I didn’t even believe this until i saw how big the "rape play" forum is on fetlife.com
And you are assuming that a small subset of a small subset of the population talking about something on a fantasy level means that most people want something for real? The BDSM community isn’t most people and Rape Players, regardless of their relative numbers within the community, aren’t most BDSMers.
Look, roughly a third of the population has a rape fantasy or two at some point, or at least that many are willing to admit to it. Most of those don’t fantasize about it very often. Regardless of how often they do so, it’s not as simple as “women see themselves as the victims and men see themselves as the perpetrators”. The reverse also happens (and yes, I’m going to admit that I’ve fantasized about it a few times, but as the perpetrator, and I’m a woman), or someone might switch between the two. And it’s actually very common for someone to not exist in their own fantasies at all, with both/all parties being seen from the third person.
But the vast majority of those people don’t want it to happen even on a pretend level. What someone fantasizes about (or for that matter, what kind of porn they watch, if any) isn’t necessarily reflective of their real-world desires. For that matter, some particular thing may not even be reflective of their usual fantasies, especially if it’s just a rare one-off thing.
And those very rare individuals who really do want to engage in “rape” on a pretend level? If they’re on somewhere like Fetlife discussing the subject, it’s in part because they want to know how to do it safely, because real rape is traumatizing and play rape gone wrong isn’t a whole lot better. (And yes, even the person in the perpetrator role can be traumatized if it goes wrong.) Virtually no one really wants to be psychologically damaged, even if they believe they “deserve” it. And I doubt you’d ever see anyone who does on BDSM websites.