kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Jesse Lee Peterson #forced-birth #wingnut

“How dare those uppity n*groes ask for the dignity of being treated like human beings, to have full protection under the law and to have the country they have fought and died for not characterize them as foreigners, children, animals, criminals, or property! Things were better when full grown men were afraid to make eye-contact with a White *cue angelic choir SFX* person, and where speaking to the wrong White *cue angelic choir SFX* person could get them murdered! I liked it when the law protected racist murderers and not their victims, those were the days, yessireebob!”

“And why does everyone keep holding up a mirror whenever I start talking about how the Bad Old Days for black people were really the Best Old Days for black people? I don't know what point you're trying to make by showing me my own reflection, but all I see is what I've always seen - flowing blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and lily White *cue angelic choir SFX* skin. Why, what colour does everyone else see when they look at me?”

Jill Colton #fundie

“When we said ’cookies for everyone,’ we clearly meant ‘cookies just for us! Nobody else gets any cookies!’ How did you not get that right away, it seems pretty obvious that we're assholes!”

Va te faire foutre, connard.

Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 #conspiracy #wingnut

Marge Three-Toes: “Viruses don't infect kids! They're like bars, they card anyone who looks too young! And besides, COVID isn't real! Viruses aren't real! The world is flat, rabbits chew cud, and I have the brain of a fully developed human adult utterly unaffected by a lifetime of drinking windshield wiper fluid! All these truths and more can be found in my latest book, Eating Lead Paint Chip Sandwiches: Tales From the Dumbest Trailer Park Gorgon in Georgia!, co-written by eleven-time Newbury winner, George Santos! Available out of the trunk of my car!”

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

You literally stood up in front of a throng of your slack-jawed Flav-R-Ade-suckers and literally slipped out that you were at war with democracy. Either your addo-brenzo mix is off, or your dementia is progressing at a sprinter's clip, but either way, you are the embodiment of ex stultitia, veritas, out of stupidity, truth.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

But there were black Romans. There were black Roman Emperors. There was a black samurai. Vikings served as bodyguards to caliphs and sheikhs. The idea that countries and cultures were fenced in with ironclad borders is both recent and wrong.

But you're right, our vision is a future where people like you don't exist. And never did.

Benjamin Lee Fulford #crackpot #racist #wingnut #conspiracy

Do you think Benjy mixes all those cleaning solutions together before he drinks them, or does he take them neat? On the rocks? Twist of lime, maybe with a little paper umbrella or something?

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

Odd how none of these sycophants ever declare that, should the Commander in Thief be convicted and denied more opportunities to betray his country, that they would step up and save America in his place. They always insist that it just has to be Donald. Wayne doesn't throw his hat into the ring, MTG doesn't make a run for the big chair, Gym Jordan stumps for someone else to do it. If they believe so damned much that Trumpism is the only way forward, and they're all die-hard Trumpists, why don't they take a swing?

Oh right, because it’s all just a grift, they don't actually believe any of this, they just want on the gravy train.

@Nature_and_Race, @SouthPole & @Jagdpanzer #racist #wingnut #crackpot

Here's a handy little reminder for these volefuckers:
Hitler. Hated. Everyone. Who. Wasn't. Fucking. German.
No Exceptions

Zetas via Erena Velazquez #ufo #magick #quack #conspiracy

I am Zetas, a top scientist of progressive group of Greys, who work and interact with the Galactic Light Forces as alliance.

And I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

Eric Hovind #fundie

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

You should have acted.
They're already here.
The Mean Tweets told of their return.
Their defeat was merely delay
Til the time after Obamagate opened,
When the sons of MAGA would spill their own blood.
But no-one wanted to believe.
Believe they even existed.
And when the truth finally dawns:
It dawns in fire.
But,
There's one they fear.
In their tongue, he's Librulkiin:
Democrat Born!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsnRQJxanVM

various commenters #transphobia

“This is what AAAAAAAAALL transpeople are like, no exceptions, no outliers, no evidence needed to backup our claims! Behold, we, the mighty Council of Gatekeepers into Womanhood, had decreed it so!”

Also, girls can't like D&D and video games? Someone tell Laura Bailey!

