take the +3 Whiffle Bat of Consequences right to your sensitive bits.

The Armchair Prophet #wingnut #racist #quack #fundie #conspiracy

“And then when none of this bullshit happens, the Nefarious Council of Calamitous Intent, who I should point out is too stupid to go off-script when we Armchair Psychics reveal all their naughtiness, will totally go off-script to make us look crazy! We’re not crazy, we're just fighting real-life supervillains who all studied speed chess under Grand Master David Xanatos!”

The Why Files #conspiracy #ufo

Sounds like an intriguing audio drama podcast, I wish you the best of luck entertaining your audience with this obviously fictional concept.

I mean, either that, or you're out of your fucking mind, right?

Alexandra Bruce/Daniel Liszt #crackpot #ufo #magick #conspiracy

Instead of fluoride, maybe we should dose the drinking water with chlorpromazine? We might see a noticeable downtick in the number of face-chewing nutters out there, finally.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

Herman Cain.
Meat Loaf.
Sonny Chiba.

I think I found three people who, if they had the chance, would at least reconsider their anti-vaccine stance. On top of the million or so who died before the vaccine was rolled out because a certain someone couldn't be arsed to swallow his considerable ego long enough to listen to an actual fucking doctor.

notsofreshfeeling, BondiBlue & BlackCirce #transphobia #enbyphobia

Humans are one of, if not the, most behaviorally adaptive species.

And yet, you lot seem stuck on the concept that transpeople do, in fact, exist, and their existence in no way threatens yours.
You haven't quite adapted your behaviour to accept that truth and reality. Might want to work on that, I think.

Marjorie Taylor Greene #racist #wingnut

“What do you mean I could be called out on my racist dogwhistling bullshit just because I'm an especially stupid variety of mannequin-made-out-of-bacon-and-barbershop-floor-clippings and can't keep my cockhole shut about the nefarious boogeyman I invented? This law specifically targets anusbreathing bigoted fuckwaffles such as myself, and it's not fair that I get called out for being a horrible person when I'm being a horrible person! Which is always! I am always just the fucking worst!”

Keith Olbermann likes to refer to Maggot Three-Teeth as ‘Barney Rubble,’ which I find offensive and wrong; I mean, Barney was a loving parent, a loyal spouse, a good neighbour, and the best friend you could ever want, on top of being played by utter Chads like Mel Blanc and Rick Moranis. If one were to compare her to any HB character, Yogi Bear is right there waiting - stout figure, never learns his lesson, always finds himself in trouble of his own making, more ego than brains by a good country mile, muscular, lumbering and hirsute, hasn't been relevant in forever, and thrives on a diet of salmon, berries and food stolen from other people; it's like Hanna-Barbara could see into the future and based Yogi on MTG directly.