“The tears come without warning.”
I’d feel sympathy but you’re on PITT. So, I’m guessing you’re hoist by your own petard.
"Guilt: how could I have done better? I’m his mother. Where did I go wrong?”
You could TRY to understand her situation well enough to know it’s not your fault.
“Helplessness: will I ever not cry daily?”
Your child is facing bigotry from one of the people they should be able to count on. It’s so sad that you’re the one suffering…
“Despair: how can I fix my fractured family, torn apart by the tsunami of gender ideology that slammed into our happy home?”
you’re the one who made sure it was traumatic.
“Anxiety: what will happen when he makes the ultimate, catastrophic decision"
And you’ve made very sure that you won’t be part of her decision.
“Pain:”
Purely psychosomatic.
“Turmoil about an unknown future:”
Too bad you can’t make the decision to be there for her, but that would require holding someone ELSE more important than yourself.
“Anger:”
Oh, fuck you.
“Conflict: how can I be true to my conviction not to affirm a delusion while not hurting my son in the process?”
Maybe learning enough to know it’s not a delusion? Just off the top of my head.
“Envy: of normal parents who don’t know what estradiol and spironolactone are, or how dangerous those are in a male body… and never will.”
I’m taking spironolactone myself for my diabetes.
You have the scientific skills of creationist studying radiometric dating.
“Fatigue:"
Sounds like loneliness, which is self-imposed. You’re going to die alone.