Wayne Allyn Root #wingnut

“Dear Diary,
Oh-Emm-Gee, I had the dream again last night! You know the one - where I'm asleep in one of those fancy canopy beds with the curtains, and the big double picture window-door things swing open, and the fancy Victorian drapes billow in the warm night air, and he floats in. Yeah, it was him, Trump-sempai, all buff and sweaty from what I imagine are his arduous workouts and not from the strenuous effort of running away from his many, many legal problems? Anyway, he was standing there in the moonlight, his hair blowing in the breeze like a yak in a wind tunnel, and he looked at me and said, “Wait, this isn't Ivanka's room? This isn't the room of a twelve-year-old girl at all!” And I couldn't even breath, Diary, he was just so dreamy, with his leathery, sallow skin, you could really see the flop sweat, bronzer and what I assume was bacon grease just accentuating the wrinkles on his aged face. He stood there like a Greek god - Dionysus, I think, all fat and slovenly. He leaned over me, and I was just shaking, thinking he was going to finally kiss me, but no, it turns out that he just stands at a forty-five degree angle for some reason; I think he saw Smooth Criminal once and he's been trying to do The Lean ever since. I wish I could tell you it ended with Trump-sempai sweeping me into his thick, meaty arms and belching sweet nothings into my ear, but my stupid Mom woke me up before I could get to the good part, and I had to take care of myself in the shower, sorry for the TMI.”

Super Kru Cosmic Commander Z Dr. Kosol Ouch #crackpot #quack #ufo #magick #conspiracy

First of all, Dr. Ouch sounds like an OG 1984 Care Bears villain. “Oh no, Grumpy Bear! Watch out, it's Dr. Ouch, the Dastardly Dentist of Despair! He never hands out lollipops, no matter how good a patient you are!”

Second, are they still using the Gregorian calendar in the 6,575,100th century? There have been no major events, no fine-tuning to how we measure time, no colossal shakeups to human society that would alter how we mark the passage of time? They still use our modern days of the week, too?

Thirdly, what happened to the square-cube law in the future, that we have people who can so casually ignore it just by existing. There's a reason you don't see too many people topping eight feet in height, and why those that do don't last long. Like the Billy Crystal movie says, there are no old giants.

Finally, by what mechanism did Skynet transfer the electrical impulses that constitute the human mind through fucking time?

Ann Coulter #conspiracy #wingnut

@JeanP #182103

More infallible than the Pope. They don't like the Pope much, either because:

A) He's one of them Calflicks.
B) He's not nearly as hate-blinded as they are
or
C) He's secretly a nine-foot tall crested iguana from Alpha Centauri VI sent by our saurian overlords to drink the drug-enriched blood of our children and trap us all in the 3D Matrix where our bodies can be used as batteries to power the holographic sky and deny us our rightful place as Princes of the Universe.

Oddly enough, it's never for any of the legitimate issues one could have with the Catholic church or the Papacy.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

“Hail, fellow racist inbreds! Say, have any of you six-toed fellas noticed that our efforts to spread our braindead ideology like the intellectual chlamydia it is seem to fall on deaf ears?”

“Yeah, it's like the vast majority of people can see our homicidal bullshit for the self-serving fantastical thinking and checklist of cartoon racial stereotypes it is!”

“Do you think maybe we're in the wrong on this one and a society diverse in both thought and life experience, from across the human spectrum, might be better than our shallow genepool dystopia?”

“No, it's the sane and rational people who are wrong! People who don't look like me are BAD, because they don't look like me, who is GOOD! Now let's make a checklist of the people we want to don't want to kill!”

“Oh what's the point, our checklists of people we don't want to kill are all just our own names. We hate everyone else!”

Ann Coulter #conspiracy #wingnut

The police involved with the case admitted that they fucked up, and here's Ann Cunter screeching, “No you didn't! Look at how black they are, clearly they're guilty!"

@fishtank #182029

Knowing Ann and her usual scapegoats, probably gay Liberal Jewish Muslims. It's always the gay Liberal Jewish Muslims.

Lisa Renee #crackpot #ufo #magick #conspiracy

@Niam2020 #182025

Dammit, I did the quest where I had to deliver the poison to the bakery chef, and that locked me out of the Yatori questline. I guess I've got to start another playthrough.

Seriously though, I'm gonna start writing some of this stream-of-consciousness shit down. I got like, seven game engines on my laptop, I'm sure we can turn some of this nonsense into something.

Alright, but I'm still lost. I've anchored my ship to the Mother Rock, and I've answered the Old Crones three riddles - the third one was good, turns out I had to check in her cat's water bowl for the Medusa's Eye, nice touch - and I bought the Rainbow Scythe from the ghoul in the Mad King's crypt. But, after I defeat the Haze Dragon at Muriyama's Lighthouse and the ghost of Captain Dredge appears over the mayor's manor, what then? I've used the Bone Key on the cemetery gate, I've spoken with the girl who sells pies and she told me to sit under the tree on the hill outside the town of Greywater, but nothing happens. The Prophesied Rider doesn't appear, I've played the Fife of Many Moons to try and summon the Spectral Dancer, I've checked that I have the Ring of the Autumnal General equipped and fully charged, and…nada. Is this a glitch? I really like the game so far, the story is nice and evenly paced, and the soundtrack might be Uematsu's best in ages, and it's always good when he teams up with Yasunori Mitsuda, but I feel like I'm missing something critical to get the full experience.

