The kind of people you associate with get off on the idea that they are benevolent when reality is they take any excuse to push recognizable intelligent life that is beyond their control as swiftly or possibly even violently from their personal bubbles as possible to retain the sense that they are the ultimate masters of their lives and social surroundings where all things happen according to their will. A tendency not limited to race but social standing as well. Something often tied to race. Outside their bubbles, outside what they accept in front of them as reality, where there is no consequence there is a quick ego boost.
This is the behaviour you call “virtue signalling” and project it on others who actually do give some kind of shit about people other than themselves and have some grasp of the reality that humans only shape their environment as much as they cooperate to, not as a sole arbiter of will and reality. That our choices are often impacted and limited by outside forces.
You choose to instead strongly impress the message that no one will look after you but yourselves, something repeatedly demonstrated in modern society with a two-tier system of rights. The tier you live on where your rights are something to be protected and fought for that cannot be questioned without consequence, and the tier the black people you hope to demonize live on where their rights are little more than a written document to be thrown in their faces as the ultimate proof toleration of their existence demands deference to any that challenge or suspend their rights and the onus forever on them to submit and supplicate even in the face of abuse you would not stand for without retaliation otherwise their rights and lives were undeserved entirely.
Your example with the school, where you mention white people’s taxes “grudingly” funding a black child’s education? You prove the point in that one sentiment. To you they are not and will never be part of the community regardless of where those children’s lives take them. If you see them bleeding in the street you would feel nothing but annoyance, if you see them accepting a nobel prize you would feel as if that success was taken from you. You breed that environment, and justify it posthumously however you can.