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Re: Transbiancel complains that there's NO reason why he should be a "social pariah" in the lesbian meetups he's been attending for a year and a half

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(S_FirestoneTires)

GCS Dr. Kathy Rumer
he he was talking about how the idea of being female has always been VERY arousing to him

You know what I'm pleasantly surprised about? This is one of the few cases where someone with that profile doesn't tell people "if you don't want to suck my girldick, you're transphobic" (also, you privileged cis scum, if you want to suck Feminine Benis, that's bad and horrible because it's "dehumanizing").

Ray Blanchard found that there are GAMP straight men who like breasts and a penis, but those men want a female-looking partner, not a brutish manly AGP 40-year-old. More to the point, the AGPs had way too much prenatal T to have sexual interest in said men. For example:

Riley Dennis: "if you don't want to date someone because they have a penis, you're transphobic!"

Men in the YouTube comments: "we'll date you, Riley!"

Riley Dennis: "ewww, I don't like men!"

I have a masculine face

Everyone knows that having a craggy male skull is sure to bring all the lesbians to the yard!

I'm smart, funny, and easy to talk to

My dear delusional Red, if those qualities controlled attraction, oppressed sexual minorities wouldn't even exist. Closeted gays and lesbians could just force themselves to be straight by finding an opposite-sex spouse who is "smart, funny and easy to talk to." Freddy Mercury tried that with Mary Austin.

People are mostly friendly, kind and engage socially

It's almost like people can't control what they are and aren't sexually attracted to, and it doesn't mean they're "bigots" or hate you.

>People are mostly friendly, kind and engage socially when I approach them

>I'm a social pariah, bawwwwww!

>I have a masculine face, why don't lesbians want to get any of that?

Full galaxy-brain definition of social pariah.

(Ergative_Absolutive)

Lesbian meetups serve a few major functions:

For lesbians to hang out with women who get it, in a space where they can be honest about who they are. Straight women, even liberal ones, can be weird about friendships with lesbians. And social circles that are dominated by straight women tend to expand to include husbands or boyfriends (which isn't necessarily bad, but it's not the same as having an all-women space) and tend to involve a fair amount of talking about relationships with men.

For lesbians to meet potential sexual/romantic partners.

Did I mention meeting potential partners? Because that one's important.

Female homosexuals aren't going to see a heterosexual male, gender identity notwithstanding, as someone who shares their life experiences in the same way as a fellow lesbian. Nor are they going to see a heterosexual male as a potential girlfriend. OP is showing up to the Taco Lovers' Tacomania All-Taco Taco Fest with a platter of beef sausage.

The reality is that the woman-seeking-woman sections of all dating apps are full of MtF people and straight couples looking for a unicorn. The ideal solution would be better filters on these apps, but I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon and it's totally beyond your control.

If I were you, I'd be upfront and lowkey. For example:

I'm a trans woman looking for a summer fling, but very open to something more serious with the right woman. On weekdays, I'm a defense lawyer; on weekends, I'm a hiker, biker, kayaker, and amateur pastry chef (emphasis on the amateur).

Basically, avoid anti-TERF screeds and other gender politicking, don't try to bury the fact that you're trans in the small print, and don't go on about how you're a super lesby lesbian seeking a super lesby lesbian relationship with a fellow lesbian. Yes, a lot of the women using whatever app you're on will still roll their eyes and swipe left, but them's the breaks, for you and for them.

ETA: I also agree with u/FruitTreesRule's advice to you.

(FruitTreesRule)

Lesbian spaces are meant for lesbians, so don't go there.

You can try catch-all dating apps/sites and indicate you are trans. Don't initiate to women who specify they are lesbian on their profiles since many lesbians are being coerced into "giving a chance" if they don't want to be labeled transphobic. Don't put a woman in that position.

Or you can just be social and engage in friend groups and see if you meet someone the old fashioned way, but again, don't try to initiate with lesbians. Seriously, it's equivalent to a "cis" man assuming he can hit on a lesbian. It's invasive and insulting and entitled.

Perhaps there is female out there who is open to gender non conforming men, who are hormones, who have breasts and a penis. But, honestly, not many women are into that.

That is your problem, not women's.

I suggest seeking out another trans male if you are open to that.