We are talking about some epic JRPG, right?

A.F. Branco #wingnut

“Working within the law”

Oh, AF, you daft fucking clown.

He threatens law clerks. He gets hit with a legal gag order to prevent him from threatening law clerks. He then proceeds to threaten law clerks, in straight up defiance of the law preventing him from doing so.

He's not going to fuck you, idiot. Stop sucking his dick.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

@Sasha #181834

Well clearly it means that every single non-white celebrity got their fame not because of legit talent, but by governmental fiat handed down from on high - on high in this case being Tel Aviv or Jerusalem or wherever the crux of Jews lived back in the vaudeville days. In a truly WN Amerikkka, non-whites would be allowed to have roles in movies, as servants of course, and only if they all wore a full-body niqab, so nobody had to look at their non-whiteness. And speaking parts would be right out.

Jill Colton #racist

@TheKingOfRhye #181830

Clearly the accomplishments of our ancestors can be passed down through the generations, like they were diabetes or something.
Racists seem to believe in both collective punishment - one black person does a bad thing? Kill them all!! - and collective achievement, as if Muriel Hemmingway somehow deserves credit for A Farewell to Arms just because Grampa Ernie wrote it. As if we needed more evidence that the brains of racists were made of damp sponge toffee.

@KZadBhat #181806
I think I may have heard of them. Their music's not my usual bag, but I didn't outright despise them. I save my real music vitriol for that fucking Christmas shoes song.

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

2024 ist unser letzter Kampf. Mit Ihnen an meiner Seite werden wir den Tiefen Staat zerstören, wir werden die Kriegstreiber aus unserer Regierung vertreiben, wir werden die Globalisten vertreiben, wir werden die Kommunisten, Marxisten und Faschisten vertreiben, wir werden die kranke politische Klasse abwerfen hasst unser Land, wir werden die Fake-News-Medien in die Flucht schlagen, wir werden Joe Biden aus dem Weißen Haus vertreiben und wir werden den Job ein für alle Mal beenden! ia.donaldjtrump.com/

Well, Fred would finally be proud of his son. Except, was Fred a fan of Hitler, do we know anything about that? He was a Klan member, but if memory serves, the Klan hated Hitler for being A) Catholic and B) Not an American fascist. Well, either way, Donny went above and beyond with his Daddy's racist assholery. If Don-Don or Eric were in any way, shape or form remotely competent, I'd tremble with terror at what potential monsters they could become one day if they continued that rend of geometric escalation. Thankfully, they're the Bulk and Skull of political villainy.

Jill Colton #racist

Correction, cuntbag: North America was built for whites - specifically the type of white people who think coloured clothing and dancing and fucking Christmas are all tools of the devil, bland-ass bunch of beige-vanilla-Ned Flanders-John Denver-listening motherfuckers - but y’all used coloured people to get the actual building done. It's like saying your house was built by hammers. No, it was built by people using hammers. You get to live in the country while ignoring those that built it for you.

Andrew Anglin #sexist #crackpot #racist #conspiracy

This tool spews racism because he thinks he's superior to other races. He spews antisemitism because he thinks he's superior to Jews. He spews sexism because he thinks he's superior to women.

I find it endlessly hilarious that this barnacle-on-the-ass-of-life has the chutzpah to assume he's somehow superior to anyone. What my mother's dog leaves on the carpet when it drags its ass is far superior to this asshole.

Anonymous Coward #85974993 #conspiracy #wingnut #quack #dunning-kruger

“Some random guy I did drugs with told me a shocking secret about how the world is run by literal supervillains, and, being an especially stupid variety of garden slug, I have elected to take this junkie I know nothing about at his word!”

oxforduniversity M #conspiracy #wingnut

Helena of the North #racist

@Malingspann #181502

That is an outlandish claim, my friend. It gets very cold up here. Of course we will sex it. Sexing it is our primary way of staying warm in winter. Hell, if a couple of crazy newlyweds hadn't sexed it one frozen December evening back in 1979, I wouldn't be here. Why do you think we had all those French trappers running through the wilderness looking for “beaver?”

