Scam magician: Hey, I know a ritual that will make a fortune in buried treasure appear under your house and I’ll perform it if you pay me.
Complete idiot: Wait… if you can manifest treasure at will why would you need my money?
Scam magician: Good question. Let’s have a few drinks and not discuss that further.
Complete idiot: So what does this ritual need?
Scam magician: Oh it’s easy! I just need a small fortune from you, then you bring me a cock and a pussy.
Complete idiot: A cat and a rooster?
Scam magician: …Yes. Those words do mean those things.
*Later that night after some fowl bloodletting*
Complete idiot’s drunk son who also proves to be an even worse idiot: Uh… cat got out of the bag.
Scam magician: Oh, that’s too bad. Hey why don’t you give me your kid instead?
Complete idiot’s drunk son who also proves to be an even worse idiot: Uh… do I get to pick which one?
The only sane person, hopefully soon to file for divorce: Hell no you don’t. I’m taking them both and we are gone. Fuck this and fuck all of you.