(ilovemylesbiangf)

Probably shouldn't go to lesbian meetups if this "woman wannabe" is only interested in sleeping with them. Lesbians tend to sleep with other women.

(HorsesCantPlayHockey)

"Transdar"= knows what a man in a dress looks like.

(CallaAETHIOPICA)

Let’s see, I know why lesbians aren’t interested. It’s because you’re male!!

How would I go about sharing my two cents as an ex-incel from a left political perspective (communist)?

Disclaimer: not an 'AMA'.

I'm 20 something years old and with an inhuman amount of effort I've 'ascended' to being a normie, with my own day job's income and place, a halfway finished BA at a university, a couple of girlfriends (none higher than a '4') and a current girlfriend I've had sex with on multiple occasions (also probably no higher than a '4' or maybe '4.5' if I asked the layman), all met at work and school.

I'm by no means very attractive naturally (though I've fixed much of it with callisthenics, proper self-care, proper amounts of sleep, improving my posture and facial expression, etc.) spergy (diagnosed with Asperger's, personality development disorder, MDD), rather frequent drug user and had the typical bleak loner and clown-like childhood.

In spite of what I would call the 'reactionary' character of the online incel community, I highly sympathize with it and believe that it is the product of legitimate structural failures of modernity against men and that the cause lies in the increased social demand to be more than just an authentic individual and partner to a woman, but a full 'product' that needs to be valorizable as more than a partner but as a commodity and status object in general.

With the decline of old rigid patriarchal structures this subjectivity in relations has opened up but in a world where, increasingly, value must come from socioeconomic status, which can primarily be sold materially in the form of: disposable income or other forms of capital, a conformed physical appearance and outwardly matching confidence and (sexually enticing) personality; all elements that improve one's ability to sell oneself and acquire the means to purchase others. Attraction is a financial transaction exchanged for either financial or social capital, and one must have both or be able to acquire either one with the other to succeed in obtaining intimacy. I strongly believe that 'neurodivergent' incels in reality fail to find intimacy because they would never want to sacrifice their authenticity for conformity, and that this is then communicated through a resentment of the object of desire (an authentic female companionship).

I'm not much happier now that I've improved myself, but in effect that is the real problem: anyone can 'ascend' if they truly try hard enough, but it will never really fulfill any real needs, because the real desire is for a world within which folding oneself over so hard just to fit in and obtain what is today arguably the most important form of social capital, a female companion, is so necessary.

My ideal would not so much be a world in which society itself coerces women to (once more) conform to being the guaranteed other to men (enforced monogamy, arranged marriage, social division in sex, etc.), as this would equally remove any element of authenticity, but rather a world in which propertied social capital is an impossibility and as as such serves no real inherent added value in the experience and reproduction of daily life but that sex and romance is then reduced purely to its own, non-vital element of life. I realize the former is that which is attractive to you because, on a metaphysical level, you have already concluded that there is a difference between men and women so fundamental that it cannot be changed by altering society to have the woman be less of an object (inherently, you believe this will always be the case), but to me that reality is not only false but untennable: if our predicament is in effect that we have strayed from a metaphysical essence (patriarchal society) by introducing subjectivity and that we must either return to that essence or suffer mentally, then I would honestly rather kill myself twice over as it would imply that the human experience as such already exists, that there is nothing to discover or experience whatsoever but something in particular one must just as well conform to as the current predicament.

Essentially this means that for all intents and purposes incels are right about the present state of things, and do identify a problem, and are right when saying that, objectively, when one is an incel, there is little more to do than try to 'looksmaxx' or whatever oneself to be as close to a 'normie' as possible. And likewise I share the agreement that this is a decrepit state for a society to be in. I simply don't think salvation lies in the past.

I'm not sure I'm making much of a point here anymore, so I'll leave it at this. I haven't gotten into why I'm a communist now and, frankly, I don't think it really matters in more than how I roughly view the incel question on a macro-scale. Again, I know this is no AMAs, and I wasn't looking for an AMA either. I just wanted to tell you my experiences and perspective and get your opinions on them straight.

If this wasn't the right place to make this post but such a place exists please link me to it before nuking.

E: apologies for how everything in the title starts in caps; nothing else here is formatted that way and it looks stupid.