dcsmit2 #fundie #conspiracy #racist

Also, Jesus was considered a rabble-rouser against the Roman state and, simply by existing, encouraged an independent Jewish people, rather than the client state they had been at the time. He may have preached that what belonged to Caesar be rendered unto Caesar, but the rest of his message of peace and love and a lot of other radical, foreign concepts into the Judaic culture space was seen as extreme and radical at the time, and more than one insurrectionist or rebel would naturally have flocked to someone who bucked so deeply ingrained a system. And although that would have appealed to a great many of the young and radicals of the time, the elders would have been old enough and learned enough to know that Rome did not suffer radicals, and had a rather heavy-handed approach to them - collective annihilation. The Romans did not wait for rebellions, they murdered them in the crib at the slightest rumour of disquiet, and had few compunctions about killing women, children, and the elderly to send a message. The Sanhedrin were well within reason to fear that Jesus’ reputation as King of the Jews would upset Rome and bring death squads into their ghetto. They didn't hand him over to Pilate because “grrrr! arrrrgh! Jews evil!”, but because he was seen as a legitimate existential threat to them. Better for one Jew to die, than all of them.

Helena of the North #racist

Canadians also can't be Asian.

…Why, exactly?

Canadian is an ethnicity.

No it's not. It's a nationality.

I won't tolerate or even entertain genocidal talk about how "Canadians don't even exist".

Who's saying we don't exist? We very much do exist, and come in a panoply of hues, flavours, shapes and styles. Including Asian.

We are the descendants of English, Scottish, Irish, French settlers and Natives.

So if you can't trace your lineage all the way back to the Plains of Abraham and the couriers de bois, you're not a real Canadian? So anyone who showed up in the country after, oh, let's say Confederation, doesn't count as a “real” Canadian? And just for arguments sake, let's say the cut-off point for being considered a ‘real’ Canadian is the moment all the provinces were officially - is ratified the right word? - that would be in 1999, when Nunavit was formed out of the NWT. So nobody who came to Canada after 1999 is a ‘real’ Canadian? Only the descendants of settlers count? Or do you give more recent arrivals more leeway, so long as they come from the ‘right’ countries. Sorry, that was a typo, it was supposed to read, ‘the WHITE countries.’ Either way, double-fuck you and triple-fuck your bigotry.

- Sincerely, the grandson of Dutch immigrants who arrived in the 1950's.

Donald Trump Jr. #wingnut

Yeah, yeah, and all the whores and politicians will look up and cry out, “Save me!” and your dad will look down and whisper, “No.”

Does this chinless basehead ever hear his own thoughts before he vomits them out into the world, or is he trying his hand at snow-fueled beat poetry and we're all just the test audience?

@VonRitter #wingnut

Cool, cool. My fantasy is me and Winona Ryder coming back from our Vegas wedding to stop off at whatever Federal Prison they’ve decided will be your new retirement home, and trying to feed you peanuts through the bars like you were a monkey at the zoo and we were ignoring the clearly posted sign asking us not to do just that.

The difference? My fantasy has a shot in Hell of happening. A remote one, I'll give you, but at least Winona Ryder and I both live on the same planet at the same time and could, potentially, run into each other and have a whirlwind romance; whereas you would first have to learn what words mean, then be the actual victim of all the crap you claim you are, then waddle your cheeseberder-stuffed corpus out of your courtroom chair and do something about it, and that last one is the real roadbump for you, asshole.

RandomFNaFfellow #senpai_noticed_us #psycho #conspiracy

Oh no, how dare we tweak the noses of some of the world's utter shittiest carbon-based air-wasters like Andrew Anglin, the Nameless Croatian, and that orange dipshit with the half-assed merkin-looking comb-over? Won't someone think of the poor racists, psychopaths, pedos and lunatics? Truly, we are history's greatest monsters!

Hey, if Claire and Robert take offense to being showcased here, that's one thing. They're free to feel however they want, and if anyone here is going out of their way to cause them grief outside this forum, fuckin’ knock it the fuck off, seriously, we poke the monsters, we don't become them. But at the same time, unless someone here is sending links to our reactions to their dumb shit, the only way they'd ever know about it is if they go looking for it. If that's their thing, fine, I'm not going to kinkshame, but you don't get to ask the gimp to whip you and then bitch about the welts.

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

Zu Ehren unserer großen Veteranen am Veteranentag versprechen wir Ihnen, dass wir die Kommunisten, Marxisten, Faschisten und linksradikalen Verbrecher, die wie Ungeziefer in den Grenzen unseres Landes leben, lügen, stehlen und bei Wahlen betrügen, mit der Wurzel ausreißen werden und alles Mögliche tun werden, ob legal oder illegal, um Amerika und den amerikanischen Traum zu zerstören. Die Bedrohung durch äußere Kräfte ist weit weniger unheimlich, gefährlich und schwerwiegend als die Bedrohung von innen. Trotz des Hasses und der Wut der linksradikalen Verrückten, die unser Land zerstören wollen, werden wir Amerika wieder groß machen!

Hmmm, seems awfully familiar. I should aske my 90-something year-old grandmother, who emigrated from Europe after the war, if this kind of speech reminds her of anything.

thormemeson #senpai_noticed_us #psycho

BRAVE Books, Kirk Cameron and the Babylon Bee #wingnut #homophobia #transphobia #sexist

“NOT SATIRE!”
I believe that - in order for Kirk Cameron to write satire, he'd have to understand it first.

Babylon Bee #wingnut #conspiracy #homophobia #transphobia #dunning-kruger

Nobody even peripherally attached to the Babylon Bee has ever set foot in a library. Prove me wrong.

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

In the immortal words of Fred Trump Senior: “Donald, you're a fucking moron and every minute you walk around pissing all over our family name is just another minute I wish to holy fucking baby Jesus your mother had swallowed. Ten billion fucking sperm, and somehow you were the one that got through. You want to talk rigged races, there's one for you.”

Ken Ham #fundie

Has Ken ever heard the phrase, “when you pray, pray in your closet and not in the street as the heathen do?”

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

Is it caravan season already? But I've barely taken my Halloween decorations down. I swear, man, every year it comes earlier and earlier.

various commenters #wingnut #homophobia #transphobia

I don't understand Ilion's argument. “Why are you homoqueersexuals siding with the people I think are murderous totalitarians, and not us, who want to kill you and/or control your life but mostly kill you?”

Yeah, it's a fucking puzzle, sugartits.

Branton #ufo #wingnut #conspiracy

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

DERANGED NEW YORK SLUMLORD'S BRAINS CONTINUE TO DRIBBLE OUT OF HIS EARS AND ONTO HIS WISH.COM TWITTER FEED! WORLD EAGERLY ANTICIPATES NEW ROUND OF 'FIND OUTS’ TO GO ALONG WITH HIS LATEST EPISODE OF ‘FUCK AROUND!’

Jesse Lee Peterson #crackpot #dunning-kruger

Then Jesse must be the happiest motherfucker in the universe, because his brain is in mint condition, still-in-box.

Laura Wood and Paul Vitz #homophobia #sexist #quack #crackpot #fundie

“Oh those poor homos must be soooo miserable without judgmental assholes like me inserting ourselves into their lives and torturing them until they live their lives the way we want them to. We're just so merciful and magnanimous towards these suffering queers, we're just like Mother Theresa, but not in the bad, real way, just in the good, pretend way!”

If sexuality could really be changed with trips to conversion camp, then I'd sign this bitch up for the deluxe package at the nearest dyke-ification center. Wait, no I wouldn't, I would never do that to the WLW community, that would be cruel and unusual torture.

Dr. Michael Salla/Thor Han Eredyon via Elena Danaan #ufo #magick #conspiracy

Wait, I thought the alien overlords came years ago, handed out one free magical immortality bed, and unified the world with the help of Messiah Trump.
Oh…oh no, did I wake up in a timeline where that hasn't happened yet? Oh fucking hell, not again! Damn you, Mandelaaaaaaaaa!

Either that, or Sam Beckett and Al need to make one more Leap to make that shit happen sooner. Hey, if we're ripping off one classic sci-fi show, why not make it two?

various commenters #wingnut #racist

“Why aren't the people who look like me voting the way I do? Did they not get the memo that all ***WHITE*** (cue angelic choir) people are to hereby act as a monolithic hivemind? What, do they think that rising waters lift all boats? That there's no reason they should be the only ones to prosper? Do they actually *shudder! gasp! cringe* not hold racist opinions!!!!? No, that can't be, my confirmation bias tells me that I'm normal, and since I am a bigot, and also normal, it must therefore be normal to be a bigot, therefore all normal people are bigots! The universe is only an extension of myself! My psychological architecture is exactly identical to a fucking infants! When I cry, I make the lady with the bottle come into being so that she may feed me! Other people don't exist! All are meeeeeee! I don't knooooow what solipsism iiiiiiis”

I'd say that I pity the trained chimp that dresses this asshole every morning, like I usually do, but that chimp has to dress this asshole, then the chimp must have done something really bad to deserve it, and who am I to stand in the way of justice?